Romantic Attachment Quiz

Measure Your score
Relationship Avoidance: 81.5
Relationship Anxiety: 96.5
Attachment style: Fearful and Shy


Based upon your answers, it appears that your anxiety about losing relationships is greater than your tendency to avoid them defensively. Given the degree of the difference, this is not likely to be a problem. But if you are having difficulties, they are most likely to be in these areas:

Your partner may occasionally complain that you are sometimes possessive or clingy
Relationships may sometimes feel frightening
You may find yourself thinking about the relationship more often than your partner
Keep in mind that some amount of anxiety about your relationship is healthy. For instance, it's probably good to be nervous if your partner stays out very late most nights.

There is also a self-balancing system involved in any relationship. The person who avoids the risks of intimacy, for instance, may be able to learn about the joys of intimacy from the anxious person who worries about losing the relationship. Similarly the anxious person may benefit from appreciating the avoidant person's naturally well-developed sense of autonomy.



Your romantic attachment style: Fearful and Shy

You have described yourself as fearfully attached. This suggests that compared to others, you may be a little introverted and find it hard to speak up for yourself.

You probably find it a little difficult to become romantically involved because of your concern about getting out there and the possibility of getting hurt. You're likely experience shyness a bit more strongly than others do, and that helps make you stick close to home. You may feel less self confident than other people.

For some people who are a bit fearful, this is just fine. However, for others, this orientation can be a problem. If you feel you are fearful in your romantic involvements, but would like to become less so, you may find that you will benefit from assertiveness training. This is a form of training in which you are gradually challenged to stick up for yourself more, to become more active in going after what you want in life, in all domains. The challenge is gradual to avoid turning off the training before it can help you. And the rewards are strong.

Remember that attachment styles exist in degrees, and in this test, the degree to which a style is true for you will make a difference in your interpretation. Everyone has to have some style or another, and the features of any one style only become maladaptive when they exist in the extreme.

http://psychcentral.com/romancequiz.htm

Edith said:

DITTO!

I think this will be a popular outcome here.

Click to expand...

Actually, I believe you are right. But you never know when someone surprises you with something different or unusual. :wink:

Measure Your score
Relationship Avoidance: 117.5
Relationship Anxiety: 83

Attachment style: Intense and Preoccupied
I'm preoccupied and intense in my relationships.

Based upon your answers, it appears that you tend to be more closed and to withhold your feelings in relationships with others. This is not necessarily a problem. But if you are having difficulties, they will most likely be in these areas:

* Your partner may complain that you don't let them in, that you don't feel emotionally available
* You may find that relationships may start out fine but deteriorate because you won't take the risks necessary to deepen the relationship
* You may have trouble making long-term commitments that require intimacy

Any distress this behavior may cause you depends on how strongly you opt for avoidance rather than anxiety. Avoidance, after all, is healthy and necessary to maintain your autonomy, self esteem and safety. Its may be good to avoid possible partners when your instincts tell you that they are dangerous.

There is also a self-balancing system involved in any relationship. The person who avoids the risks of intimacy, for instance, may be able to learn about the joys of intimacy from the anxious person who worries about losing the relationship. Similarly the anxious person may benefit from appreciating the avoidant person's naturally well-developed sense of autonomy.

Your romantic attachment style: Intense and Preoccupied
You have described yourself as preoccupied in your attachments. This suggests that you have more intense interpersonal relations than many people do, that in your romantic relations you sometimes feel really quite close, and at other times you feel almost estranged and cut-off. You probably have a hard time asserting yourself in a way that makes you feel you are really in control of your emotions. You may find that you often feel let down and as if you are giving much more than you get in your romances.

It's possible that your partners feel as if you don't really know who they are, even though you feel you are very intimate with them. You probably have a higher level of emotional arousal than most other people, both positive and negative, and this gets expressed in your romantic relationships. You may find it hard to be without a lover, and yet find that when you have a lover, the intensity puts a strain on the relationship.

Being preoccupied in romance is a matter of degree. A good lover thinks of the beloved often and holds the beloved in her or his thoughts. Mindfulness is a virtue and being mindful of one's lover is highly regarded and a tremendous asset in close relationships. But there's a difference between mindfulness and preoccupation. If you feel that perhaps you have been too preoccupied in love, it may be time for you to consider professional help. Being overly preoccupied in love is a condition that can often be successfully addressed in psychotherapy.

Remember that attachment styles exist in degrees, and in this test, the degree to which a style is true for you will make a difference in your interpretation. Everyone has to have some style or another, and the features of any one style only become maladaptive when they exist in the extreme.

Relationship Avoidance: 86
Relationship Anxiety: 78.5
Attachment style: Secure and Happy

Your romantic attachment style: Secure and Happy
You have described yourself as securely attached. This means that you are likely to have happier relationships and be better able to sustain commitments than people who have an insecure attachment style.

You are likely to have more positive emotional experiences and to be more happy and outgoing in interpersonal relationships. You will be more likely to express what you really feel. You are more likely to be able to depend on others when it is appropriate, and yet able to function autonomously in your own sphere when that is appropriate. You are also more likely to raise children who themselves will have a secure attachment style.

At this stage of your development in romantic relationships, you tend to be pretty evenly balanced in your attachment style. You are not significantly more anxious about them, nor significantly avoiding intimacy or emotional closeness in relationships.

This is a healthy balance, but it also may mean that it is more difficult for you to find someone else who has achieved this same healthy balance! Most people tend to either have greater anxiety or greater avoidance in relationships. You'd probably be most comfortable and at ease in a relationship where your partner is also fairly balanced in their romantic attachment approach.

So congratulate yourself!! You're a part of a well-balanced breed when it comes to your romantic attachment style.

...Seriously?

Relationship Avoidance: 98
Relationship Anxiety: 77
Attachment style: Intense and Preoccupied

Based upon your answers, it appears that you tend to be more closed and to withhold your feelings in relationships with others. This is not necessarily a problem. But if you are having difficulties, they will most likely be in these areas:

* Your partner may complain that you don't let them in, that you don't feel emotionally available
* You may find that relationships may start out fine but deteriorate because you won't take the risks necessary to deepen the relationship
* You may have trouble making long-term commitments that require intimacy

Any distress this behavior may cause you depends on how strongly you opt for avoidance rather than anxiety. Avoidance, after all, is healthy and necessary to maintain your autonomy, self esteem and safety. Its may be good to avoid possible partners when your instincts tell you that they are dangerous.

There is also a self-balancing system involved in any relationship. The person who avoids the risks of intimacy, for instance, may be able to learn about the joys of intimacy from the anxious person who worries about losing the relationship. Similarly the anxious person may benefit from appreciating the avoidant person's naturally well-developed sense of autonomy.

Your romantic attachment style: Intense and Preoccupied

You have described yourself as preoccupied in your attachments. This suggests that you have more intense interpersonal relations than many people do, that in your romantic relations you sometimes feel really quite close, and at other times you feel almost estranged and cut-off. You probably have a hard time asserting yourself in a way that makes you feel you are really in control of your emotions. You may find that you often feel let down and as if you are giving much more than you get in your romances.

It's possible that your partners feel as if you don't really know who they are, even though you feel you are very intimate with them. You probably have a higher level of emotional arousal than most other people, both positive and negative, and this gets expressed in your romantic relationships. You may find it hard to be without a lover, and yet find that when you have a lover, the intensity puts a strain on the relationship.

Being preoccupied in romance is a matter of degree. A good lover thinks of the beloved often and holds the beloved in her or his thoughts. Mindfulness is a virtue and being mindful of one's lover is highly regarded and a tremendous asset in close relationships. But there's a difference between mindfulness and preoccupation. If you feel that perhaps you have been too preoccupied in love, it may be time for you to consider professional help. Being overly preoccupied in love is a condition that can often be successfully addressed in psychotherapy.

Remember that attachment styles exist in degrees, and in this test, the degree to which a style is true for you will make a difference in your interpretation. Everyone has to have some style or another, and the features of any one style only become maladaptive when they exist in the extreme.

Relationship Avoidance: 57.5
Relationship Anxiety: 89
Attachment style: Cool and Dismissive

Your romantic attachment style: Cool and Dismissive

You have suggested that you have a dismissing style toward attachments, that they are really not too important to you. It is likely that you get along in your relationships, but don't invest yourself very much in them. You are also likely not to experience a great deal of distress in life and you probably don't experience feelings that are extremely intense, compared to people around you. Compared to them, you probably are not as excitable and tend not to get worked up over things.

This is a perfectly fine way to be and it probably keeps you on a very even keel. However, someday you may find that you are starting to feel lonely and that you would like to have closer relationships. If this should happen, but you find that you are unable to achieve the closeness you want, you may want to engage the services of a professional psychotherapist. This is the kind of life change that a professional can really help with.

Remember that attachment styles exist in degrees, and in this test, the degree to which a style is true for you will make a difference in your interpretation. Everyone has to have some style or another, and the features of any one style only become maladaptive when they exist in the extreme.

so apparently I'm unexictable and weird.

^ hey we got the same "cool and dismissive" thing

Measure Your score
Relationship Avoidance: 33.5
Relationship Anxiety: 87.5
Attachment style: Cool and Dismissive

Relationship Avoidance: 83
Relationship Anxiety: 71
Attachment style: Fearful and Shy

I tried to do it, but eventually find out that I'll had to made too much assumptions, so it wouldn't be a trustful result. Well, even if I ever had any relationship experience to feed the test with real data, I wouldn't trust too much its results.

Relationship Avoidance: 110
Relationship Anxiety: 84.5
Attachment style: Fearful and Shy

This was surprisingly accurate for me unfortunately.

Since I've never had anything close to "romantic partner", I can't really answer the questions. I would just be guessing and for all I know If I was in a relationship, I might behave differently than I thought I would.