Body Dysmorphic Disorder...

[Polly_Princess]

All my psychological problems started with an eating disorder and I'm now wondering if I have ended up with Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

I'm constantly looking at myself, picking out flaws, trying to correct them and hide them and worrying constantly if anyone else has noticed them. I feel so so so ugly and fat, and have felt like this for years, which has lead to serious self-esteem issues. I know in my rational mind that I must be at least ok looking, because I receive a fair bit of male attention and people often say that I'm pretty.

But all I can see if is a fat, ugly, unattractive blob. BDD??

 

[Lea]

Post your pic.

 

[Remus]

I think posting a pic looking for praise makes little difference, with BDD you have have a thousand people say you are beautiful and one say you are ugly, you believe the one

 

[Feathers]

Well, possibly.

The way I see it, if you think you might have it, research it and look for possible helpful treatments/interventions. That's why I look at stuff on OCD and ADD forums even though I'm not 100% sure I have either of those.. Some really helpful things can be found on both..
So maybe check for some BDD forums or info and see if you could find what could help?

For me, it helped when I had a boyfriend, cause I sorta felt beautiful then.. Or when I was doing interesting things unrelated to outlook, things I really believed in or had fun with.. Like doing things with friends or volunteering or going to cool classes/workshops.. where it wasn't important how you look..

 

[Waybuloo]

Well, possibly.

The way I see it, if you think you might have it, research it and look for possible helpful treatments/interventions. That's why I look at stuff on OCD and ADD forums even though I'm not 100% sure I have either of those.. Some really helpful things can be found on both..
So maybe check for some BDD forums or info and see if you could find what could help?

For me, it helped when I had a boyfriend, cause I sorta felt beautiful then.. Or when I was doing interesting things unrelated to outlook, things I really believed in or had fun with.. Like doing things with friends or volunteering or going to cool classes/workshops.. where it wasn't important how you look..

True, you get lost in the moment, you have fun and you also realise what life is about. The distortion in thinking that you exhibit does sound like BDD, or at the very least a form of OCD in negative thinking. I have tried looking at BDD forums but people can get very negative and sometimes the last thing I need is an environment to vent more about how badly I see myself.

 

[Jake123]

I have BDD

 

[Feathers]

I have BDD

Jake you gorgeous you??

--is shocked--

I bet Polly_Princess is a looker too!!

I wonder if people don't really have BDD first, and develop eating disorders at least partly as a result of that?
(I have a friend who's had an eating disorder and thinks she's fat again and she's thin!!)

 

[Feathers]

True, you get lost in the moment, you have fun and you also realise what life is about. The distortion in thinking that you exhibit does sound like BDD, or at the very least a form of OCD in negative thinking. I have tried looking at BDD forums but people can get very negative and sometimes the last thing I need is an environment to vent more about how badly I see myself.

Waybuloo, good to know about the forums. I was wondering if they're worth to take a look?
Some interesting forums just have sort of negative people there.. Some also change in a few years or so, when new people get there, or one's perspective changes, or they get better mods..

I wonder if any PTSD forums are any good too?

 

[Waybuloo]

Jake you gorgeous you??

--is shocked--

I bet Polly_Princess is a looker too!!

I wonder if people don't really have BDD first, and develop eating disorders at least partly as a result of that?
(I have a friend who's had an eating disorder and thinks she's fat again and she's thin!!)

BDD is not related to how someone actually looks. All the BDD sufferers i've come across have been gorgeous. If anything looking good can build up an expectation that is detrimental to self perception. BDD doesn't have to accompany an eating disorder. Mine doesn't.

 

[Feathers]

BDD is not related to how someone actually looks. All the BDD sufferers i've come across have been gorgeous. If anything looking good can build up an expectation that is detrimental to self perception. BDD doesn't have to accompany an eating disorder. Mine doesn't.

Yeah, I know. My body is not technically perfect though, and I don't photograph that well, he he.. I've been asked 'Oh you could be a model then' and it really sucks (because you know you couldn't be, and that person just commented on some aspect like height or such...??)

I've never had an eating disorder either. (Though some people thought I might have had it, cause I was rather skinny...)

I was just shocked that Jake of all people could have it-?? Cause he really doesn't look like a person who could, and well, aren't people with BDD shy about posting their photos? (Me confused, a bit.)

Edited to add: You're totally cute in the pics too, am shocked you've had it too??

 

[Waybuloo]

Yeah, I know. My body is not technically perfect though, and I don't photograph that well, he he.. I've been asked 'Oh you could be a model then' and it really sucks (because you know you couldn't be, and that person just commented on some aspect like height or such...??)

I've never had an eating disorder either. (Though some people thought I might have had it, cause I was rather skinny...)

I was just shocked that Jake of all people could have it-?? Cause he really doesn't look like a person who could, and well, aren't people with BDD shy about posting their photos? (Me confused, a bit.)

Edited to add: You're totally cute in the pics too, am shocked you've had it too??

About the posting photos thing, it depends on what the subject of someone's BDD is, some people could think they are utterly ugly whereas others have specific concerns like skin, moles, eyebrows, nose or something that you could hide or manipulate with certain angles in a photo.

I don't think I am ugly in general but I do think about a specific feature 24/7 and get obsessive about it. I am insanely self conscious when face to face with a person, it's just crazy, and illogical, but it is like an automatic response that I cannot block.

 

[Waybuloo]

Waybuloo, good to know about the forums. I was wondering if they're worth to take a look?
Some interesting forums just have sort of negative people there.. Some also change in a few years or so, when new people get there, or one's perspective changes, or they get better mods..

I wonder if any PTSD forums are any good too?

I was sort of subscribed to these Yahoo or Google groups on BDD, it was such a long time ago though. At the beginning of joining it is reassuring to know there are others that feel as you do, irrational as it is, but after a while there aren't anything new you could gleam from it. I jsut sort of moved on and tried to think about other things. And as I got older I didn't care as much about it as I used to.

I suppose people who join forums come and go after a while, and you get a whole different dynamic with the comings and the goings.

I've not investigated any PTSD forums but i'm sure it's out there since it's quite a common affliction. Do you suffer from PTSD? I do think a lot of disorders have overlapping sympetoms, like OCD, BDD, SA, PTSD...Sometimes I'm not so keen on having an diagnosis because I can get pedantic and perfectionistic and wound up more confused lol. Othertimes i'm desperate for a diagnosis just to know exactly what it is that knaws at me.

You sound quite positive and upbeat, what is your secret lol?

 

[Jake123]

The masochistic part of me posts pictures because it wants people to acknowledge how I feel about myself, I want people to agree that I'm ugly and fat etc. but I guess a small part of me wants to maybe have my thoughts dispelled by compliments, however hard they may be for me to believe. BDD is actually a growing epidemic for males, due to the "adonis complex" and males being given as much media exposure and attention to their appearance as women these days. I personally feel that I'm ugly, overweight, and not muscular enough.

 

[Remus]

You and me don't get along Jake, it is not in my interest to score any points to my advantage, I can tell you with all honesty that you are a very handsome chap and how you percieve yourself is distorted.

I know BDD though and you probably think I'm full of it or trying to make such a comment to lead to my advantage in some way.

If anyone is really truthfully ugly, does it really impact so much on your life? There are ugly famous people and it never seemed to hold them back.

 

[Waybuloo]

You and me don't get along Jake, it is not in my interest to score any points to my advantage, I can tell you with all honesty that you are a very handsome chap and how you percieve yourself is distorted.

I know BDD though and you probably think I'm full of it or trying to make such a comment to lead to my advantage in some way.

If anyone is really truthfully ugly, does it really impact so much on your life? There are ugly famous people and it never seemed to hold them back.

It does matter if that someone defines a major chunk of their self worth from their looks, not so much if they occupy their life and mind with hobbies, knowledge, friendship, work, family etc. So... it is all in the mind.

 

[Feathers]

Great thread!

Thanks for the info, Waybuloo! Yeah, some people on forums come and go (sometimes I do too ) and some forums after a while don't offer that much new.. Yeah, I think I may have some PTSD too (though not so much anymore, not as much as some people on the PTSD forums - I dared take a look yesterday, and some really have big problems..)

I agree that some of these things can overlap, or it may be difficult to tell 'what came first' or what was secondary.. And what would be good to get rid of first.. I can get a bit obsessed with researching certain things, and then just sort of not want to look at those sites or info again, lol..

I'm actually very surprised that I come across as that upbeat lol!!

I guess I'm just soo happy that I found these forums where people have some similar problems as I do.. I'm often quite miserable and depressed too, but maybe it doesn't show if I'm excited and enthusiastic about the subject matter? (Have I mentioned I live in the middle of nowhere where contact with intelligent life is limited??:

You sound quite positive and upbeat, what is your secret lol?

 

[Feathers]

The masochistic part of me posts pictures because it wants people to acknowledge how I feel about myself, I want people to agree that I'm ugly and fat etc. but I guess a small part of me wants to maybe have my thoughts dispelled by compliments, however hard they may be for me to believe. BDD is actually a growing epidemic for males, due to the "adonis complex" and males being given as much media exposure and attention to their appearance as women these days. I personally feel that I'm ugly, overweight, and not muscular enough.

Jake you do look a tiny bit dorky in some of the photos if that helps?? But you're aboslutely gorgeous in 99% of them!!

If you do work out this could help with the muscular thing.. I'm always amazed how you're surrounded with those supermodel type of girls too - are you in college or just going to a lot of parties or something? (It amazes me how people partying so much can even have SA and be on a SA site?)

I guess it's even harder in the gay world (if you REALLY are gay-?? still NOT sure!!) the looks can be even more important.. Whereas regular guys, once they get married or something (or even sooner) don' mind getting a belly and getting bald... I've seen it all the time..
(Besides, a friend says everyone is gay at around 20 or before-?? huh??)

 

[Feathers]

If anyone is really truthfully ugly, does it really impact so much on your life? There are ugly famous people and it never seemed to hold them back.

Well, I read that people who are not even on the border of 'beautiful' can accept their looks sooner and not be so demanding to themselves etc.
I've also seen a few guys totally okay with how they looked, some even got more handsome as they grew older, became Dads etc.
One guy was totally 'nothing special' (no money, no looks, etc) and a most beautiful girl was totally in love with him - so huh??

A friend says there are no ugly people and just different levels of attractiveness - you are attractive to whom, not just in empty space, people have different opinions in what they find attractive.. (She has guys chasing her all the time, some of those are not conventionally attractive and some are very, so hmm.. She may even dislike the really handsome ones more, at times-??)

I'm really intrigued with 'ugly famous people' - while this is still totally relative (and not really politically correct to say it!), maybe they think they are gorgeous themselves? Or just don't care? Or just had great self esteem from other areas or people around them?

 

[theslowesthand]

All my psychological problems started with an eating disorder and I'm now wondering if I have ended up with Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

I'm constantly looking at myself, picking out flaws, trying to correct them and hide them and worrying constantly if anyone else has noticed them. I feel so so so ugly and fat, and have felt like this for years, which has lead to serious self-esteem issues. I know in my rational mind that I must be at least ok looking, because I receive a fair bit of male attention and people often say that I'm pretty.

But all I can see if is a fat, ugly, unattractive blob. BDD??

If you want a yes/no answer, then YES, you have BDD. I should know as i have had it for as long as i can remember (since early childhood).
Of course there are degrees of everything in everything, and a degree of severity of your BDD, which only you can work out.

Having BDD is VERY stressful, as you have endless frustrations & contradictions & swinging back-and-forth. As soon as you think you've "accepted" sth (as the truth), then it becomes the exact opposite (etc).

I don't really know how to cure it (but there probably are therapies which succesfully deal with such deep-rooted issues out there somewhere).

But i do know some ways to manage it.

These are a few techniques i have learnt (the hard way!), which have helped to lessen the constant mental/emotional stress caused by BDD:
- Don't trust your rational mind, and don't trust your irrational mind (if that makes sense), as both of them fluctuate bewteen truth & lies.
- Accept that you'll never understand/get/comprehend your body/looks accurately/correctly
- Think more Eastern-like (contradictions; Yin AND Yang, Yes AND No)
- GIVE UP trying to "fix your body" - IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN; it will just stress & frustrate & infuriate you. And if it bothers you (& it almost certainly does!) that you can't "fix" your body, then treat it like any other problem you can't fix - IGNORE/EVADE it (ie avoid mirrors/reflections - strong willpower is needed here)

These techniques have worked for me, and i very seldom suffer from my BDD. They might also work you you & others (?)

 

[Feathers]

Found a cool book on BDD (at least it looks like it!) on SAS forums: Feeling Good About the Way You Look by Sabine Wilhelm PhD
Amazon.com: Feeling Good about the Way You Look: A Program for Overcoming Body Image Problems (9781572307308): Sabine Wilhelm PhD: Books (if you ever ordered anything from Amazon before, you can read quite a lot of it..)

Has anyone read it? (It seems to take the CBT/ERP approach, but with regard to BDD specifically)