Curing SAD-How I Cured Brain Fog
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xtina_fan81
Well-known member
I cant quite grasp the 3rd person thing, I understand the concept but I dont know exactly what im thinking and what I need to change. Is it that I simply need to stop thinking about what others are thinking about me? e.g a group discussion; i need to stop thinking "oh, everyones probably thinking im boring and stupid cos of what i did and didnt say?" and start just thinking about what I think about what im doing? or stop THINKING so much altogether.?
if someone could actually explain the thought process that is meant by 3rd person like with example, cause its hard for me to get my head around. :/
if someone could actually explain the thought process that is meant by 3rd person like with example, cause its hard for me to get my head around. :/
Anubis
Well-known member
I think he means that he first wants you to act like a person who doesn't care about the opinions of others. A lot of us should already have experience with this in front of our siblings. For me, I'm mostly indifferent about the opinions of my little sister so I can get pretty expressive with her. Of course, there's also a downside. I can get pretty condescending toward her and I'm also known to freely use swear words in her presence. That's just the inner-person I've developed after 23 years (and I'm not fond of it).
Once you have this down, and you've truly connected to the part of you that doesn't care about criticism, he says that you've found your "independent thought process". And only after you've found this independent thought process, can you then start to improve parts about yourself that you don't like. For example, I would improve on not being so quick to use swear words. This would make me feel more comfortable in the presence of others.
But I would still attempt to use the parts of my independent thought process that I liked (the natural expressiveness). I guess once you do this, you'll naturally know what to say because you're in first person. Of course, the hard part is forcing yourself to not go back to third-person. Hopefully by reminding yourself of the power of your independent thought, you can flawlessly switch back to first-person.
Once you have this down, and you've truly connected to the part of you that doesn't care about criticism, he says that you've found your "independent thought process". And only after you've found this independent thought process, can you then start to improve parts about yourself that you don't like. For example, I would improve on not being so quick to use swear words. This would make me feel more comfortable in the presence of others.
But I would still attempt to use the parts of my independent thought process that I liked (the natural expressiveness). I guess once you do this, you'll naturally know what to say because you're in first person. Of course, the hard part is forcing yourself to not go back to third-person. Hopefully by reminding yourself of the power of your independent thought, you can flawlessly switch back to first-person.
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scaredchild
New member
Before reading this post I didn't quite realise how to phrase what i wasn't happy about, but this really hit the nail on the head. I don't quite know how long this has been the case for me but I'm 19 now and don't actually remember having the independent thought process that i have had on occasions since reading this.
I read this post a few months ago and since then I've been bouncing between thinking in 3rd person and thinking in 1st person. This is a lot longer than I thought it was going to take and more often than not I'm still thinking in 3rd person. And even when I have my independent thought process in the back of my mind I'm still thinking about not thinking in 3rd person. It's been a struggle but I know this can work because on occasions I've actually felt like a different person. It's been nice. I have a question though, on average how long does it normally take to 'fix' yourself?
I read this post a few months ago and since then I've been bouncing between thinking in 3rd person and thinking in 1st person. This is a lot longer than I thought it was going to take and more often than not I'm still thinking in 3rd person. And even when I have my independent thought process in the back of my mind I'm still thinking about not thinking in 3rd person. It's been a struggle but I know this can work because on occasions I've actually felt like a different person. It's been nice. I have a question though, on average how long does it normally take to 'fix' yourself?
gustavofring
Well-known member
This kind of is similar to Eckhart Tolle's teaching about identification with the ego and identifying with "mind"-stories and how you can stop that with present moment awareness.
Old post but very helpful
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Old post but very helpful
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Canis lupus
Well-known member
I've read your posts and I'm glad it helped you and judging by some responds also some other people and I really hope it will help as many people as possible but I also want to point out one small problem with this I experienced myself. When I was a teen I also was much too worried what others thought of me and tried to be the person they wanted to be. When I was 22 or so I had a similar epiphany as you. I finally realized that no matter how hard I tried to be that person and no matter how much I did for everyone I still didn't get any respect. So around that age I told myself **** them all, I am who I am and if they can't accept it it will be their problem. It only took a couple months before practically everyone had left me. All my "friends", even the ones I saw almost daily, were gone. I ended up alone for several years. Even my own family didn't have any respct for me anymore and became very hostile towards the real me. So much that now I avoid them as much as possible and if I do have to meet them I just keep my mouth shut.
Now I'm trying to find people who are the same as me because they are the only ones that I can be somewhat myself with but it's really hard because of the simple fact there aren't that many. And when I do find someone than I'm so afraid of losing him or her that again I'm afraid of really being myself. So what I'm saying is you have to accept who you are or you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life, that's true but not caring what others think of you can be very dangerous aswell. It can go as far as death threats. Accepting yourself is one thing, being accepted by society for who you really are is a whole other thing.
Again I'm really glad it helped you and hope it will help others. I just wanted to point out that if you do try this then hold into consideration you might get very bad reactions from the people around you.
Now I'm trying to find people who are the same as me because they are the only ones that I can be somewhat myself with but it's really hard because of the simple fact there aren't that many. And when I do find someone than I'm so afraid of losing him or her that again I'm afraid of really being myself. So what I'm saying is you have to accept who you are or you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life, that's true but not caring what others think of you can be very dangerous aswell. It can go as far as death threats. Accepting yourself is one thing, being accepted by society for who you really are is a whole other thing.
Again I'm really glad it helped you and hope it will help others. I just wanted to point out that if you do try this then hold into consideration you might get very bad reactions from the people around you.
Falkor
1
Hey, great post. You seem very interesting and hard working. A strong mind. I really want to know more bout this third-person thinking. I'm kind of confused. I know I look a lot through others eyes at me, though. All the time basically. Like when I was in the bus today, I thought they looked at me when I was looking at the phone, that they could see what I was typing, that I was nervous, that I was awkward. So my SA keeps on going. But it's very hard to look for myself. When I'm feeling so uncomfy. ::
Also, I realise that your post makes a lot of sense. Though it's still hard as a heavy introvert like another one described, I can very much agree with him that it's so hard to change. I really WANT TO THOUGH. Hmm... well, I will print your posts though. You are a very strong person, very clever and so bright. I hope you can help people with SA more in the future as a career, you would be doing an awesome job.
I've got a few questions about your post....
1.Can you give an example of a social situation, how to stop thinking in the 3rd person perspective? It would help me more.
2.Are you totally cured, and are you able to feel more positive?
3.Did it help with your self esteem ?
4.Do you still care what people think ?
5.Can you tell me more bout the magical ingredient ?
:Also, I realise that your post makes a lot of sense. Though it's still hard as a heavy introvert like another one described, I can very much agree with him that it's so hard to change. I really WANT TO THOUGH. Hmm... well, I will print your posts though. You are a very strong person, very clever and so bright. I hope you can help people with SA more in the future as a career, you would be doing an awesome job.
I've got a few questions about your post....
1.Can you give an example of a social situation, how to stop thinking in the 3rd person perspective? It would help me more.
2.Are you totally cured, and are you able to feel more positive?
3.Did it help with your self esteem ?
4.Do you still care what people think ?
5.Can you tell me more bout the magical ingredient ?
Tulicks
Well-known member
Wow that was an excellent read. I never looked at it that way before. That's exactly what I'm doing, I'm looking at me through the eyes of the person I am interacting with, which is making me feel judged and made to feel inferior because I'm picking out the things that I don't like about myself. It's great to know that this "independent" thought process can be obtained. My question is how do you undo the third-person processor? What types of exercises must be done?
Lea
Banned
You´d need to regress to a primitive animal-like state.. animals are not aware of themselves like beings separated from their environment and from others - just act spontaneously on how they feel. Not bad by animals. But if a human is like that and doesn´t cultivate their personality and expression, he will probably turn out to be immature, selfish, inconsiderate, unreliable, unpredictable.. just generally uncultivated. You couldn´t depend on them, as they´d act only on their whims and primitive instincts, ego needs..
I think every intelligent person is and should be aware of themselves as separate beings and there is nothing wrong with being aware that others are perceiving us. It seems to me the OP is just mixing together 2 unrelated things (like this often happens on this forum). Probably what he wanted to say is just to be spontaneous. A revelation!! It´s as if he would say "if you´re shy, just don´t be shy". Easy isn´t it. Just snap out of it. But if it was so easy many of us would have done it long ago. The only thing I personally learned is not to calculate things ahead too much, rehearse what I´m going to say if making a phonecall etc. I learned to be spontaneous in such things. But these are just minor things. The main problem, my shyness, awkwardness, panic attacks etc. these will never go away no matter what some smart ass who never really had it says.
IMO real shyness is a trait of autism spectrum disorders, if he says he can cure it, he´s better than many professionals who can´t even do it themselves.
scaredchild
New member
There may be more than one way which a person sees in third person, personally, this is how I do. When I'm alone it's as if memories flood my mind, but with each memory there is something I don't like about the way I acted or don't like what I said, so I change it. If I'm with anyone, whether it be one or a group, it feels as though I'm being judged by everyone.
I know, however, that this disappears once I gain my independent thought process. It's a lot of hard work but when this permanent 'change' takes place, if it takes place, I know it would be hard work paid off.
I really would like to know though, if anyone has experienced a permanent 'change', how long it took you to stop thinking in third person and to gain your independent thought process and if there's any other techniques other than just stopping thinking in third person that could help?
I know, however, that this disappears once I gain my independent thought process. It's a lot of hard work but when this permanent 'change' takes place, if it takes place, I know it would be hard work paid off.
I really would like to know though, if anyone has experienced a permanent 'change', how long it took you to stop thinking in third person and to gain your independent thought process and if there's any other techniques other than just stopping thinking in third person that could help?
I find this nonsense, research points that social anxiety disorder the amygdala has a higher then normal activation also social phobics show abnormalities in the early visual processing of angry faces, most of these memories are stored subconsciously which is connected with the conscious mind, so if you like it or not you will display anxious behavior and physical manifestations of anxiety & stress which in turn leads to think the people you talk to see this symptoms and will think negatively about you... so you desperatly try to behave normal because of the crippling anxiety .... ..... so saying being your self is like saying being the anxious self, which makes no sense because one can't be themself if they are fight-or- flight situation....if a tiger is before your face nobody can hold down a good conversation and act in normal way like they do without the tiger.
Generalized social anxiety disorder can't never be cured, you can't delete those memories which are stored subconsciously which act faster then your conscious mind, when you think that you think have made a independent choice like buying a ice cream your subconscious has already made the choice few seconds before you even thought about it...it all has been studied. To slow down the activation from the amygdala either one needs medication or replace those thoughts with healthy ones so over time you get next to the bad memories positive memories which creates more of balance subconsciously so the activation of the amydgala get lessened which means fewer psychical symptoms and that takes years if ever those bad and good will always fight between eachtother the only thing you can do is manage it.
The thing you say about being your self seems to me just as placebo effect which also cause a reduction in the amydala activation which isn't that weird if you think its helping you worry less about that you can't do its a different coping mechanisme....but better then cbt and medication I doubt it. generalized anxiety disorder is so much more then just being yourself, ever walked inside a supermarket and it seems everyone is watching you.. I don't talk to anyone I don't need to act or something or to behave differently just walk I am being my self... the anxiety doensn't get away, I am my self but just my anxious self , when I drink booze or benzo I will say and many more here feel more normal but im still my self only with less inhibition. probably most people here have lost touch with there non-anxiety normal selfs afters years or lifetime anxiety and don't even know how they would act and think in situations when they wouldn't be anxious to me it happens only with some booze and benzos and then im still not very close. does that make sense ?
Generalized social anxiety disorder can't never be cured, you can't delete those memories which are stored subconsciously which act faster then your conscious mind, when you think that you think have made a independent choice like buying a ice cream your subconscious has already made the choice few seconds before you even thought about it...it all has been studied. To slow down the activation from the amygdala either one needs medication or replace those thoughts with healthy ones so over time you get next to the bad memories positive memories which creates more of balance subconsciously so the activation of the amydgala get lessened which means fewer psychical symptoms and that takes years if ever those bad and good will always fight between eachtother the only thing you can do is manage it.
The thing you say about being your self seems to me just as placebo effect which also cause a reduction in the amydala activation which isn't that weird if you think its helping you worry less about that you can't do its a different coping mechanisme....but better then cbt and medication I doubt it. generalized anxiety disorder is so much more then just being yourself, ever walked inside a supermarket and it seems everyone is watching you.. I don't talk to anyone I don't need to act or something or to behave differently just walk I am being my self... the anxiety doensn't get away, I am my self but just my anxious self , when I drink booze or benzo I will say and many more here feel more normal but im still my self only with less inhibition. probably most people here have lost touch with there non-anxiety normal selfs afters years or lifetime anxiety and don't even know how they would act and think in situations when they wouldn't be anxious to me it happens only with some booze and benzos and then im still not very close. does that make sense ?
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