Sick of Life

I'm literally sick of life, I'm disgusted at how my life has turned out, every day I ask myself the exact same question.

What's the point?, indeed what is the point anymore? I'm 24 years old, and I have no life, no girlfriend. I have the exact same routine everyday whether it's a beautiful Saturday or a weekday.

The hatred and envy that takes over my mind whenever I see my brother and cousins, which by the way are the same age as me, succeed at life and begin new lives with their new families, while I sit here rotting in my pathetic existence doing the same things over and over again. Eventually the envy gives way to a deep rooted and long lasting depression.

Every time I've been able to claw myself out of depression, but someday I fear that I won't.

Would I rather live my entire life like this? Or should I free myself and mind from this pathetic existence? The answer is becoming clearer every day.

You just put my thoughts into words.

I can understand your situation. I think the answer is to resolve whatever's wrong with your life. Make a list of things you'd like to achieve, and try and do them one by one. Things like applying for college, getting a car, getting a job. You're only 24 and you've got all the time in the world to do whatever you want to do in life. Remember, the situation may be hopeless, but you're alive and you've got options and that's all that matters.

jimmy75 said:

I can understand your situation. I think the answer is to resolve whatever's wrong with your life. Make a list of things you'd like to achieve, and try and do them one by one. Things like applying for college, getting a car, getting a job. You're only 24 and you've got all the time in the world to do whatever you want to do in life. Remember, the situation may be hopeless, but you're alive and you've got options and that's all that matters.

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the thing is I have a car, I have a job, I'm going to the gym, eating right trying to get in top shape. but yet I feel as if something is always missing. I'm always alone, and for some reason I've never been able to form long lasting friendships. I don't know why.

I'm enrolling in school in a few months. but yet none of those things have been able to alleviate this miserable feeling that I wake up with every day.

Thanks for the reply though, I appreciate it.

reD3vil said:

The hatred and envy that takes over my mind whenever I see my brother and cousins, which by the way are the same age as me, succeed at life and begin new lives with their new families, while I sit here rotting in my pathetic existence doing the same things over and over again. Eventually the envy gives way to a deep rooted and long lasting depression.

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I relate to this exactly how you describe it. Whenever other people succeeds with work, money or girlfriends it makes me unwillingly hate them. It pisses me off to such an extent that I hate their guts and want to beat them or something to release my frustration. Mind you, I have never hit anyone, and I don't really plan to.

But these horrible bitter feelings are extremely challenging to live with and so I relate to the big question you ask: What's the point?

If life is going around hating the people you're supposed to love and support, then we're gonna be miserable for as long as we live. I have these emotions constantly as well and it is really messing me up. I've occasionally gone so far that I have cut them out of my life and tried to forget about them. I don't really want to, I just feel it's nescessarry to be able to live...

This is a dark & scarey post...
I reach these lows
And theyre demonstrative of envy, lust , wrath and sloth
all of which are of the seven deadly sins.
I pray for these things to pass and heal
All the whilst building and patiently persisting in taking babysteps toward
Their resololution
Peace

reD3vil said:

I'm literally sick of life, I'm disgusted at how my life has turned out, every day I ask myself the exact same question.

What's the point?, indeed what is the point anymore? I'm 24 years old, and I have no life, no girlfriend. I have the exact same routine everyday whether it's a beautiful Saturday or a weekday.

The hatred and envy that takes over my mind whenever I see my brother and cousins, which by the way are the same age as me, succeed at life and begin new lives with their new families, while I sit here rotting in my pathetic existence doing the same things over and over again. Eventually the envy gives way to a deep rooted and long lasting depression.

Every time I've been able to claw myself out of depression, but someday I fear that I won't.

Would I rather live my entire life like this? Or should I free myself and mind from this pathetic existence? The answer is becoming clearer every day.

Click to expand...

I wish no one had to feel like this ^

reD3vil said:

I'm literally sick of life, I'm disgusted at how my life has turned out, every day I ask myself the exact same question.

What's the point?, indeed what is the point anymore? I'm 24 years old, and I have no life, no girlfriend. I have the exact same routine everyday whether it's a beautiful Saturday or a weekday.

The hatred and envy that takes over my mind whenever I see my brother and cousins, which by the way are the same age as me, succeed at life and begin new lives with their new families, while I sit here rotting in my pathetic existence doing the same things over and over again. Eventually the envy gives way to a deep rooted and long lasting depression.

Every time I've been able to claw myself out of depression, but someday I fear that I won't.

Would I rather live my entire life like this? Or should I free myself and mind from this pathetic existence? The answer is becoming clearer every day.

Click to expand...

Hang in there you have plenty of time left,your only 24 i had some very low years around that age but managed to hang in there,i still struggle with SA but not really got much issues about being depressed or anything like i had then,it can change and very often does as long as you don't give up.

The worrisome part for me is that you are angry at others for being able to function. Why? Jealous, yes, I can understand that, but why angry? They didn't make you sick. They aren't trying to hurt you by living their lives. They probably don't even have a clue what it feels like to suffer like you do.
I can see hating being around them because it makes you feel bad about yourself, but to actually hate the people?
You have so much to live for. Maybe tomorrow someone will invent a medication that will make life more bearable, or you will meet someone special.
Please try to push away the negative feelings and exchange them with different thoughts. Instead of "I hate them for succeeding" try "yes, it hurts to see them succeed, but that will be me one day soon. I have good things in store for me."
Hope you feel better about life soon.

What's helped me is the understanding that most people are blessed with social abilities that I don't have. They have a desire to socialize, probably have higher social intelligence, the works. It helps to realize it's not your fault, it's just the way your body and mind are.

I would advise getting rid of hate. Hate makes someone feel bad, it's unhealthy in my opinion.

Try being indifferent about it.

It sucks balls. I know. I go through that myself. But would you rather live life until the end, seeing how things turn out, who you may meet, what you may end up doing, what might change or happen, or whether you gain the courage to make a difference in your life or not(or in others), or would you rather take your life (that's what you meant, right?) and not find out anything at all, and destroy the fact that you have been granted life and opportunities? What if something great, big or amazing happens after that? You won't know until you live life through, day by day. I wanted to take my life too, I felt miserable, I felt like a failure, I had no friends, I had(and still don't) no bf, no job, felt like I was walking backwards while everyone was going forwards... But I didn't, and I'm glad that I didn't, because things happen all the time that I never expected or hoped. So please, while it's a cleshay, look forward to grander and bigger things, and believe that you will achieve in what you want in life. Live for those dreams and you never know, with some work and a positive view, you could very well obtain them.

I've been feeling the same as you a lot lately too. I'm just bored and tired of doing the same old routine everyday. I can't see the point in anything, and nothing seems to get me excited anymore. I don't even envy others, and even my dreams don't feel particularly compelling to me.

I know all the usual advice; get some exercise, eat well, get some sleep, get out a bit more, sort your life out, get your finances in order, etc etc, but I'm doing all that anyway, and even if I wasn't it would just seem meaningless, like it's missing the point.

I want to feel something real, something to believe in. I need a reason to keep pushing on, facing fears, improving myself. I need a good reason.

The only reason I really keep going at the moment is the fact that serendipity exists in this universe. The fact that you never know what's coming round the bend. Also I kinda feel like, F*** it, I may aswell just live a little and try my best cause what other choice do I have. Giving life a crack is always better than death.

You need some adventure....

I believe everyone goes through the exact same situation you just described, and the fact that your reaching out here and describing your situation makes me know that you can conquer it. I'm going through a major depressive episode right now, and not doing anything to continue forward progression of my life, but a sobering fact that I am realizing is that no one is going to live for me, it's up to me and me alone to becoming more successful and happy.

I would sit down and think, and reflect on where your cousins and brother are at. See what steps they took to get to where they are. Maybe even talking to them about how you feel, it can only help you in the long run. Find something that your passionate about or at least something that you enjoy doing and try to turn it into a career (easier said than done I know). But the point is happiness IS achievable. I think it's everyone journey to go and find it.

The worst thing in the world to think about is the fact that YOU'RE STUCK IN YOUR SKIN UNTIL YOU DIE. There's nowhere to go, there's just this miserable ****ing life. It's like a bad movie that you're uncomfortable watching, and you don't know how to turn it off.

Geeze, I hate this crap. Why can't there be an off button?

reD3vil said:

the thing is I have a car, I have a job, I'm going to the gym, eating right trying to get in top shape. but yet I feel as if something is always missing. I'm always alone, and for some reason I've never been able to form long lasting friendships. I don't know why.

I'm enrolling in school in a few months. but yet none of those things have been able to alleviate this miserable feeling that I wake up with every day.

Thanks for the reply though, I appreciate it.

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Some people don't even have these things or the opportunity for school. Maybe you should realize how privileged you are. Quit focusing on others' lives and being envious. You are causing your own suffering. Life isn't a competition to try and have more and be happier than others. You can realize this and change your attitudes now or continue to suffer.

Nothing stays the same. Things may change in your life yet.
A chance meeting could totally turn your life in a different direction one day.
Death is permanent.