Crying in front of people

Crying in front of people is my worst nightmare. When I feel on the verge of tears around my therapist I freak out, and quickly think of unrelated things. I've only cried in front of anybody twice in my life, and both times my mom made fun of me for crying and walked away. "Oh, now you're going to have a mental breakdown or something?" -storms away-, or she starts telling me how i'm using crying to win some kind of fight with her, and how i'm a bad person. Apparently I didn't even cry as a child, ever, unless my sisters did so first.

When I speak of things that make me sad... I smile. When it's a moment I should be crying, I laugh. I can't not, I'm way too scared. How are you with crying around others?

i hate crying in front of people but i am such a wreck that sometimes i can't help control myself and i cry in the most inappropriate places. it's irrational, makes me look like a basketcase. i have a hard time controling my emotions and hiding them. my face reveals everything which is humiliating and makes me feel very vulnerable... a huge huge huge factor in my social anxiety.

EscapeArtist said:

When I speak of things that make me sad... I smile. When it's a moment I should be crying, I laugh.

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I do this often, mainly to downplay the severity and to curb my emotions, otherwise strangers would get shows they weren't asking to see. I don't want my filth to be transferable. I have masks and disguises for these occasions.

However, when I'm alone, the tears flow freely.

I'd much rather stay locked in my room if I need to cry. Even times when it might be appropriate to cry in front of people, I try not to. Say if someone tells me a story about their pet dying or something like that, it's so sad and I might start tearing up a little, but I just try to blink a lot and look away so it's not obvious. Even at funerals, I'll cry, but I do try to hold back a little if I can.

When I was little I've seen too many role models in tears out of desperation, it left me a little bit traumatized. And so I rarely cry, and when I do cry it's usually during a complete mental breakdown. Luckily those don't happen all too often. ^W^

I don't like crying in front of others, it's humiliating. But it has happened a lot. I've cried around pretty much all of my therapists (3), my vocational specialist, & maybe even my psychiatrist. Plus, my one "friend", family members, & complete strangers, in public. I hate it, but I can't control it.

I have cried in front of many people, today i cried in front of my daughters teacher.
I cry when im really angry, which is a bit weird i guess but it happens lol
the school got me really angry and me being the dope that i am, cried, i dont get embarassed by it, just feel stupid :/

mummylala said:

I have cried in front of many people, today i cried in front of my daughters teacher.
I cry when im really angry, which is a bit weird i guess but it happens lol
the school got me really angry and me being the dope that i am, cried, i dont get embarassed by it, just feel stupid :/

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This is off topic, but I love your signature quote. Very true