Constant rejection, confusion.
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Odo
Banned
Your problem could be that you're boring, or too straightforward.
I'm not trying to be mean here. A good job, house, health, security etc are important, but a lot of women can afford that stuff for themselves anyways and even if they can't it's still not enough of a reason to start a relationship. It's not the fifties anymore. I would say that even being really good-looking isn't enough.
It could be possible that you just aren't dating the right type of person, but I think in most cases you need to show that you can be exciting, romantic, funny, adventurous... or at least interesting. You don't have to spend a lot of money, you just need to show some creativity.
I'm not trying to be mean here. A good job, house, health, security etc are important, but a lot of women can afford that stuff for themselves anyways and even if they can't it's still not enough of a reason to start a relationship. It's not the fifties anymore. I would say that even being really good-looking isn't enough.
It could be possible that you just aren't dating the right type of person, but I think in most cases you need to show that you can be exciting, romantic, funny, adventurous... or at least interesting. You don't have to spend a lot of money, you just need to show some creativity.
Odo
Banned
I didn't think you were bragging, I was just going by what you said.
Maybe the problem is your approach to dating? It might work better if you looked at your interests and then found places where likeminded people are most likely to gather, or where at least you will see people on a regular basis, so you can develop the relationship more slowly.
At the very least you might meet someone willing to set you up with their friend. I agree people shouldn't judge on the first date, but that is often what they will do.
S_Spartan
Well-known member
Dating these days is pretty brutal. People do things quickly and they want instant satisfaction. They approach dating like consumers. It's like you are a product and they are a shopper with imagined unlimited riches to spend. So they become very fickle and if you have a strike or three against you(who doesn't have something?) They disappear into the night with Tinder in their vanishing hands ready for the next piece of merchandise.
This doesn't mean that there aren't quality people out there but I'm sure most are taken.
I have actual given up on dating. I don't even think about it. The thought of getting to know people over endless coffee and meals does not excite me. Then there is the small talk and the sizing up. I'm too old and lazy for all that. I have been there and done that. And then there is the fact that monogamy doesn't excite me much at the moment. Would be nice to have a part time relationship though.
But I am hijacking the ops thread by talking about myself.
Op, maybe you should stop trying for a while or start looking at dating differently. The world of dating seems to have changed in the last five years.
Oh, and dating is anything but logical. It does not operate on logic. You can be mister have it all together and well deessed and she turns ya down then the next guy is covered in tats and freshly out of prison and he lights her fire. It's all kinda like, whatever.
This doesn't mean that there aren't quality people out there but I'm sure most are taken.
I have actual given up on dating. I don't even think about it. The thought of getting to know people over endless coffee and meals does not excite me. Then there is the small talk and the sizing up. I'm too old and lazy for all that. I have been there and done that. And then there is the fact that monogamy doesn't excite me much at the moment. Would be nice to have a part time relationship though.
But I am hijacking the ops thread by talking about myself.
Op, maybe you should stop trying for a while or start looking at dating differently. The world of dating seems to have changed in the last five years.
Oh, and dating is anything but logical. It does not operate on logic. You can be mister have it all together and well deessed and she turns ya down then the next guy is covered in tats and freshly out of prison and he lights her fire. It's all kinda like, whatever.
Slytherin88
Well-known member
You sound like a rare catch these days..
Richey
Well-known member
Same here and frankly I'm sick of it....
Have decided to devote my time to hobbies, education, projects etc. and not crushes or friends...
Problem i have is that so many people are just so full of themselves, egotistical, gossipy, competitive...
Where are all the nice nerdy, chilled out people???
Sick of it..ego..ugh
Have decided to devote my time to hobbies, education, projects etc. and not crushes or friends...
Problem i have is that so many people are just so full of themselves, egotistical, gossipy, competitive...
Where are all the nice nerdy, chilled out people???
Sick of it..ego..ugh
Helmaninquiel
Well-known member
Really to put it boldly the women your dating are morons, and are probably self absorbed.
Opaline
1
Not being attracted to someone doesn't make a person a moron. I would agree that ignoring someone is rude when you've been talking to them and just suddenly stop for no apparent reason or without explanation. I wouldn't say that a woman is a moron, though, just because she's not head over heels for someone who is "nice" and everything else. As Odo said, it takes more than that. And you can't force attraction.
I'm not saying there aren't moronic, self-absorbed women out there - there are plenty of them. But the whole "give nice guys a chance" thing annoys me; why should I give someone a chance when I don't feel a connection? I'm wasting both of our time.
S_Spartan
Well-known member
Yeah but I think there are many women(and I'm sure men also) who are holding out for some perfect person who does not exist.
So they don't get to know anybody who doesn't check all the boxes on their list.
A lot of entitlement attitude out there right now.
A lot of male players and a lot of female princess types.
And you know that sometimes attraction is something that has to grow and build over time.
But people now want instant.
It's all really f'ed up.
Richey
Well-known member
Completely agree with spartan.
An example...
All the women in family, friends colleagues, superficially chose to date and stay with arrogant, tall, often tradesmen types, tick all the boxes types and not ordinary or nerdy types...sad but true. I know this because when we all go to a party it is the bleeding obvious....
I guess it is natural of the environment that this happens....
That realisation is enough to sort of disengage from it and is a good reason to devote life to hobbies, education, work, creativity instead of the mind bogglingly confusing world of dating and relationships.
An example...
All the women in family, friends colleagues, superficially chose to date and stay with arrogant, tall, often tradesmen types, tick all the boxes types and not ordinary or nerdy types...sad but true. I know this because when we all go to a party it is the bleeding obvious....
I guess it is natural of the environment that this happens....
That realisation is enough to sort of disengage from it and is a good reason to devote life to hobbies, education, work, creativity instead of the mind bogglingly confusing world of dating and relationships.
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theoutsider
Well-known member
You might want to consider dating more non western women. The qualities you listed are still sought after from women who have moved from different areas such as Asia. Unfortunately for many nice guys who are straightforward, you are almost penalized by western women who are looking for their relationship to be an adventure. It almost seems they take pleasure in toying with the nice guys' hopes/ambitions. Not to say all women of the western world are bad choices for dating/marriage, there are still many who appreciate good men but they are becoming harder and harder to find. The western world seems to be more dominated by women who are influenced by movies, fantasies and reality TV (Real Housewives of Whatever). Reliable, faithful and hardworking? Those traits can all be seen as boring and useless to these types of women while those same traits are highly sought after by women from other parts of the world. My advice is that you expand your horizons in the dating scene. You may find a woman from your country who appreciates you but you extend your chances by far if you are open to women of different origins.
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