Post your picture thread - the debate

[Starry]

Re: Post your picture thread

I think Kia is right to a degree... I've noticed people who are well above average looking get many more comments than people who are average or below... Now that's not to say that all people who only get a few comments are "ugly", just not outstanding.

However, I must add people DO miss pictures. I've missed pictures myself and only realised when I've checked the thread after someone else has posted and I've seen other people's comments.

I must also add though, that I only comment on some people... Usually those of the opposite gender (I feel my opinion is less valid if it's the same gender and it sounds false to me) and only if I can think of something specific to say. I hate just saying "you look good" as it sounds incredibly false to me, so I will only comment if I can say "you have nice eyes" or "you look friendly" or something to that effect and it has to be true for me to say it. I'm not the sort of person that will give fake compliments because then the real ones mean nothing... Maybe that's why I never truly accept praise from others, I know others are very prone to lying in that regard.

 

[WishingICould]

Re: Post your picture thread

I think Kia is right to a degree... I've noticed people who are well above average looking get many more comments than people who are average or below... Now that's not to say that all people who only get a few comments are "ugly", just not outstanding.

However, I must add people DO miss pictures. I've missed pictures myself and only realised when I've checked the thread after someone else has posted and I've seen other people's comments.

I must also add though, that I only comment on some people... Usually those of the opposite gender (I feel my opinion is less valid if it's the same gender and it sounds false to me) and only if I can think of something specific to say. I hate just saying "you look good" as it sounds incredibly false to me, so I will only comment if I can say "you have nice eyes" or "you look friendly" or something to that effect and it has to be true for me to say it. I'm not the sort of person that will give fake compliments because then the real ones mean nothing... Maybe that's why i never truly accept praise from others, i know others are very prone to lying in that regard.

Is it helpful to point that out on a forum for people with SA/BDD etc though?

Anyway, let's drop it as this thread is going off track.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Re: Post your picture thread

...

mg:

 

[kilojoule]

Re: Post your picture thread

I am only out of line by throwing the thread off into a debate - rather than what the thread is actually about. No doubt this will all get deleted anyway, which it probably should. I am not the type to sugar coat something if that is the way it is - Don't interpret what I am saying as being spiteful or having a cruel nature. Sorry that I offended you both by implicitly suggesting that appearance actually counts for something. Anyway I can tell that I am causing distress, so I will back off.

haha

Not taking the bait on this one

Back to photos, I'll start

 

[WishingICould]

Re: Post your picture thread

haha

Not taking the bait on this one

Back to photos, I'll start

That's cute.

 

[theslowesthand]

Re: Post your picture thread

I think I see your point. It may depend on the person. I'm glad to read so many positive comments. However not one person commented on my pic good or bad

That's kind of the point i was trying make, that it could be "dangerous" for someone to post their pic, if they are overly obsessed or concerned about the feedback they may receive (or not receive).

I think basically it can be split into 2 things:
1) What the poster of their pic hopes to gain (eg as Jewel said, to gain some "community" type stuff, or they are hoping/fishing for compliments, or ...?)
2) How the viewers of the pic perceive & respond to the pic (the viewer can be very shallow & judgmental if that's their way (eg rating image in terms of physical or sexual attracticvess, or they might be looking past the surface (attempting to see their personality, or even the person, or ...?)

True, there's 2 sides to every coin. I'm just trying to see the cons/negatives as well, not just the pros/posiives .. to "balance things out".

 

[kilojoule]

Re: Post your picture thread

Eh Jewel never said anything about fishing for compliments...

But why not, as Nate suggested, start another thread if you want to discuss it. This is all going to get deleted anyway.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Re: Post your picture thread

Perhaps some kindly mod could even do the work of separating the posts out to form the new thread..?

:bigsmile:

 

[theslowesthand]

This thread is in general, about the pros/cons of having a http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/post-your-picture-thread-4089/page-1358/ (or similar) thread.

This is (hopefully) where all future "debating" wiill go now, rather than the http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/post-your-picture-thread-4089/page-1358/ thread itself (which is meant for pictures mainly).

There is also the benefit of having a poll :thumbup: :bigsmile:

Edit: This was meant to be the first post .. so have re-added it back there.

 

[theslowesthand]

Re: Post your picture thread

^That discussion might be better in a thread of its own. The comments in this one will likely get deleted as off-topic

Strictly speaking, i don't think it's off-topic, though some might ... but good idea ---> http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/post-your-picture-thread-the-debate-50963/ erfect: :thumbup: :bigsmile:

 

[theslowesthand]

Re: Post your picture thread

Eh Jewel never said anything about fishing for compliments...

Yours is just up to the comma.

But why not, as Nate suggested, start another thread if you want to discuss it. This is all going to get deleted anyway

Done.

PS to moderators: In the http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/post-your-picture-thread-the-debate-50963/ thread i've just created, you could i guess move the appropriate posts to there. But i have linked back to page 1358 anyway. And hopefully any more debate will happen on this new thread. So it's just more workload for you to have to separate-out & shift them all. But whatever, it's your call.

 

[WishingICould]

I voted for unsure. I'm not against it but it can be a bit tricky if you have low self esteem.

 

[Lea]

I voted "for". It is good to see how the people who post here look.If someone is very selfconscious they don't have to post their pic, although it is a shame as there are some long posters who never posted their photo and I am curious what they look like.This said,I am not after if they are attractive or not,just to know who is behind the words.

 

[Hellhound]

I don't really care if it's there or not because I don't post pictures of me on the internet. But if others like the thread, it's okay.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I voted "unsure." I have never posted my photo in that thread and probably never will. The thread is public so anyone can see. If it were private for only members with a certain number of posts to view it would be different (I have seen this in other forums). Yeah, maybe I am a tad too paranoid. Still, I do like seeing what other members here look like; it is the whole curiosity thing like Lea mentioned.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

It's always interesting to see what other members look like (everyone is so attractive). And, a nice way to give positive feedback to people that are insecure about their appearance.

But, personally, I would never post my photo either.

 

[WishingICould]

I posted my eyes. That was enough for me.

 

[KiaKaha]

Cool...

For. If people want to post their picture then there is no harm in it - it adds a face to the posts and makes things more real.

Non obligatory of course.

 

[kilojoule]

I voted "unsure." I have never posted my photo in that thread and probably never will. The thread is public so anyone can see. If it were private for only members with a certain number of posts to view it would be different (I have seen this in other forums). Yeah, maybe I am a tad too paranoid. Still, I do like seeing what other members here look like; it is the whole curiosity thing like Lea mentioned.

I have my security settings adjusted so that only members can view any pictures I post.

 

[coyote]

when i joined this forum three years ago, i was very apprehensive about posting my photo, but i found that after doing it a few times, it actually helped me come to terms with my own self-image.

call it "exposure therapy" if you like - it works

i didn't receive several pages of favorable comments for any of the photos i posted. hell, i hardly received any at all - i think none for the first few. by some people's estimation i suppose that means i'm a horrid freak - thank you for letting me know that's how you feel. i always just thought it meant that people didn't know me very well and were too shy to say anything themselves because THEY had social anxiety. but now i know better.

but i wouldn't have been able to post my photo at all if i thought that people would judge me for it. now i know that there are some of you who can't stand to see anyone but themselves receive any attention (even though you don't want any attention yourself) and will judge anyone who dares to put themselves out there to try to feel better about themselves to be "attention-whores." so maybe i won't post my picture again, because i wouldn't want you to feel bad that someone else in the world could possibly have something that you don't have.

we try to keep this a safe place so that people can freely explore their own issues as long as they don't hurt someone else.

how does someone else posting their picture hurt you?
how does you judging someone for posting their picture hurt them?

how does someone commenting on someone else's photo hurt you?
how does you judging them for commenting on someone else's photo hurt them?