Hey, I really need your help. There are people at school that make me so angry, bullies. Sometimes it happens to me, but not often, and i really want to stand up for myself but i can't, when it comes to fighting, i always back away but i dont want to. It's so embarrassing, When i get really angry with someone or something i cry and shiver not because im upset though, i think...
But anyway, when im in a situation where i need to stick up for myself i just cant do it, I want to fight just to make them stop. Please help..
Thankyou
You're 15... I was about 15 or 16 when I put an end to all the major bullying which had been going on since i was 5 (by the same person who used to try convince me she was my best friend)...
Please don't let it go on much longer!!
I know its hard to tell somebody and the words "I'm being bullied" have never been known to come out of my mouth. I used to always just say "We're fighting.." I never told anybody the extent to the way this girl and everyone else in the school treated me and were slowly killing me.
It was never physical bullying - always verbal and mental - then there was the fact this girl and my boyfriend at the time (when i was 16/17) got really close just in spite of me! She also used to spread a lot of sick embarrassing rumours. Told people that I tried to hang myself, had lice, and told every guy I was interested in that I wet myself in school!! Then got with my ex (after practically stalking him), and told me he said i was a sh*t kisser!! I'd much rather be beaten to a pulp than put up with the stuff she did to me..
I never admitted to being bullied and got really defensive when that word was used. But it became obvious when eventually i was coming home from school in tears every day.
Wanna know what I did?
I left!
Here's my story - dont read the lot if ya don't want
The day i decided im definitely going to leave was when the girl wrote a letter to me, and insulted my weight. There was something about the teacher that I'd wrote in there too. We were on "good terms" that day... Anyway the teacher brought the letter to the office and we got called up. We were put in two seperate rooms and then i was brought into the room she was in. I told them my side of the story and she started crying (pretending obviously), so I was made out to be the guilty one, just 'cause the vice principal hated me! Charzilla, was the name this girl called me in the letter - embarrassing and hurtful to say the least... When the Vice principal asked me what Rebecca said to me she laughed right into my face and kept repeating it! 
My aunt was even called in there - i think i was brought home, i can't remember...
Anyway i stuck there for my exams and left afterwards without telling anybody - and went to a new school. i broke up with my boyfriend, after a few months in that school 'cause he kept forcing himself on me and asking me to go "the whole way" with me... but i was young - i wasnt ready to do stuff like that. Besides i met a guy (Dave) who was real nice to me - he helped me through all the problems i was having with Jay. Jay ended up using Rebecca's weight insults against me - My mother forced me to go to the doctor for antidepressants, (i think me and Dave had broken up at this stage) then i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (its only a mild case now i think - thank god) and ended up in counselling on strong anti-depressants which were always changed because they didnt work well enough for me. It was SA i had, not just depression! I still worried nonstop that I'd see her again and be insulted.
I did.
One day (while i was still friends with Jay), i was in town with him and my cousin. Rebecca started screaming "CHARZILLA!!!!" across the road and laughing manically - then we crossed the road and she was insulting my cousin. She moved closer to him, as if she was going to hit him, and it gave me an excuse to snap! Completely...
I jumped on her - i wouldve kept going 'til she was dead, but she was strong. I was kicking, punching, screaming, grabbing hair, the lot!
.....i was still fully aware my dad was sitting in the car this whole time. Eventually she knocked me to the ground and ran away.
I was shaking and crying - not out of shame - but out of anger and frustration - and i was too embarrassed to scream..
My dad drove after her- i don't even know why but he did.. Her friend started saying "is it the fat one", and that hurt like sh*t...
A few days later i bumped into her mother in town. She stopped me to talk to me straight away and basically thanked me for attacking her daughter... She said "Its about time someone f*ckin' did it!" Her own mother knew exactly what she was like!! We even ended up trading numbers!
I saw Rebecca after that and she said "Hi".
I completely ignored her.
She tried to add me on facebook a few times.
I rejected her.
She called into the shop my mother works in and was asking for me.
She tried talking to my friend Patricia asking how I was.
Honestly - after 10 years of making my life HELL she's acting like this.
Now there may be some things wrong with me mentally, but this girl is well and truly clinically insane!!
What I'm saying is run away (not literally), find a way to completely cut these bullies out of your life. Leave the school. Give your parents no choice but to allow you to go! Put any social network profiles you have on private, change your number, and avoid all contact with them!
It worked for me - I'm still messed up after it all but if i stayed longer i might not have been alive here talking to you. I was suicidal, and although i dont know you, i don't want you to go through the same thing i did. Get out while you're young. Trust me, once those bullys are totally gone from your life, the happiness you'll feel will be amazing!
Best of luck kid!!
