Getting in touch again with family after depression and social anxiety?

[gustavofring]

Right now I haven't had contact with what's left of my family for almost a year. I even forgot to wish people well on their birthday because of my ongoing problems and haven't replied to some facebook messages. I can't even explain why. They must think I am a horrible person who doesn't care.

I am thinking about sending a mail, to explain the situation and hoping to regain contact with them. I totally don't know how to go about it. There is a lot of shame involved on my part, and fear of their reaction. Also fear of over-dramatizing it.

Should I be casual about it and just ask if they want to meet or should I make a big mail in which I explain the situation? I just feel so alienated from them, and explaining my problems will probably only alienate me further.

I can't live on like this. I feel like I have tried to escape life for so long. Pretending for myself that everything is okay, while my life, both study and social life have all gone to hell. I feel like I have to build everything up again from scratch and have to bite through my pride and self denial (acceptance) at the risk of coming across as a mental wreck.

 

[CrazyGirl]

I can't live on like this. I feel like I have tried to escape life for so long. Pretending for myself that everything is okay, while my life, both study and social life have all gone to hell. I feel like I have to build everything up again from scratch and have to bite through my pride and self denial (acceptance) at the risk of coming across as a mental wreck.

Sounds like me so I think about wanting to die everyday because of my mental issues and running from life for soooo long

 

[gustavofring]

I guess the only way for us is to face it, head on. It's either face the problems, and try to deal with them or continue running away, pretending, and fading away into a miserable, lonely, unfilfilling existence full of problems.

It will require action, and a lot of fear, pain and shame to bite through, but it needs to be done. No more escaping or denial.

 

[A86]

I'd go with the big email explaining everything. sure you will have to endure coming across as a mental wreck, which can be quite tough, and usually enough of a reason to avoid.
however in my experience, after a few months or so, when all the family gossip gets out of their system, their comes a point where they get used to your behavior, and it becomes normal to them and thus they become more accepting to you. in turn this makes you less anxious and more relaxed.

its just the time it takes for your exposure to become normal to them, it was a real nightmare during that time, however I have no regrets looking back.

 

[coyote]

Right now I haven't had contact with what's left of my family for almost a year. I even forgot to wish people well on their birthday because of my ongoing problems and haven't replied to some facebook messages. I can't even explain why. They must think I am a horrible person who doesn't care.

I am thinking about sending a mail, to explain the situation and hoping to regain contact with them. I totally don't know how to go about it. There is a lot of shame involved on my part, and fear of their reaction. Also fear of over-dramatizing it.

Should I be casual about it and just ask if they want to meet or should I make a big mail in which I explain the situation? I just feel so alienated from them, and explaining my problems will probably only alienate me further.

I can't live on like this. I feel like I have tried to escape life for so long. Pretending for myself that everything is okay, while my life, both study and social life have all gone to hell. I feel like I have to build everything up again from scratch and have to bite through my pride and self denial (acceptance) at the risk of coming across as a mental wreck.

i could have written this myself - except it's been much, much longer

the longer it gets, the more difficult it becomes

and it doesn't help that they don't try to contact me

i imagine they simply don't care anymore

 

[gustavofring]

I've already heard that my brother and sister think I'm completely uninterested in them, which was my wakeup call. It's almost like they cannot fathom the idea of what a depression is, and just see me as a big stuckup. And I fully understand why. That's the problem of not communicating with people..

There's a lot more to it then that of course, but I won't go into that. Luckily I don't have that much family (a curse as well as a blessing) so I won't face as much gossip and being made the black sheep or weirdo as people with a big family.

 

[Section_31]

I would go the letter route IMO. That will give you time to really get your feelings out and articulate them in the way you want them to come out, vs trying to think on the spot or remember what you wanted to say when yuo are face to face with them.

Its never too late, blood is thicker than water. Dont give up and keep us posted.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Hi gustavofring-I was wondering how you're doing with this? Did you email them and if so what happened?

 

[gustavofring]

Yeah I got back in touch. Not with everyone yet though. I feel like I need to finish my grad project first because I know they will ask questions and judge me for still not having finished. Stubborn, I know.