Don't let it stop you.

sahxox

sahxox

Well-known member
For years I have hated myself. For no reason other than being quiet.

Society tells you it's wrong. That it's bad. Buy honestly, being quiet
Is the worst thing I've done to the world. I pay my taxes, I work hard,
I certainly haven't killed anyone. Yet I had this voice in my head stopping
Me from enjoying life.

I took a big step and followed my heart career wise. I've hit many obstacles,
Not connected with social phobia, that would've knocked many over.

One thing that used to kill me was when people bought it up. But ****, I am
Doing the absolute best I can despite it. I may not say much to allot of
People, but honestly I try to do the right thing. I am introverted with
What used to be crippling social phobia,
But I ploughed through that shit. I still suffer from it and probably always will. But I'm kicking career goals and living now.
I have been told I am pretty emotionless and don't say much. However, when I
Need to speak, I have been told that I am incredibly confident, and actually good
At public speaking!!! Hahaha it makes me laugh because if only they knew what I go through every single day.

Maybe I've adapted through society through an apathetic approach. But if that's the bigger crime I commit, there's nothing I can be convicted for to stop me.
 
Sacrament

Sacrament

Well-known member
Good job. It really is a matter of doing things or not doing them. You are your own worst enemy if you don't, and your own friend if you push through.
 
SoScared

SoScared

Well-known member
Hi sahxox - its always good when one of my fav posters from the past reappears with a positive outlook.
 
B

BlueWeepingRose

Well-known member
Wow that's great! Thanks for posting this up and sharing you're story with us. It gives me hope that I can do the same thing. Because I have trouble talking to people a lot of the time.
 
D

DoABarrelRoll69

Member
sahxox said:
For years I have hated myself. For no reason other than being quiet.

Society tells you it's wrong. That it's bad. Buy honestly, being quiet
Is the worst thing I've done to the world. I pay my taxes, I work hard,
I certainly haven't killed anyone. Yet I had this voice in my head stopping
Me from enjoying life.

I took a big step and followed my heart career wise. I've hit many obstacles,
Not connected with social phobia, that would've knocked many over.

One thing that used to kill me was when people bought it up. But ****, I am
Doing the absolute best I can despite it. I may not say much to allot of
People, but honestly I try to do the right thing. I am introverted with
What used to be crippling social phobia,
But I ploughed through that shit. I still suffer from it and probably always will. But I'm kicking career goals and living now.
I have been told I am pretty emotionless and don't say much. However, when I
Need to speak, I have been told that I am incredibly confident, and actually good
At public speaking!!! Hahaha it makes me laugh because if only they knew what I go through every single day.

Maybe I've adapted through society through an apathetic approach. But if that's the bigger crime I commit, there's nothing I can be convicted for to stop me.
Click to expand...

Excellent job on just doing YOU and enjoying YOUR life. Thank you for this. I needed this in my time of despair. Thank you for the motivation.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
sahxox said:
Policing...
Click to expand...
Now I know where to go if I ever get a ticket. :giggle:

Seriously, though, great job on your mental achievements. It's not easy accepting who you are sometimes, especially if it's not the norm, so be proud of yourself and continue to be that confident person you know you can be! :perfect:
 
S

sorrow1

Well-known member
Hi sahxox, I am in the same line of work as you! In some ways it is this job that has helped me the most same as you by the sounds of it. I was so naïve before I joined this job and it really helped me see the world and its people at is cruellest and at its most beautiful. Somedays I would see things that shocked me and made me realise my own life wasn't so bad and it made me feel a better person and a more confident person.
I used to always be regarded as quiet and expressionless too but that was just the body language I portrayed probably because I was too afraid to show my real emotions and too physically frozen to speak. But over the years I have improved.
How long have you worked in the job out of interest? I don't think Ive ever met someone else on here who does the same. Im from the UK but I imagine things are totally different over in Australia!
 
Sammie_Kay

Sammie_Kay

Well-known member
I am a quiet person unless I get to know someone and feel comfortable around you then you cant get me to shut up.
I hate when people joke about it and say "oh your such a talkive one" It just makes me arkwardly smile at them.

Sounds like you are working really hard to get where you wanna be. That is a big inspiration to me.
I have dreams of getting my dream job or at least trying to see if it really is a dream but I have people stoping me and when what they say just affects my brain and makes it hard for me to go on.

I would love if you could give some advice for me.
How do you deal with just jumping in and going for your career goals?
 
sahxox

sahxox

Well-known member
Thanks everyone for your positive posts :) it is interesting
Coming back on here after a year and seeing how
Sad my old threads were.... And appreciating the support we
Can get from one another.

Sorrow1 I certainly get that paradox of horror and beauty.
You see the absolute worst of life and realise that there
Are scarier things out there than our own thoughts. From
Adversity grows strength.

Sammie Kay, I guess I reached a point in my life where it was
Going nowhere. I hated it and knew I had to get out of where
I was fast. 12 months of depression drove me mad and gave me
The fuel I needed to endure the toughness of
Training. I got out by following a vague distant ghost of a dream
Because I guess I felt I had to find a direction to get me away.

Ha it was terrifying at first because I lived a fairly solitary life and I
Was thrown in the deepend, surrounded by people literally 24/7...
Eating, working, sleeping, showering. There was not a scrap of alone
Downtime in half a year.
But it somehow still wasn't as destructive as where I left.

All in all I guess that I dealt with it by knowing I personally had no other
Option for me.
 
Argentum

Argentum

Well-known member
I stopped hating myself for being quiet a long time ago, but it's hard to not be disappointed at its complete lack of a purpose. I can compensate and play it to my advantage as an employee who appears smart and stays out of trouble, but it's a tiring uphill battle for the things I really want in life: companionship and belonging. Even when someone ignores negative dispositions to those who aren't social butterflies, conversationalists, and party animals, it remains a fight to be noticed and to make connections. I'm still searching for the solution to that one.

Not a death sentence, though, and there's certainly less ethical and more troublesome traits out there.
 
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