Do you guys thinking most people are crappy?

[lonewolfgirl]

I have been trying to be nicer to people, more open and social for the past couple of months. But the only thing I have drawn to conclusion is that most people are crappy, selfish, judgmental and such. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood. But most people let me down. I know i have a lot of social skills to learn, but I hate being let down and then feel so much more lonely than I used to.

 

[Requiescat]

I think we are in a time where a lot of people are under pressure and don't always think their actions through. Over the past decade and a half I have noted how people are straining more and more for self-expression and are definitely becoming more selfish and conceated. But there are good people out there and as the saying goes: You don't act like a gentleman/lady because everyone deserves it, but because you are better than stooping so low as to reciprocate the worst. What kind of person do you want to be? You made a decision to be nicer to people, and I think that is a good positive step. The next might be to consider that we don't always know what is going on in the lives of the people we encounter, perhaps they are going through things themselves. And you never know how much the positivity you bring might mean to someone either. I know there have been people who have unknowingly had an impact on me. Ultimately people are drawn to positive people, those that are selfless without being a doormat (assertion). Don't be discouraged and give up on everyone just yet!

 

[AtTheGates]

most people seem to be extremely shallow and judgmental..even people who have NO room to judge anyone...its seems to be pretty much commonplace...like its just seen as normal to be a shallow conceited cunt who spreads rumors/slander about people.



There are people whom I don't even know nor have ever hung out with who have talked shit about me and taken a disliking to me for nothing more than bullshit superficial reasons.


i'd like to be more of a friendly person but I just get judged for EVERY single flaw I have...It really bums me out that what people think of me is mostly false and that they're never going to know who I REALLY am because they're so quick to judge on such a superficial level and disregard everything else.

thats why I really hate gossip because a group of people can say ANYTHING they want about you, spread it around, and then it just becomes common knowledge despite the fact that its not even TRUE.....

 

[Megaten]

I honestly dont know. I cant tell if that would be because of my pessimism or if it is a fact that most people are aholes. I do know people are more mean online though, but thats probably because of the online disinhibition effect.

 

[lonewolfgirl]

most people seem to be extremely shallow and judgmental..even people who have NO room to judge anyone...its seems to be pretty much commonplace...like its just seen as normal to be a shallow conceited cunt who spreads rumors/slander about people.



There are people whom I don't even know nor have ever hung out with who have talked shit about me and taken a disliking to me for nothing more than bullshit superficial reasons.


i'd like to be more of a friendly person but I just get judged for EVERY single flaw I have...It really bums me out that what people think of me is mostly false and that they're never going to know who I REALLY am because they're so quick to judge on such a superficial level and disregard everything else.

thats why I really hate gossip because a group of people can say ANYTHING they want about you, spread it around, and then it just becomes common knowledge despite the fact that its not even TRUE.....

so true. I have gotten so fed up with all the bullshit slandering gossip about me that most of the time I don't give shit, but sometimes when I'm weak, it does get to me and :bat::bat::bat: is what I want to do with those people lol.

I just wanted to be more social and make friends, but in the end, i feel like I have been wasting time for people who don't give a shit about me or think they are too smart and can see through me only by talking to me superficially.

 

[S_Spartan]

Yes! People pretty much suck now.

I read recently that narcissism is now so rampant that the psychiatric profession has had to take it out of their "bible"(the DSM).

As a wise person said somewhere else on the internet "everyone is running game but say they are tired of all the games."

 

[Requiescat]

Well, we can choose to look at this constructively or we can choose to let it harden and mould us into the very thing we hate. There really is no middle ground. If you want to connect with people then you need to be relatable and empathetic. You can see the action and let yourself stew or you can choose to understand the underlying issues. They don't come from nowhere, afterall, that is exactly why we ourselves are here in the first place: being seen as awkward, aloof, unkind and even cold. If you wamt to find that level of understanding then you better be prepared to give it! Otherwise it's just a case of wanting to have fulfill your needs on your own terms and that just isn't going to work. Look, I understand it's hard, I know that there are people that are so vile you want to snap their necks, and i have been betrayed and attacked so often I sometimes feel it would have more productive to have been a hedgehog with inverted spines and save them the effort of having to plant a dagger. But you have to move on. I know my posts are not generally well received, but I think it best to at least try and offer something constructive you can take out of it all.

 

[S_Spartan]

Well, we can choose to look at this constructively or we can choose to let it harden and mould us into the very thing we hate. There really is no middle ground. If you want to connect with people then you need to be relatable and empathetic. You can see the action and let yourself stew or you can choose to understand the underlying issues. They don't come from nowhere, afterall, that is exactly why we ourselves are here in the first place: being seen as awkward, aloof, unkind and even cold. If you wamt to find that level of understanding then you better be prepared to give it! Otherwise it's just a case of wanting to have fulfill your needs on your own terms and that just isn't going to work. Look, I understand it's hard, I know that there are people that are so vile you want to snap their necks, and i have been betrayed and attacked so often I sometimes feel it would have more productive to have been a hedgehog with inverted spines and save them the effort of having to plant a dagger. But you have to move on. I know my posts are not generally well received, but I think it best to at least try and offer something constructive you can take out of it all.

Ultimately, you are not wrong but after 44 years of hearing every platitude, hearing all the ways that I need to "improve", all the while being kicked around by the world, I have nothing left to give. The tank is empty.

 

[fate12321]

I feel the same way, but honestly I think it's your mind playing tricks on you. The same thing happens with me. Since it's tough to talk to people to begin with, I usually imagine that I'm bothering them and that they want me to go away. Not sure if that's the case, but that's what I imagine. Anyways, I'm sure the person I'm trying to talk to doesn't feel that way. Maybe they're just like me who don't want to be talked to or maybe they just don't feel like talking. Everyone is different.

 

[Kiwong]

People are people, not all good, not all bad, but they are complicated. It's the complication of people I find difficult.

 

[CrazyGirl]

Yes, Allthe more reasons why I love pets more than people

 

[lonewolfgirl]

Yes, Allthe more reasons why I love pets more than people

that is exactly how I feel.

 

[Graeme1988]

Yes, Allthe more reasons why I love pets more than people

that is exactly how I feel.

Me too. :bigsmile:

 

[highwire]

I hate people

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

I read recently that narcissism is now so rampant that the psychiatric profession has had to take it out of their "bible"(the DSM).

I blame Facebook and Twitter for this. Those places foster a "me me me! look at ME!" mentality among its users, with the attractive "popular" women gathering lots of "friends" and "likes" on simple headshots. I have even noticed this behavior among old friends on that site. It is truely sad, really.

Having said that, I myself have a Facebook account. But I only use it for a Minecraft server group and to follow tech\computer companies and Youtubers I "like". Hence, I did not use my real name when signing up. :bigsmile:

 

[lonewolfgirl]

so true. I especially don't like facebook. Most of the people there just want to show off: I'm so beautiful. I'm so popular. I'm so thoughtful. I'm so happy. bla bla bla..... and they update everything they do on the page.

But I think in real life, some people are selfish and calculating in a way that they use people. When they think they can't use you, they don't like to be friends with you.

 

[Argentum]

If 19 out of 20 dogs you pet bite, you'll be wary of dogs. My caution and exclusion is a rational form of self-defense--that one dog had better show some signs. Almost every PM I receive online is just from some random guy looking for an Internet girlfriend, and it doesn't matter which one as long as they'll put out.

That said, make sure you're not projecting or jealous over things like Facebook. Wanting attention on social media is a pretty innocent thing, just not to people who aren't getting it.

 

[lonewolfgirl]

I personally think people who seek attention are the ones who are insecure about themselves. If you are so confident, why even bother to prove to others that you are popular, pretty, sexy...?

I don't mind a little showing off, but seeing pictures after pictures showing off the boobs, the body or any other part prompts me to block or unfollow the person. And I'm not jealous at all. I have social anxiety but my confidence level is pretty high.

 

[S_Spartan]

I blame Facebook and Twitter for this.

I'm starting to see that Facebook and Twitter are symptoms of a bigger disease that started decades ago with the Self Esteem movement.

Media, education and even religion have been pushing the concept of self esteem for years now but they never taught people where to stop.

Now, self esteem is a good thing if it is kept balanced and in check. But that is not what happened. It has now gone so far as to become narcissism. And the media, education, religion and even the psychiatric field now encourage narcissism!

In fact, they have sold it as something that you can never have too much of.

So here we are with people buying sticks to take duck lipped photos of themselves anywhere and everywhere and most people don't even think that is strange thing to do but deep down many people know that there is something not right about it.

That not right feeling is because we have moved from self esteem into narcissism(actually we have moved into solipsism, but that another discussion) and narcissism is basically an anti-social disease.

 

[S_Spartan]

If 19 out of 20 dogs you pet bite, you'll be wary of dogs. My caution and exclusion is a rational form of self-defense--that one dog had better show some signs. Almost every PM I receive online is just from some random guy looking for an Internet girlfriend, and it doesn't matter which one as long as they'll put out.

That said, make sure you're not projecting or jealous over things like Facebook. Wanting attention on social media is a pretty innocent thing, just not to people who aren't getting it.

So what you are saying here is that girls should be allowed to shallowly flaunt themselves on social media but guys shouldn't privately contact them with shallow desires?