What's worst- awkward silence or your SA?

[scardy cat]

Either way, I think they both add to the phobia. But which is worst for you?

I always try to have a safety person around when I'm interacting because of my new acquired social phobia. It helps take the edge off knowing that I know someone and it helps with the physical tension I feel in these situations. However, I can't be glued to this person!

So after begging your safety person to 'hold it' and not leave you alone to go to the bathroom (lol) they inevitably go and you're left there in the spotlight.

So what's worst, the silence that lingers after their departure where everyone is kinda just doing the '"soo... how bout them Yankees"- hand in pocket- shrugging- looking around- bit'? Or is it worst to speak out in a trembling voice about a topic which the people may or may NOT relate to?

I usually try to speak up in the awkward silent moments since there's always chance I might nail the conversation... but it usually ends up with the group turning into one another and having their own little spin off conversations. I feel mortified and excuse myself from the event and LEAVE. With or without my safety net (he can stay if he wants). I become so self aware and get tensed and can't relax.

See... I try...

 

[LonelyWonders]

I think my anxiety, because awkward silence is painful, but for me it's not that bad. Just feels weird...

 

[Kiwong]

Aren't they joined at the hip? Awkward silences are communication problems triggered by anxiety.

 

[scardy cat]

Aren't they joined at the hip? Awkward silences are communication problems triggered by anxiety.

I agree that they are joined at the hip. But my anxiety is triggered more when there is awkward silence. If I'm able to turn the awkward silence into a flowing conversation, it'll ease my tension (and minimize the blushing, I'm sure). Awkward silence is worst for me because I start to feel pressure that exacerbates the anxiety.

 

[Falkor]

I think SA is the bastard here, awkward silences happen to every single person.

 

[SJG74006]

Awkward silences are definately something I dread, especially when I meet someone I don't see often. To me, it has been the main reason for my SA. In fact, recently I stated quite clearly to one of my acquantancies that I refused to meet him anymore because I had trouble keeping the conversation going. He of course said that it didn't matter. And I quickly realised that it wasn't the important thing: it is more important to feel comfortable in someone else's company that silences become irrelevant - you don't even notice them. This only comes with time. Awkward silences have never been an issue with members of my own family.

Imagine a long journey. I used to meet my friend and meet him in London. We would travel on the Underground to our destination and with all the noise it is difficult to be heard, let alone keep a conversation going. I used to notice the silences on the journey out but after a day in each other's company, the silences on the return were less noticeable.

Unfortunately being self-aware is the reason for my 'awkward silences' If I do something or am experiencing something where I 'lose myself' then the tension usually disappears.