Jellybeans
Well-known member
weekends are awesome. you can relax, party it up with some buds... forget how much your job sucks... social anxiety almost seems to disappear. if i could keep up with a mindset like this, even though my job sucks and i have to confront a ton of annoying people all week long, i would be king. i'd be free from all the tension.
i don't know if anybody's like this, but when the week comes, i get uber, uber serious. i start to feel everything eat away at me. how somebody looks at me could depict how i feel for the next half hour. how i said 'hi' to somebody - was it weak? raspy? did i sound like a douchebag? it could screw up my whole morning. i get into this weird state of mind where i feel like other people are in control of how i feel about myself. i get so afraid of what people will think that I can't even think straight.
then the weekend comes again, and i feel GREAT. i know in my own head that i'm in control of what I think about myself, and i couldn't care less about what anybody says. cause i'm grounded, i know where i stand.
i just wonder sometimes if anybody else feels this sort of jekyll/hyde thing going on as well. it almost feels as though if i could just quit caring, all of the bad vibes would go away. i just wanna feel great all the time, not just some of the time (and no, i'm not talking about alcohol or substance use at all)
i don't know if anybody's like this, but when the week comes, i get uber, uber serious. i start to feel everything eat away at me. how somebody looks at me could depict how i feel for the next half hour. how i said 'hi' to somebody - was it weak? raspy? did i sound like a douchebag? it could screw up my whole morning. i get into this weird state of mind where i feel like other people are in control of how i feel about myself. i get so afraid of what people will think that I can't even think straight.
then the weekend comes again, and i feel GREAT. i know in my own head that i'm in control of what I think about myself, and i couldn't care less about what anybody says. cause i'm grounded, i know where i stand.
i just wonder sometimes if anybody else feels this sort of jekyll/hyde thing going on as well. it almost feels as though if i could just quit caring, all of the bad vibes would go away. i just wanna feel great all the time, not just some of the time (and no, i'm not talking about alcohol or substance use at all)