anxiety with calling ppl by their names...

[slicenrice]

i dunno what this is, i feel like this is such a weird SA trait, but i have a problem calling people by their name unless they are already my friends. i guess it might come from being corrected by my grandparents about pronunciation of names when i was young, but i just can't do it much. i feel like this is very arbitrary sa trait, or maybe it is more than sa...

 

[xSleepy]

im kinda like that. But I think for different reasons. Its dumb, but I feel like im not special enough to beable to call people by their name. Nick names are the worst. Some girl I worked with said I could call her sam...which was short for samantha. I only called her that once. It felt really wrong. I didnt feel cool enough to call her that. 8O

 

[wooaah]

oh wow yeh i'd really like some advice on working past this one too.

I realise how much better if feels when people say "hey Wooaah" instead of just "hey". But i still can't bring myself to do it.

 

[Ursula]

I have the same problem- if I need to attract someone's attention I find it impossible to call out their name so I'd have to walk right over to them and say 'Errm..' and hope they'll hear me. It's probably because using someone's name seems to imply you're on friendly, intimate terms with them and using a nickname seems even more uncomfortably over-familiar. On the other hand have you noticed people sometimes use your name in every sentence, particularly when they're trying to sell you something and they appear to have no shame about how phoney it sounds? I'd rather someone never used my name than using it all the time.

 

[Fairy001]

This is interesting, I tend to do the opposite, overusing peoples names. I have noticed my brother is the same. We either start or finish virtually every sentence with the name of who ever we are addressing, even if there is no one else in the room. Perhaps it is something we learn as children, did your parents use your name much when speaking to you?


Peace xxx

 

[toothpastekisses]

..................

 

[lucifersam]

I used to have this problem really bad when I was in elementary school. It still feels kind of weird using people's names, but it's not that weird to me anymore.

I kind of don't like saying my own name, though.

 

[Haven]

I have the same problem. I also really detest saying my own name, especially on the telephone.

 

[xSleepy]

wow, yeah I dont like saying my own name either. I also dont like hearing other people say it. It just sounds weird, and just too personal or something. I dont know. I just dont like it.

 

[megalon]

I have the exact same problem. I can't even say other people's names to get their attention. I remember calling a coworker by name to get his attention a few months back but other than that I cannot think of a single time except for with family.

 

[Psychedelicious]

I actually almost never call people by their names. Now that I think of it, I can't really even recall a single time I've done it this year. I'm sure I've done it before, but rarely, and most people I have talked to have probably never ever heard me say their name. I don't know why but it's just really uncomfortable to me. I never do.

 

[boro]

It sucks how the simple act of calling someone by their name can bring up so much self consciosness. I never used to call anyone by their first name but somewhere along the line this stopped becoming a problem. Thats great and all, except that now I sometimes catch myself doing this way too much - you know like: "oh Steve, hi. Hey Steve how are you going...Steve"

 

[Digitaldreams]

This is a very intriguing symptom of SA(or shyness).

Growing up,I didn't call any adults by their names,but I think that all my friends did(or at least my closest friends did).

Just now,I tried to find a site about this and according to an etiquette site I found,it's considered rude to call someone by their first name,unless asked to. :? (link - http://en.allexperts.com/q/Social-Etiquette-Good-2570/Calling-people-names-1.htm )

Answer
Calling someone by their last name is generally on the order of calling someone by their first name. It implies familiarity. The rudeness only comes in when someone does it and has not been invited to do so.

It is a rule that you do not call anyone by their first name unless invited to do so. You should call anyone you've just met by their courtesy title (Mr., Ms., Mrs., Miss) and their last name. If they want you to call them something else, they will ask.

Maybe as very small children some of us were told this type of thing and took it too literally or misunderstood it.
BTW,I guess by the etiquette logic at that website,you all should address me as "Mr. Digitaldreams". :wink:

 

[Fairy001]

Mr Digitaldreams,

Thank you for that information, at least now I know when to use peoples names, or not, as the case may be! :lol:



Peace

Mrs Fairy xxx

 

[Siren]

This is interesting.
I too don't like calling people by their names, and I don't like saying my own. I don't have a problem with calling my cousins or my few friends by their names, but anyone other than that, I feel like I'm crossing some boundary, that it's too personal, and that it makes them uncomfortable.

Especially since people rarely know my name for the first part of the school year because I'm so quiet, and I end up knowing everyone's name within a week or two because they're all so loud and talkative.
So if by chance I had to say their name, they would think it was so weird because they don't even know mine.

 

[Zarrix]

When I first meet people, I hesitate to call people by their name, so when I go to speak to them, I just say hey, and hope they answer me. After a few times though, Im usually alright.

 

[Edith]

I have the exact same problem. I can't even say other people's names to get their attention. I remember calling a coworker by name to get his attention a few months back but other than that I cannot think of a single time except for with family.

YESSS!!! I have the same problem. I can't use a person's name until I've known them for at least a few months. At my last job they wanted me to use the customers FIRST names when I talked to them... but I couldn't, not even when the customers would ask me to - I would just blush and then say "Sorry Sir... er... Mike... sir.... oops" It was SO hard...

I actually make an effort to use people's names when I talk to them right away so that it won't feel weird.

I don't know why this is a weird thing for me to do... names are SO personal and its hard to get past that in a weird way.

 

[Emma]

I usually make up names for people

Everyone at work has one
Sleaze Man
Trucker girl (she has a beard)
Candy Cane (She reminds me of a secret hooker)
Witchy (She has a big nose)
Ms Chips (her toenails are big and yellow, like chips)
God I hope they never find this

 

[Pookah]

I have a problem doing this as well, due to a doubt I have that I might not have the name right or don't know the person enough.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

I cant do it either! its too personal. its like having sex with them! i just try to make guttural noises to get peoples attention.

i never thought id see other people with this quark too. like another person said, i make up names for people too and call them that in my head if that makes sense.