Borderline Personality Disorder-BPD

[MollyBeGood]

Hello SPW

Just wondering what your experiences with this have been if any?

Has anyone been diagnosed here with BPD?

Does anyone have any real world experience with this here on the forums that would care to share their thoughts or advice?

Thanks in advance!

 

[lily]

Why do you think you have borderline personality disorder? I'm currently having some depression due to a situation
hope you get the help that you need MollyBeGood

 

[MollyBeGood]

Why do you think you have borderline personality disorder? I'm currently having some depression due to a situation
hope you get the help that you need MollyBeGood

It's actually not me but someone I know.

Personality disorders are not easy to treat though so yes I also do hope he gets the help he needs because it is really critical.

I am no stranger to depression, though. It seems like for me the best thing to do is to keep busy and focused, don't dwell if you know what i mean. Do you have things to keep you busy? Even cleaning and rearranging the furniture can help my depressed state.

 

[lily]

Yes i've never had depression before but something happened and i've gone down into depression but keeping myself busy helps. i've never thought i'd have depression but these days and the world who knows? I'm not as happy as when i only had anxiety which is why i don't even put those big smileys anymore.:sad:

 

[LoyalXenite]

I have borderline personality disorder and its absolutely shit. BPD is a lifelong thing and its all about learning to manage it because theres no curing it. For some people DBT is helpful, it didnt work for me but therapy never does for me, but I've heard that its got a decent success rate.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Not me but someone close, but it's mixed up with other mental problems, alcoholism, drug abuse and a medication cocktail that changed over time, this was a real mess for many years and I'm not sure if it was due to the substance abuse or because of bad work from the doctor (probably both), but anyway things improved recently because of change in medication and dosage. It's probably not very helpful information for you though. All I can say for sure is that mixing medication for mental illness with alcool and other drugs is a very very bad idea.

 

[MollyBeGood]

I have borderline personality disorder and its absolutely shit. BPD is a lifelong thing and its all about learning to manage it because theres no curing it. For some people DBT is helpful, it didnt work for me but therapy never does for me, but I've heard that its got a decent success rate.

How frustrating, so you tried DBT specifically to no avail? For how long?

I am just learning about the treatments for BPD but I was really happy to find a center here that specializes in treating it. There's a long wait list to get in, apparently, too.

How do you manage it then? How long ago were you diagnosed?
Sorry so many questions!

 

[LoyalXenite]

How frustrating, so you tried DBT specifically to no avail? For how long?

I am just learning about the treatments for BPD but I was really happy to find a center here that specializes in treating it. There's a long wait list to get in, apparently, too.

How do you manage it then? How long ago were you diagnosed?
Sorry so many questions!

I tried DBT twice, first for a few months, then again I only stayed a few weeks. Both times it just wasnt for me, the techniques might work for some but they dont for me, and the way it was run made it all feel rather pointless for me. But I do stress for me, I know it is supposed to be very helpful for some people. Its all about what works for the individual at the end of the day.

I was diagnosed with BPD (and everything else on my long list) about 10 years ago. I dont really manage it as much as live with it and my other issues. I try to learn what some of my triggers are so I can be prepared to try and manage a situation or fix the fallout but its really just a day by day thing. Some days I do ok, others are absolute hell. MY bpd is most manageable when my depression is at its worst because it just takes over and everything else takes a back seat. But then when anxiety is at its worst the depression takes the back seat and anxiety and bpd are driving the train so to speak..


tl:dr: Bpd is hell, and all I really do is try and make it out alive at the end of each day

 

[LoyalXenite]

 

[MollyBeGood]

Thanks so much for your insight into this LoyalXenite, *Hugs*
I am actually thinking I also might have it too but the "Quiet" type. (my OP was about someone who has the not quiet type but still has BDP)
I can relate to so much of what you wrote. I am still learning about this but wow. I feel your pain! ( I have always loved your wolf pic btw )

I am learning it is the most difficult mental illness to treat so damn what great luck we have in this world, huh? I am there with you too with your description of how the depression and anxiety are always working together with it. I really wish the therapy helped you. Have you also tried individual counseling? Are you on any meds currently to help you?

 

[MollyBeGood]

Just watching this. I think I have the Quiet type because I never throw these reported temper tantrums but I remember one time when I was a pre-teen I did because they cancelled horse back riding at summer camp. Horses were all I lived for.
He, Jordon Petereson thinks its about lack of socialization between ages 2-4 yrs. I definitely can think back that to being young and being improperly socialized and left alone a lot, or abandoned. There are stories of it from my brothers of me being left alone for example when I was very small.
My parents were also both anti social types too though so it was never stressed that it was important and I needed help with it a lot more than they could do. So the combo of lack of socialization and being abandoned a lot was a perfect cocktail for me. I am happy to have identified some of my problems though, I feel they were all stuff that happened to me as a child and I had no control of it, and those things and experiences formed me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNQQIRKLPHs

 

[LoyalXenite]

Thanks (and thanks re: the wolf pic, Wolves are my favourite animal so a wolf pup pic is always a favourite :bigsmile That video was interesting to watch. If you're interested I actually have a pinterest board dedicated to BPD (and loosely to my other issues but primarily bpd) https://www.pinterest.com.au/loyalxenite/living-with-borderline/ Its pretty much just a bunch of quotes or facts about having bpd, probably a few memes in there too.

I have been in and out of counselling since I was about 7 years old, because I cant afford to pay for counselling I've been limited to the 6 free sessions a year (with an additional 6 if you get approved- which I usually do when I've applied for it). So it works out to once a month roughly which I found wasnt too bad. But its rare to find a shrink who I am comfortable with (probably thanks to the social anxiety) and even rarer to find a shrink who will work with me and not just try to pass me along to "someone better qualified to handle my case" :kickingmyself: So its been a few years now since I've tried counselling again.. Im pretty sure the last time was about 4 or so years ago and the doctor I was seeing at the time tried to lock me up in the psych ward because my bpd and my self harm history meant I was too much of a risk to handle what I was going through at the time (luckily for me the psych ward at the hospital is always over crowded so they were more than willing to listen to my word over the doctors and I got to avoid being locked up- and since I obviously didnt kill myself I maintain that the doctor was a real cunt for just trying to lock me up instead of actually listening to me). But as a result I've been wary of returning to any therapy :idontknow:

As for meds Im forever on and off them, I've yet to find one that really works for me. Im currently prescribed Zoloft for the depression but it doesnt really do much, I guess it helps a bit with the depression, but it does nothing for the anxiety or any of the other issues

 

[MollyBeGood]

I love your boards and just followed you
It s really helpful to talk with you here I am going to continue to research this and try to have helpful insights.

I will write more here later today hopefully. Thanks again for your openness. It’s such a relief to at least know the beast that hunts you I have to say for me anyways.

 

[LoyalXenite]

I love your boards and just followed you
It s really helpful to talk with you here I am going to continue to research this and try to have helpful insights.

I will write more here later today hopefully. Thanks again for your openness. It’s such a relief to at least know the beast that hunts you I have to say for me anyways.

I always found it helped to know what it was that I had and what that meant, a better understanding of why I am the way that I am helped me to accept it in a way.

 

[MollyBeGood]

From what I gather DBT is like CBT in that it is a behavioral therapy. It is basically re-teaching you how to live day to day is that correct?

BUT you also need to know how to re-program your thought patterns, does it address that issue?


I know for example when I am fighting depression it's a constant battle of the dark thoughts taking over that I have to replace with higher vibration thoughts. But it is just that, a constant battle. My brain naturally goes to worry, dark thoughts and when it's really bad, self destruction or suicidal idealization.

 

[LoyalXenite]

yeah it had grounding techniques and what you're supposed to do when you're struggling and things like that. In my experience though it was useless, because when Im having an issue I dont stop and go hm I should do the breathing or grounding exercises, I dont have the headspace to stop and think that when I would need it. I dont know how they expected us to form it as a habit when it was only ever really thought about in times when I didnt need it. I just found it didnt fit me, it didnt work with how my brain works.

 

[MollyBeGood]

That is no good it didn't help you at all.

So would you say your more of a big emotions type borderline?

 

[LoyalXenite]

Definitely, but the whole concept of types of borderline is a tough one for me coz I feel like I fit into all the types. Im emotional and self destructive and angry and clingy and all of that crap... Im just a mess of crap :kickingmyself::bigsmile:

 

[MollyBeGood]

Yeah it makes one feel pretty psycho. I thought I was rapid cycling bipolar, or soft bipolar... but I do n't think my therapist lady was able to get to the core of my issues which is textbook borderline.


I found this great talk very motivating and positive. Dare I say hopeful?!

What progress looks like for BPD :thumbup:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAeEwj_eWfQ&feature=youtu.be

 

[PugofCrydee]

*Pug performs thread necromancy spell*

I was misdiagnosed with bipolar, in the end it was bpd. I don't have anger tantrums, I do have dichotomous thinking and tend to either go 100% on something or not at all, no in-between. Especially with emotion. It can be exhausting.

A far as treatment goes, I've had some success with dbt. It's not easy, retraining your thought processes and in a lot of cases impossible.
I know I'll never be cured, so I'll settle for being able to find some sort acceptance within myself one day.