How are you feeling?

Deus_Ex_Lemur

Deus_Ex_Lemur

Well-known member
Waiting for my night class, 7-10pm 3 hour health class... I have the WORST stomach ache and nausea I think food poisoning. Have to show to the class. And I have a 40 minute commute back home. I need depends.

Blahhhdwdbnwjnd.
 
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Beatrice

Guest
Terrible horrible. So many pressures and anxiety-provoking situations and people and issues. I can't take it. I really don't want to live any more but I have no choice. ughhhh :(
 
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Beatrice

Guest
leave_me_alone said:
Same here. My mind is so busy it is killing me. I just want it to stop :(.
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:( I'm sorry to hear that. What exactly is busy about it?

For me I am just so angry at these people I live with and have to deal with, but I don't know how to best handle the situation and tied up with my feelings of anger and resentment and bitterness are feelings of guilt, a TON of anxiety, everything. These are my GRANDPARENTS and AUNT, and my grandfather is acting like my father, and my aunt is acting like a catty high schooler! It's INSANE. It's DRIVING me insane. I feel so overwhelmed with my life, so ****ing depressed, and they don't even understand my depression and anxiety and so they judge, judge JUDGE. I HATE THEM. I HATE THEM. I don't WANT them at my college graduation, I don't want them at my wedding. My aunt's certainly not getting an invitation. But if I don't invite them to anything I'll get chewed out. Oh well, better to get chewed out and be done with 'em then to have momentary peace and have to put up with their **** forever, right??? Ughhhh, sooooooooo upset I just don't know what to dooooo :'( :mad:
 
planemo

planemo

Well-known member
flu is still lingering in me. it's not serious but i wake up every morning with a blocked nose and feeling a little down.
 
leave_me_alone

leave_me_alone

Well-known member
Beatrice said:
:( I'm sorry to hear that. What exactly is busy about it?

For me I am just so angry at these people I live with and have to deal with, but I don't know how to best handle the situation and tied up with my feelings of anger and resentment and bitterness are feelings of guilt, a TON of anxiety, everything. These are my GRANDPARENTS and AUNT, and my grandfather is acting like my father, and my aunt is acting like a catty high schooler! It's INSANE. It's DRIVING me insane. I feel so overwhelmed with my life, so ****ing depressed, and they don't even understand my depression and anxiety and so they judge, judge JUDGE. I HATE THEM. I HATE THEM. I don't WANT them at my college graduation, I don't want them at my wedding. My aunt's certainly not getting an invitation. But if I don't invite them to anything I'll get chewed out. Oh well, better to get chewed out and be done with 'em then to have momentary peace and have to put up with their **** forever, right??? Ughhhh, sooooooooo upset I just don't know what to dooooo :'( :mad:
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Negative thoughts racing thru my head like crazy. I cant focus on anything or even relax. On top of that i will have my final bc exams next month, that means talking in front of commission of 5 people and i am replaying the scenarios of my failed and embarassing verbal exams from the past. My family makes me hate myself even more. Just recently i'v been yelled at by my mom how lazy, childish and spoiled i am in front of other family members - just what i need for my anxiety. Nobody knows about my SA, so i am being judged 24/7.

Yeah, family can be PITA. My grandfather is a drunk and every single time we visit, he asks me the same question - if i have a girlfriend, and when i say no, he asks "why". He doesnt even know how old i am or what i am studying, but he HAS to ask me this. Only thing that keeps me from telling him to **** off is respect to my grandmom.
 
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Beatrice

Guest
leave_me_alone said:
Negative thoughts racing thru my head like crazy. I cant focus on anything or even relax. On top of that i will have my final bc exams next month, that means talking in front of commission of 5 people and i am replaying the scenarios of my failed and embarassing verbal exams from the past. My family makes me hate myself even more. Just recently i'v been yelled at by my mom how lazy, childish and spoiled i am in front of other family members - just what i need for my anxiety. Nobody knows about my SA, so i am being judged 24/7.

Yeah, family can be PITA. My grandfather is a drunk and every single time we visit, he asks me the same question - if i have a girlfriend, and when i say no, he asks "why". He doesnt even know how old i am or what i am studying, but he HAS to ask me this. Only thing that keeps me from telling him to **** off is respect to my grandmom.
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Aw :( I'm sorry. I guess I should keep in mind I'm not the only one with serious family issues. The sucky things about having horrible family members is that they don't go AWAY. Because they're related to you and so connected to you in a way that others are not, it's harder to deal with them, IMO, when they are awful people.
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
Beatrice said:
Aw :( I'm sorry. I guess I should keep in mind I'm not the only one with serious family issues. The sucky things about having horrible family members is that they don't go AWAY. Because they're related to you and so connected to you in a way that others are not, it's harder to deal with them, IMO, when they are awful people.
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you can always just move far away and ignore them

I've done that several times

now I have no family
 
leave_me_alone

leave_me_alone

Well-known member
I could do that, but i would loose family members that i love too. And yeah, it is complicated.

To say it boldly, i have to deal with them pretty much until they die.
 
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Beatrice

Guest
leave_me_alone said:
I could do that, but i would loose family members that i love too. And yeah, it is complicated.

To say it boldly, i have to deal with them pretty much until they die.
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Yes, exactly. Waiting for my grandparents to kick the bucket, as sad and cruel-sounding as that is.
 
Deus_Ex_Lemur

Deus_Ex_Lemur

Well-known member
I'd love to respond to some ppl and threads, but I cant help myself at the moment so how can I "help" others, whether being positive, what I believe, or being my wierd quirky, silly/goofy/jest self. I obviously have my olwn issues but hate feeling sorry for myself and being a ****ing **** **** **** ****er idiot **** with **** for ****. (if you can fill in those asterisk's correctly you win a coupon to Applebees). Seriously tho. I should probably get off my ass and try to do something about feeling this way. Blahhharrrg. Gosh darn it, this chair wont let me leave... =/
 
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Beatrice

Guest
Wow. Well. I, um, talked to my grandfather. Things are a little better now. At least they're not depressing and full of anxiety, like they were before. *phew* Now I just have to deal with my guilt.

It was kind of amazing, though. I mean the way I responded. He started yelling at me, as I thought he would, and I just stayed calm (outwardly). My heart was pounding and I got all the physical distress I usually do, but I just stayed calm and talked more slowly so I could think through what I was saying, and speak clearly. And I chose not to respond to things that were meant to rile me up. I think it worked VERY well, and ended up dissolving into a sane conversation. Feeling pretty good about that.
 
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Beatrice

Guest
MidnightStar said:
Depressed. I don't really remember ever feeling this bad. I know I need to make a few changes in my life in order to make things better, but I've got no idea where to start.
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Do you mind listing some of those? Unless you don't want to post them here, I understand. Because I was just going to try to offer some advice if I could.
 
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Beatrice

Guest
MidnightStar said:
Well I just feel so stuck in life. I hate where I live, and need to get out, but I don't how. Every time I start making progress, my anxiety acts up again then I give up for a while because I feel too overwhelmed. A driver's license would be a nice start, but I'd have to take the test in the busiest part of town, and I'm afraid I'd get so nervous that I'd pass out behind the wheel. :/
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Aww. I'm sorry :( I wonder if you could find a SA group in your area? Try meds? Wish I could help. If I lived near you I def would :) but me saying it doesn't do anything for you, I know.
 
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