On loneliness...

awkwardamanda

Well-known member
This is TL;DR, but I thought it was interesting:
I'm lonely. Is that so odd? | Life and style | The Guardian

I think I'm going to have a life like that one day. Not the divorced, empty nester part, just the lonely introvert who doesn't like socializing part. I want to live alone, at least for a while, but there's a good chance that will go on too long or perhaps indefinitely. I want to have my own space and the freedom to do what I want, but I'm pretty sure that's going be lonely as hell at the same time. I won't get many calls or invitations. I have honestly worried that there might come a time when I'll have no one to call for help. The section on friends is spot-on; I have very few and it's impossible to make new ones. And of course I'll have a cat.
 
I couldn't stand living alone. I dread the day all my kids are grown and gone. More than that, I dread retirement and being home all day, every day, staring at the walls and at the wife, not saying anything but only staring at each other because we've covered every conversation topic over the last 50 years. Anyway, though, I would go absolutely crazy if I were as alone as that woman.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
I like living alone. I happiest in my own company. I can't be around people for long, before needing to escape on my own. I look forward to a time in my life, when I might be able to live an ever more solitary existence.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
This is TL;DR, but I thought it was interesting:
I'm lonely. Is that so odd? | Life and style | The Guardian
The article was a little bit all over the place. She's lonely but has family coming soon. She has no friends but then she says she does have friends. She has cool workmates but chooses not to associate with them outside work. She has many hobbies/volunteer jobs but doesn't meet anyone from there? The whole article didn't flow very well.

I couldn't stand living alone. I dread the day all my kids are grown and gone. More than that, I dread retirement and being home all day, every day, staring at the walls and at the wife, not saying anything but only staring at each other because we've covered every conversation topic over the last 50 years. Anyway, though, I would go absolutely crazy if I were as alone as that woman.

I like living alone. I happiest in my own company. I can't be around people for long, before needing to escape on my own. I look forward to a time in my life, when I might be able to live an ever more solitary existence.
jc972 and Kiwong: It's amazing how different the two of you are. It's cool, though. :)
 

Fighter86

Well-known member
I used to enjoy solitude when I was younger, but in recent years, have been incredibly lonely. My phone never rings, no one sends me texts either. The only comminication is with family, which rarely happens, no friends call to ask how I am, and no one to call either to ask how was their day.
 

awkwardamanda

Well-known member
I couldn't stand living alone. I dread the day all my kids are grown and gone. More than that, I dread retirement and being home all day, every day, staring at the walls and at the wife, not saying anything but only staring at each other because we've covered every conversation topic over the last 50 years. Anyway, though, I would go absolutely crazy if I were as alone as that woman.

Maybe once you're retired you could volunteer or find some new hobbies to keep yourself occupied. If I am ever married, I hope we can enjoy the silence together sometimes and not feel like we have spend every moment in a conversation. At the same time, I hope we would never feel like there was nothing more to say to each other.


The article was a little bit all over the place. She's lonely but has family coming soon. She has no friends but then she says she does have friends. She has cool workmates but chooses not to associate with them outside work. She has many hobbies/volunteer jobs but doesn't meet anyone from there? The whole article didn't flow very well.

She's lonely in the mean time until her kids get back and they won't be home forever. And they clearly don't talk to her much while away. As for friends, I think she means she's got a few distant friends (which is my situation). Not friends that she's super close with and spends a lot of time with. Maybe the few friends she has don't make up a group of friends. And maybe she isn't exactly choosing not to associate with her colleagues out of work. Just because you work with someone doesn't mean you're obligated to spend time with them outside of office hours or even comfortable inviting them out. Maybe they're too busy to get together for coffee. Maybe she gets along with them well at work, but they simply haven't developed friendships. It can feel like imposing to ask a favour of someone who isn't quite a friend. Same goes for the people she volunteers with or the ones in her choir. Maybe they get along, but those people are more like acquaintances, not the kind of people she has been able to really connect with. I'm only speculating. There are some unknowns here. But being surrounded by people isn't necessarily enough to quell the loneliness. There's still a void sometimes. You can be alone without feeling lonely and you can feel lonely without actually being alone.
 
Maybe once you're retired you could volunteer or find some new hobbies to keep yourself occupied. If I am ever married, I hope we can enjoy the silence together sometimes and not feel like we have spend every moment in a conversation. At the same time, I hope we would never feel like there was nothing more to say to each other.


I was joking, we talk quite a bit to each other. Probably always will. It's hard not to be talking to each other a lot when we have 3 kids. I plan to retire in 12 years, when I'm 40 so there will still be plenty to do. :bigsmile:
 

awkwardamanda

Well-known member
I was joking, we talk quite a bit to each other. Probably always will. It's hard not to be talking to each other a lot when we have 3 kids. I plan to retire in 12 years, when I'm 40 so there will still be plenty to do. :bigsmile:

You better have a wicked pension and savings!:thumbup:
 
Top