Hey Zav,
Congratulations on the trip and meeting new friends!!
YAY!
It's actually great that you met new interesting people and kept in contact for a while!!
I and probably others have found it similar, that many people one meets on a short trip were only short-term contacts.. or possible
acquaintances that could PERHAPS later on become more if common interests etc were big enough..
You must understand that just one trip is often not such a great bonding experience for most people.. And those people had possibly other plans and other friends in life they returned to.. maybe they live in different cities.. Sometimes people stay in touch, but even a very sociable friend of mine usually only kept in touch with one or two people after a loong trip!! (that lasted for a few months or such!!) Yours was probably shorter?
About girls. Well, it's different if you're friends with girls or guys.. Many times girls will not call you cause it's sorta expected from a guy to call.. this may not seem fair, it may often be a factor though..
Also, one or the other can fall in love, or be insulted if you start talking enthusiastically about other girls or such (if she had a crush on you perhaps, imagine how hard it must be to be listening to something like this?). Or if she didn't have a crush on you, maybe she thought you had a crush on her? Such misunderstandings can occur.. Or girls can get a crush on someone else.. And girls can be complicated.. Girls can come with drama.. Girls can count a guy's text messages or become addicted to your phone calls.. (And if it seems like not going anywhere or there was a 'deal breaker', and these can be very individual, they may prefer to cut contact too..)
Or maybe your text messages were too frequent or 'too much too soon' or seemed ambiguous/too desperate/trying too hard or something? (Or you revealed you like a singer she hates or something like that?? Some age groups can be fickle..)
Or maybe she just got a boyfriend or started dating someone? (And the bf is jealous?) Or just got busy with life or depressed herself? Many things can happen..
I think it's best to still be sort of cheerful and friendly.. and maybe even ask about it when you meet casually, but with humor and in a cheerful manner, sort of.. like exaggerate and make her laugh.. ('Hey, what's up girl? Have you gotten married and he doesn't let you smile at me?' with a big grin and/or cheeky grimaced woe - or something like that?)
Just because you feel like you don't have friends now, it doesn't mean it will stay this way - you can meet great new people next year or next month or next week!!
Also know you DO have friends here - what are we, nothing??
We may be too far to help with the cabinets, we can still cheer you on though!!
We may be online, but we are real people too!!
I am afraid of many things because I have no friends...simple things: no friends to help me move in a cupboard I bought from IKEA
do you have neighbours or roommate or flatmates to help? or just find someone in the dorm lobby? or ring a random neighbour? or offer to buy someone at the near bar a drink if they help out?
no friends to come to my wedding (if I ever have one)
well, that's still plenty of time, and maybe the bride will have some?
if you're rich you can fly in all your relatives, otherwise you can just elope? (or marry in Vegas or something funny like that? Elvis can marry you or be your best mate!!)
no friends to do the group activities I like to do with (like rock climbing)...
rock climbing, WOW!! well, some people are just not athletic enough.. or some may not have the necessary gear, or money for it.. (it can be quite costly, the gear and the gym or trips etc?)
Is there like a 'rock climbing society' or club where you live? There is one here, or at least used to be.. It's easier to join people who already have that hobby instead of trying to persuade new people.. Some people there may be into 'solo' stuff and like doing it on their own, or there may be mismatched schedules, I know they used to have some courses for newbies and some trips together though.. so check what's available locally, or start one? put a notice on meetup or something like that?
if you google 'rock climbing club calgary' there is quite some stuff, have you checked any of the webistes and venues and asked if there's a club or something? What about the Alpine club?
my phone never rings except if it's my mom or someone asking me to copy my homework...or perhaps my roommate asking me if it's okay that he has a party in the apartment.
Honestly my phone never rings that much either, I'm actually quite happy with that.. I take it as 'necessary evil' or 'useful tool' and prefer to meet people RL.. or online..
Sorry to hear about inhaling toxic stuff in the lab-?? uhh.. What kind of stuff was it? Have you googled it up? And any healthy nutrition stuff to 'counteract' it? Maybe that can have something to do with being depressed too..
Stay away from weed!! It can destroy your brain cells and some people say it can make depression worse.. research this at least.. A friend of mine said it could make her feel 'happier' if she was happy already or if she was feeling bad before it could make her feel way worse... so...??
I had a roommate who was very much addicted to MJ and she was not a pleasant person to be with.. another guy I know got to hard drugs from that.. and he was really a great guy... so please don't toy with that.. weed (or any antidepressants or other drugs) can also make you feel suicidal, look it up.. Please stay away from it...
You can find other people to hang out with, who do not smoke!!
(That's what I did once, I changed friends completely, cause I didn't like the weed-smoking.. I really liked those people, and we stayed in touch, saw each other on parties, stayed in the realm of 'friends', but I just didn't want to hang out so much anymore, and didn't want to date one of them either.. did any of the girls find out about the weed-smoking? This could be a factor.. )
Also, there are MANY worse things than 'no friends', please don't even think about taking your precious life over something like this.. You know how much your mum and any other relatives would miss you!! And we here would miss you too!!
Please practise stability, for when you
do have friends.. do you think any friends or a girlfriend would be happy if you started threatening with suicide anytime something went wrong?? Zav!! :
:
Someone I know had a girlfriend who threatened with suicide each time he was contemplating of leaving her, or did something she didn't like.. How do you think it made him feel??
I'd also recommend reading the book The Happiness Trap.. I like it how it says in Western civilisation we sometimes think we must be happy 'all' the time.. but this is a myth.. feelings change.. we don't have to be happy 'all' the time.. we learn sometimes more from bad things and become better people through it.. more attuned to other people's problems and considerate of other people's feelings etc.
I am actually happy that I was a miserable teenager once (even though I really hated it at the time) because it helps me understand other people better..
I hope there will be a time when you will look back at this time and laugh or at least smile about it too..
Sorry for not replying the PM before, I just figured you were kinda happy with life anyway, probably happier than I was at the time lol.. and you weren't much on the forum anyway.. it was still on my mind to answer.. in fact I need to write a few PMs - maybe in the next few days.. sometimes there's kinda too much stuff to reply to, lol..
It may also be similar or the same with your friends.. maybe they just got overwhelmed with RL stuff or other friends pulled them into other things.. or need to think about something to answer in a good way.. or just needed some 'space'... and may reply and come back into your life soon, or after a while, or you will meet interesting new people...
just not replying doesn't make people 'not friends'... think about it..
I have some people I consider very good friends and esteem them highly, and we rarely talk and meet each other.. They are busy with life, and when we come together, we still really like and respect each other.. And I think that's what being friends is all about, not the amount of text messages or such..
((hugs))
