a list of the most embarissing moments in my life. kind of self-hypnosis LOL

[mozart87]

so I kind of feel better lately. I am continuosly clearing my mind about what I wanna do in life, I am more and more tolerant about me, what I did, and also other people, which is kind of surprising:bigsmile:
as I could't completely let myself to a psychoteraphist I am willing to reveal some embarissing moments from my existence.
actually I was intending to do that in front of a therapist as I said, but didn't have the guts to do it last year when I visited one so here I am ....

1. around 5 years old some neighbour threatened me that he will kidnap me. this joke did some mess in my mind. whenever I saw him I would run. because other reasons (he accused me that I bring bad kids to his appartment building) we never had a normal relationship....one of the odd things in my life

2. this neighbour has 3 kids...once when I was 5 years old my mum let me stay with his daughters but I cried a lot (I wasn't used to stay with other people than family)...unfortunately I have no relationship with them anymore...from not succeeding saluting their father and mother and so on...

it's something like we pretend not to see each other when we meet..

it's kind of weird that these women are some kind of acquintances with my mother and that makes things odd....
well embarising...I was exagerating things at some point and that's the result.. but I won't die from that

3. my family took me to kindergarten at 6 years old. kind of late. it could be a reason why I developed shyness and so on.
I remember bein really nervous about that. it was really difficult for me, as I was used to stay home, home, home.
at kindergarten was the first time I avoided dancing..till now. but I am seriously thinking to take some dancing classes when I will have the money. and also swimming, that's another issue that made me feel different a lot of times. I already did some swimming classes but still can't say I can swim. but I felt some relief with step by step facing my water fear.

4. first day of school. crying, feeling insecure.
after some weeks I remember self-talking at my desk..I was really addicted to soccer since then so I pretended to be a football commentator.
my desk mate threatened me that he will denounce me to the schoolmistress.
I was very hurt by this reaction.

5. the second grade...our schoolmistress left..she was young and so pretty..I was feeling hurt, I cried, they moved me to another class..whew...pretty intense.

6.
grades 2-4...I had a good friend ..but my parents beckoned me that his parents were telling things against me to the schoolmistress....:idontknow:
and that she was putting worse marks because of that...don't know if that was true.
the odd **** is that although we were meeting each other many many years..although friendship regressed when he met his wife.....actually forced wife..he got pregnant when we were in college lol.

another **** from those times..I had some neighbours at the same school..
we were friends...that's what I believed..but one day with another kid they assaulted me...
could be a explanation why I don't get to interact with people too much

7. finishing 4th grade...couldn't dance, feeling odd..the other kids were dancing.

8. to finish once forever with primary school: when I was in the 5th -6th grade I was walking with a school colleague and suddenly met two girls from the primary school. I was very shy and well beahving kind of odd....

well well well...I kind of got tired of remembering those facts....maybe I will continue the list someday..although I kind of feel that the best thing to do is leave the past behind and go on with life.

all the best for you, that took time to read this

 

[Hellhound]

Why not remember the good moments instead of focusing on those?

Yes, leaving the past behind sounds good.

 

[mozart87]

well I try to find out what could be the causes of my shyness/SA.

 

[mozart87]

let's continue..

in the 5th grade -8th grade period I was categorisited as one of the most weird kids in the class...
I remember the first days of 5th grade when I couldn't really communicate with some female colleguaes standing next to me...
that was a constant I had colleagues which whom I have never spoken at all...I was concious abut me coming from a family with less money than them...

I was also concious about my blushing...

in the 9th grade some stupid things happened...first we had some eliminatory english exam (one class of the highschool was studying english intensively)
that test was oral...I remember that I had to reveal a funny incident from school life...I couldn't remember anything so I invented one...it was so stupid what I was saying ..but it was ok in the end.

then, in the same school year...we had to do some kind of a project...it was bad again I didn't do a too good job....I remember colleagues staring at me ..like whoa...how can u do such a bad job?

to go back a little to the 8th grade...we had some native speaker teaching us...and we had written test with idioms...I got 2 points out of 10 LOL...it was so embarissing, I felt like to stupidest kid on Earth..

ok let's fly with time ...I'm in college, first day of college ....trying to present myself to two colleagues...I am shaking and blushing and I feel they aren't too colaborative...oh socialising it's so so stupid...
but it was like a premonition that I won't be able to socialise too much in the college...

ok, feel like I investigated enough through my memory..

I HAVE TO LIVE IN PRESENT, DRAW LINES FOR MY LIFE AND FIGHT ALL THIS MIND-SETS I ACQUIRED FROM BAD MOMENTS IN MY PAST

 

[cocorose]

In third grade I cheated on my history exam.. In fourth grade I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play..In fifth grade I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

Just kidding, this thread just reminded me of that scene from the Goonies.

 

[Ithior]

The one that comes to mind is when I once entered a bus with two friends from my class (highschool), I saw a girl I had met in middle school and I said hi to her (and the usual cheek to cheek kiss). Then she was like "Who are you?". I asked "Aren't you [insert name]?" and she said no. I apologized and said she looked exactly the same as a friend of mine, I think I said more things to apologize myself and play it cool but I don't remember that part very well.
It was extremely embarrassing and even worse because I was with two other people. On top of that, the bus was crowded so we had to stay next to her, and my friends were talking about what happened to me while we were right next to her.

God I hope none of them remembers that, but even though we go to the same university now we barely see each other.

 

[cocorose]

Ok here's my real list.

Kindergarten - I puked all over the table in school. That's kind of not embarrassing, cause I was just in kindergarten, and I didn't know any better.

3rd grade - I sneezed & farted in class, and everyone laughed. ::

A few of the most horrible moments were when I had to get up in front of class & speak or do a presentation. HORRIBLE. :'(

One time several years ago I was on the elliptical machine in my apartment complex, and I was sort of doing some wierd dance (I don't know why) and some guy walked in and saw me, then he walked right out. :/

Then the most recent was last year when I had to sit in front of my class and read some stuff about myself. Totally mortified, and it's not like I even did ok.. I was visibly nervous and made a complete fool of myself, I didn't even know what I was saying. I don't even want to know what I sounded like. ((

 

[jaim38]

I also have embarassing moments that I didn't share with anyone and want to get off my chest after all these years. Warning: long list, so feel free to skip. Here goes:

1. In grade school, I didn’t want to go to school. So when my mom dropped me off at school, I grab onto her knees and start shouting. The teacher pulled me off of her and she left. Everyone around was looking at this commotion.

2. My lips used to be very chapped and I lick and chew on them a lot. I also have dandruffs. Girls in my class made fun of me.

3. In grade school, I farted in class (not out loud, but silently) and students sitting behind me noticed. It was embarassing. They started to sit far away from me.

4. I used to have very bad fashion sense. I would go to school wearing clothes that look terrible on me. I didn't look at myself in the mirror when I dress. I do look at the mirror everyday, but only at my face. I didn't realize I look horrid in these clothes until later on.

5. It's embarassing to blow my nose in class because the noise comes out funny and "unfeminine." I used to get sick a lot and when I cough, it sounds really phlegmy.

6. I was doing a lab for class and working in a team with 2 other guys. The teacher did explain the instructions to us beforehand. My team were done with the lab so we started cleaning up. We washed the test tubes but didn't know where to put them. My partner asked the teacher's assistant and he said to set it on top of a counter. So my partner told me to set the test tubes on the counter. I did. Later the teacher got very angry when she saw the test tubes on the counter. She said the test tubes should be disposed off in the trash. She asked who did it in an angry voice. I was very scared, some students were looking at me. To my surprise, my partner spoke up and took the blame. The teacher started scolding him. I came to his defense saying the assistant asked us to. She said who cares what the assistant said, what matters is what she said. Then she punished my partner. I felt so horrible after this. I feel like maybe I should have taken the blame. My reputation went straight down the toilet after.

6. In one class, many people didn't like me. I was taking a quiz and was one of the last to finish. When I walked towards the front of the room to turn in the quiz, the guy who hated me said in a loud voice, "That's the stupid girl." Everyone looked at me. The teacher was standing at the front of the room, he probably heard it too. But no one did anything. It was embarassing. I dropped that class afterwards.

7. I was in a different class where I was hated too (rumors spread pretty fast, it's a small school after all). One day, when I came into class, after I sat down, I heard a girl yell at me, "Everybody hates you. Nobody likes you." People started talking. I had no friends. The girl who yelled at me was coached by a tall, almost-bald guy who hates me.

8. Living in bad neighborhoods with my brother in a different city and being called sl*t, b***h, F***. Being yelled at like this for almost everyday. Actually, I'm not sure if this is embarassment because I feel more scared and suicidal than embarassed.

9. My mom parked in a restricted area. Even though she saw the sign that the area is restricted to certain customers, she still parked there. I waited in the car while she ran to do some errands. Then I could feel the car moving. I looked out and realized the car was being towed! So I quickly got out and the tow guy was surprised. He said I must be sleeping inside the car, which I'm not. He said he can't tow the car since I'm inside. Thankfully, my mom left the keys inside the car, so I was able to drive the car back into the parking space. There were many people watching me, it was scary.