Gonna be like my mom/grandma... :(

MNM322

Well-known member
I fear I am gonna end up just like them. Don't get me wrong, they are nice people and pretty much the only family I talk to often.... but they are just so depressed with their lives and always bored.

Mom... she used to be alot funner, I remember so much as a kid, but then the last 10 years or so, she just started sitting around. daily... just watching tv or playing games on the computer. She does not have actual conversations with people anymore, I talk to her but its usually about the dogs or whatever she is watching. She is hard to really talk to about things that are important to me. She has seemingly chosen tv and computer as more important than us.

Grandma... now that she is retired, she just sits home all day with her dogs. I call her daily, just to keep her company. Usually we repeat the same chats but hey, she is nearing 80.... and she is just so sad. She never goes anywhere or does anything. Even her kids, other than my mom, don't talk to her except on Christmas. She has become a true "crazy dog lady" and has several dogs, dresses them all up in PJs every night and sweaters in the day etc... just a sad lonely person.

Now...Its taken me so long to realize I have SA issues and clearly they do, so I probably get it from them. My worry is that I am gonna be just like them, locked in a world of tv or computers and dressing my dogs.... now I don't have any real friends these days, I have people I talk to here and there but no one I call a friend. I don't get on with most my family and I have trust issues. I have never had a BF... or even a date! I currently live with my mom/dad/brothers and dogs. Am I doomed? Anyway to avoid this... I like my alone time and all but I don't wanna be older and miserable and sad.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
You are not doomed because you're realising that you don't want to be like them. Now is the time for you to have a look at what they're doing, what you don't want in yourself, and start preparing for changes.

Your mother and grandmother sound like my parents: they don't do anything. They sit around and play computer games or watch movies at night. They both still work, more so my dad, so I can understand them wanting down time, but they never go anywhere or do anything.

I don't want to end up like that, so I travel out to Sydney, go to gigs, holidays interstate if I can afford it, and so on. It's not much but I see them do nothing all the time and I don't want to end up like that.

For you, you can see what they're like, so there's no reason why you can't deviate. :)
 

Nathália

Well-known member
You don't have to go down that route. It's also not too late for your mother/grandmother if they have unresolved issues. Every day that everyone wakes up they can use that power to change directions with what their feeling. I know the stuck feeling and feeling hopeless, it's one feeling that one has to keep fighting, even though its very hard to.
 

MNM322

Well-known member
Oh I know I have time to change and all, I am just asking since I can't make/keep friends. I really don't have family I am close to, so already I feel really alone
I do things like travel and such sometimes, I like some tv but mostly hate it but I do sit online too much. I guess I just need some tips. I feel like such a outcast among my family, they are all the same, and in some ways I am too but I am also really not and thats what bugs me, I don't wanna be the same :)
 

laure15

Well-known member
Mom... she used to be alot funner, I remember so much as a kid, but then the last 10 years or so, she just started sitting around. daily... just watching tv or playing games on the computer. She does not have actual conversations with people anymore,

My mother, too, sits around all day and does things on the computer. She doesn't hang out with her friends, go to church or volunteer anymore.

I don't get on with most my family and I have trust issues. I have never had a BF... or even a date!

Same here, but relatives and romance don't bother me as much as they used to. I don't have to worry about attending crazy family gatherings or getting a date. I have less clutter in my life and my mind has never been clearer.
 

MNM322

Well-known member
Why do I say it? Everytime I meet someone and we seem to hit it off and are "friends" then something happens (usually something from me saying or doing something stupid) an we dont talk anymore, story of my life

I have no friends I can trust to talk to about anything. heck..I dont even have family for that
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
Why do I say it? Everytime I meet someone and we seem to hit it off and are "friends" then something happens (usually something from me saying or doing something stupid) an we dont talk anymore, story of my life

I have no friends I can trust to talk to about anything. heck..I dont even have family for that
Do you say anything that you think is offensive in some way? For it to happen all the time would be a bad coincidence.
 

MNM322

Well-known member
No, I am just annoying apparently and bad at reading people... so I cant tell if they are annoyed and just keep going on with my convos and such.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
No, I am just annoying apparently and bad at reading people... so I cant tell if they are annoyed and just keep going on with my convos and such.
I have that same issue, too - I feel like my conversations are annoying/boring but I keep rambling anyway.

The only way you'd know if your conversations are annoying to others is to ask them, but I can totally understand if you didn't want to do that!
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I have asked and people say no or they dont answer... so I assume its fine :(
Well, then it's fine. I'm not sure. I hope you find an answer soon. ::(: You don't seem like you do anything untoward to your friends, nor do you seem offensive/vulgar/otherwise unfriendly with people, so I'm not too sure what the issue could be.
 
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