easier being female

[Lorraine Manca]

one thing im grateful for, is being female, because i think it would be alot harder to be a male with social anxiety. really just because submissive or shy behavior seems more tolerated in women. how do you guys think your gender relates to it?

 

[inspirer]

*deleted message

 

[da_illest101]

i'm sure that it is. usually when people see me they think i'm this big strong dominant black guy, the one in charge. It's pretty bad when a girl tell you, you should have been born a girl just because ur shy

 

[losttroy]

I agree with the SA, part. My fiance's shyness due to SA was one of the things that initially attracted me to her. But I don't agree with the rest. You should watch the second episode of She Spies, sometime. Shane, dressed up as a guy with DeeDee, said it best...you, know I always knew guys had the easier gig!"

Shane was right. Which is why chivalry is so important.

PS: How do I make the funny little "e" to write fiance right!!

 

[Nack]

What about birth >.>

 

[iamthenra]

You were reading my mind! I completely agree with you 100%.

It's kind of like this person that I once knew. He had both sex organs, and if he stayed a "he" and appeared to be more feminine it was much more difficult being a feminine male than it was being a masculine female. So he just dressed up as a woman and even used the ladies bathroom... He changed his legal name from Steve to Hannah... He raised a few eyebrows around the water cooler because when he went to used the restroom, he stood up while urinating.... Of course the women in the office squealed on him, but nothing was ever done about it. I suppose that would a huge legal dilemma if they said anything??? I wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot pole... EEEK!

So yeah, a shy submissive male isn't perceived as "dating" material... But for the gender role for being a shy female, that is "normal" or more widely accepted... In my honest opinion...

 

[no1]

What about birth >.>

the only time she experiences labor.

j/k

 

[Iseesky]

I see where you're coming from...I guess I'm not really qualified to talk about this because I'm a girl, but I'm going to anyway. ::

Really, I think it depends on a lot of things. I think shyness is considered a positive quality to have to a lot of people. Shy people are stereotyped as being modest and kind and pleasant and of course...mysterious! I know tons of girls who would kill for a nice, shy guy! One who isn't a jerk, one who will let you talk, one who is kind and understanding. Of course, the situation may change when a guy is so ridden with social anxiety that he is afraid to go to a place like the mall or a movie theatre...etc.

 

[iamthenra]

I see where you're coming from...I guess I'm not really qualified to talk about this because I'm a girl, but I'm going to anyway. ::

Really, I think it depends on a lot of things. I think shyness is considered a positive quality to have to a lot of people. Shy people are stereotyped as being modest and kind and pleasant and of course...mysterious! I know tons of girls who would kill for a nice, shy guy! One who isn't a jerk, one who will let you talk, one who is kind and understanding. Of course, the situation may change when a guy is so ridden with social anxiety that he is afraid to go to a place like the mall or a movie theatre...etc.

Where are these girls? I have been single, shy, introverted my entire life... Not ONE has ever approached me... I am too shy to approach anyone, which is my entire problem. I don't have as much of an issue talking once approached by someone. But being a wall flower, even at the malls or shopping center's or even parties that I have gone to. People leave me alone like I am the plague.

 

[Wes]

Really, I think it depends on a lot of things. I think shyness is considered a positive quality to have to a lot of people. Shy people are stereotyped as being modest and kind and pleasant and of course...mysterious! I know tons of girls who would kill for a nice, shy guy!

Every girl says that, meanwhile they are being cheated on by their abusive, tattooed, lead guitar player boyfriend .

Where are these girls? I have been single, shy, introverted my entire life... Not ONE has ever approached me... I am too shy to approach anyone, which is my entire problem. I don't have as much of an issue talking once approached by someone. But being a wall flower, even at the malls or shopping center's or even parties that I have gone to. People leave me alone like I am the plague.

The best solution I've found to this is if you have a friend who is the opposite of you. I find it so much easier for me to jump into a conversation with a group of people if I have a person around that I feel comfortable with. It has helped me a lot at work even, because once I've broken the ice, from then on I can be friendly to people, and most would probably say I'm outgoing. However if I had to meet them 1 on 1 they probably would have described me as shy and reserved.

 

[Outshined]

Shyness can be an endearing, attractive quality to girls too. The problem is that we stifle ourselves so much that we never give people the chance to get to know us. As guys, we'll always be expected to show some initiative. No one's going to come knocking on your door. You have to put yourself out there, and take some risks. Shyness is tough whether you're a guy or girl.

 

[Iseesky]

Every girl says that, meanwhile they are being cheated on by their abusive, tattooed, lead guitar player boyfriend .

Not every girl!

Where are these girls? I have been single, shy, introverted my entire life... Not ONE has ever approached me... I am too shy to approach anyone, which is my entire problem. I don't have as much of an issue talking once approached by someone. But being a wall flower, even at the malls or shopping center's or even parties that I have gone to. People leave me alone like I am the plague.

I'm right here! =] They're definitely out there! I guess it works both ways though. Quiet girls are attracted to quiet guys. Doesn't work well because neither side is open to confronting the other! But really, I'm not lying! There are girls out there who are avoiding the loud, obnoxious 'bad boy' and would rather have a nice, why guy.

 

[Tempus35]

Where are these girls? I have been single, shy, introverted my entire life... Not ONE has ever approached me... I am too shy to approach anyone, which is my entire problem. I don't have as much of an issue talking once approached by someone. But being a wall flower, even at the malls or shopping center's or even parties that I have gone to. People leave me alone like I am the plague.

I agree, I am the same, and I have never meet these girls, I would love to.

Not every girl!

Yea about 3%

 

[Lea]

I will sooner become a pope than having a baby. I don't understand how can a shy female be in a relationship/have baby. I know that shyness affect everybody differently, but still...

 

[tucktick]

I thought about this myself a while back, was about to post it, but just felt too lazy. Anyways, In my opinion when it comes to finding mates, women with social Anxiety do have it a lot easier than men with SAD. The reason is that the guys are suppose to make a first move on girls. Also, while men are attractive to most shy girls, women are really unattractive to shy or insecure guys. Which most of us here are, lol. It sucks!! Will I always be single??

 

[206Raider]

It might be easier for ya'll, it is tough as hell living like this as a man and dealing with all the bull**** the world throws your way but I'm sure you all have your personal battles and nobody knows eachothers problems though. I am shy, I am quiet and I am nice. I've had a girl tell me I was too nice for her when I asked her out. It's just confidence, if I can be comfortable in my own skin I know everything else will fall in place. How do I know? My brother is as quiet as I am and doesn't show much emotion and treats girls like fleas that follow him around. I wonder how the hell he does that becuase he doesn't ever make conversation but he's just confident in everything he does and they bend over backwards for him. I wouldn't use girls like that, I just want THAT one, I don't need 1,000.

 

[AGR]

I think guys get challenged much more(mostly about their mascunility).

 

[iamthenra]

I'm right here! =] They're definitely out there! I guess it works both ways though. Quiet girls are attracted to quiet guys. Doesn't work well because neither side is open to confronting the other! But really, I'm not lying! There are girls out there who are avoiding the loud, obnoxious 'bad boy' and would rather have a nice, why guy.

People that know me well enough ask me, why I don't have a girl friend. Most who know me think that I am a great guy with allot of great qualities, and when I tell them my problems that I am and have been single my entire life and without any romantic experiences, they just about do a back flip and immediately start back peddling. I would assume that they become more reserved because a man of my age (41) without any experience to allot of women, is more or less someone they don't want to be with. I think it scares them away by telling them or whoever it maybe, the truth about me being this kind and wonderful guy who has allot of knowledge a great handy man, but just lacks social and romantic experience, sends them away with their tail between their legs running in fear from me... All because of me being the honest guy that I am. I know I have been told to not say everything about yourself, but of course I usually hold off until I get to know someone, then I let down my defenses and volunteer this information to just my "guy" friends... I've never had this opportunity to get to know a female except for family of course, in my entire life... I mean I've been on 3 dates with 3 different women, and only 1 of the three I let her know immediately because it slipped out during a conversation over the phone before I flew down to Orlando to meet her... Her advice after the date, was to never let any woman know that I am a virgin at my age....??? I suppose the inclination would be to assume that I have too many issues or problems that cannot be resolved, and to avoid me like the plague? I don't know... All I know is how miserable I am, because I desire a companion, someone to talk to that understands me... A dog is a great companion, but can only provide some relief from isolation and loneliness... Sorry, I rambled on like I usually do.::

 

[userremoved]

Yeah when it comes to social interacting it can be pretty hard, but I'm starting to see that the standards are changing and a lot of women are starting to approach the guys they want. Which is a good change for them too not just us shy guys. It gives women more power over who they want to talk to instead of wading through a sea of jerks to find one good man.

 

[losttroy]

Regarding pain, I've been told many times that women are better at tolerating it. Even tattoo artists have told me that women complain a lot less than men do while they're getting tattoos.

To quote a smart dude from the 19th Century, "that which does not kill us, makes us stronger...."

I'm a p-word when it comes to pain, myself. Even for little shots at the doctor! And it is totally because I am not used to it.