Why do losers get girls at all?

To me, it doesnt matter. I dont understand why people analyze this stuff. They are just jealous that they dont have women. Whats it to them if women go out with *******s or losers? Are you mad that they arent with an ******* like you? I dont know why guys act like they are in charge of women and they get to regulate who they talk to, who they go out with, who they can have sex with. Its NOT your job! You will be alot better off in life once you get this idea out of your head. Heres something you need to remember:




1. Women are not property, at no point do you own them. Not even if you are married. (something men have trouble with)

2. You are not owed sex/GF/Partner, just cause others have it doesnt mean you are owed. (Again, something that others have trouble accepting. Or just not aware)


3. Just cause other men brag about women and sex, it doesnt mean they are more of a man than you. ( more often than not, they are bull****ting about this too) I see lots of guys feeling left out or feeling less of a man all because of this. Its your fault you let inadequate men tell you that you are not a man.


I hope I cleared this up for you guys and gave you a better peace of mind. Take care

PunkRotten said:

Just cause other men brag about women and sex, it doesnt mean they are more of a man than you. ( more often than not, they are bull****ting about this too) I see lots of guys feeling left out or feeling less of a man all because of this. Its your fault you let inadequate men tell you that you are not a man.

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This is where I see a lot of the problems coming from and that's other men telling us that we're losers because of one thing or another. Now before one you guys yell at me I want to say that I already know I shouldn't care what other people think of me, but that's easier said than done. But a lot of people here have very low self worth both men and women, so it shouldn't be a surprise when a guy says that he can't get a relationship because he thinks hes a loser, or girls that say they can't get a guy because they're too unattractive.

I understand, but I dont think people should put too much thought into it. The more and more you feel inadequate, you will ruin relationships with everyone. You focus on your flaws and then it turns something small into a huge thing. Everything is exaggerated and blown out of proporsion. But like I say, realizing you dont own anyone and nothing is owed to you, you dont have to worry about this. Cause in the end, no matter what you think or do, its always gonna be the same. Alot of people here like to focus on those they perceive as better than them, and then feel like they need to be like that in order to be worthy, to function, to be good enough.


People need to get these ideas out of their head. You are really robbing your life when you think like this.

klytus said:

Hey,

there have been countless threads on why bad boys get all the girls, and there certainly will be more in the near and distant future. Most people, including me - or my unenlightened past self -, posting there have done so, and many will do so, out of envy for those men who are naturally successful with women. However, it is trivial to see what the true allure of the "bad boy" is. Anyone willing to consider the matter realistically will quickly understand this.

Now, let's discuss something much more interesting. A more intriguing question is the following. Why do losers get girls at all?

A number of girls in my group have been romantically connected to men who don't seem to be successful, or powerful, or manly at all. In fact, truly timid men, and therefore truly unattractive men. Why would that be?

Discuss.

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When you say "losers" are you referring to the above, you see guys who aren't as successful, powerful or manly as losers or are we talking about the run down, douches that treat girls like crap losers? If it's the first I find guys who are successful, powerful and/or manly to sometimes be arrogant. Arrogance is a complete turn off for most women. Guys who can be sincere in their feelings, no matter how their appearance looks will score more points in the end with his personality than someone who has a wallet full of money and a flashy smile. It always wittles down to compassion, personality and all that jazz, unless of course you're just one of those people interested in only looks and material items. If men are being referred to as losers for lacking the qualities you stated in your post, that makes me sad to hear. In my opinion they're more man than anyone else.

unless of course you're just one of those people interested in only looks and material items.

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"Those people" are about 99% of the population

Tlachtgha said:

"Those people" are about 99% of the population

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I know sometimes it feels this way with what the media and pop culture in general shove down our throats... but I doubt the percentage is actually that high. Many people are looking for things deeper than just what you see on the surface.

I know sometimes it feels this way with what the media and pop culture in general shove down our throats... but I doubt the percentage is actually that high. Many people are looking for things deeper than just what you see on the surface.

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I wish that were true but I don't think so. Things like sensitivity, sense of humour, loyalty etc. etc. are just side issues to most people.
Sexual attraction and money are what it all boils down to in the end.

easy! the girl doesnt want someone better than she is, doesnt want to feel inferior, losers are low maintenance, comfortable, you dont have to impress them, aint nobody gonna steal the loser from the girl, cause no body else wants them. its safe. most of all if it isnt real love, it wont hurt if said loser leaves.

there are millions of reasons really. i should know cause my mother married one and ive been trying to figure it out for years!

Lorraine Manca said:

easy! the girl doesnt want someone better than she is, doesnt want to feel inferior, losers are low maintenance, comfortable, you dont have to impress them, aint nobody gonna steal the loser from the girl, cause no body else wants them. its safe. most of all if it isnt real love, it wont hurt if said loser leaves.

there are millions of reasons really. i should know cause my mother married one and ive been trying to figure it out for years!

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I have found this to be true. I have witnessed situations like it. Also there are plenty of girls out there that only end up with a guy because they have such a low self-esteem, they don't believe that they deserve anyone better than him.

Another problem I see is that some people feel they need to impress the opposite sex, rather than impressing themselves. I see complaints about looks, money, popularity, etc. The problem with this is, you are seeing others more valuable than yourself, and are only living to impress them. If this is the kinda life you want, you will continue to feel inadequate. Like I said in a previous post, sex, marriage and those type of things are not owed to you.


I see tons of people think just because they get a little older, they automatically are owed a partner. And that it matters on what you can offer them, rather than caring about your own life. Basically you are letting others come before yourself. And you are doing all this for something that is so unreliable. Just because you find someone doesnt mean you own them now, and they are gonna stay with you forever.

well it depends on what you base success on, some people think that a piece of paper with a degree is the stamp of success because it states certain security for career success and alot of girls want a guy who will be in a gauranteed career to provide for a house which is fare enough. now flip the coin, there are just as many people who think its a waste of time and want someone who has lived a tough life and learnt everything themsleves from the ground up without a piece of paper. you're damned if you do and visa versa,.

all i'm saying is that one persons opinion of a loser could be something else to another person.

whenever i come across someone who may be perceived as a loser i'm thinking to myself that all that person needs is to work on certain areas in their life so that they can feel better and contribute more. like if they are weak when it comes to stating their opinion across or amongst authroity then they just need to counter practice being more forceful while showing more emotion in their opinions.

lets be honest weak men or men with a cowardly attitude are probably the most looked down upon people in society. girls can get away with being weak or strong because of the way our society is built upon in a traditional sense. emotionally and physically strong guys are favoured upon in the male realm, but if you are male and vunerable it can really be a huge problem and i would say that is the reason why male suicide rates and withdrawing from society so to speak are the highest in the world because there is an expectation for males to be these all conquering providers who can solve problems and be in a career where they flourish then come home and repair the engine that won't start or solve everybodies problems in the family, so with males it can be an all or nothing journey which can be determined by personal success or outward perception of success which then leads to a happy driven person or someone who can't handle the pressure of those expectations. i'm lucky because i was brought up to solve problems, i didnt have parents that fixed everything for me, i had to learn it all myself which i'm grateful for now because i have alot more skill on how to go about fixing things and my own emotional strength that i had to learn which means i can contribute more outside of just me being me and meeting a girl who likes my humour and outlook. i feel sorry for the kids who were brought up and sheltered by their parents because they enter adulthood and have to learn everything from scratch like how to properly budget or do taxes or how to converse with different people.

i think we are losing balance of people simply being people and sometimes we need to give people a little leniancy of any gender or age. it can be tough for some people on both sides of the spectrum.

anyone can be turned around, its all a matter of perception and understanding the key areas of where to work on becoming stronger in those areas so that they arn't looked down upon by others. or at least disguising their weaknesses a little more.

its like if a male doesnt know alot about how to change a tyre all it takes is one or two lessons and even if they don't care or want to learn at least they know how to approach it in the future. thats a phony metaphor but you can apply it to anything. being more assertive or reactive, random, who knows? it depends on the what, which areas that need attention.

so it kind of annoys me when i hear people referring to other people as losers or deadbeats because "ok"! maybe now they are behaving a certain way that doesn't fit the cliched label of how you think people should be like, so its not always justified to refer to them that way but there are alot of good people with potential who are simply shy, have low self-esteem and can be turned around or can progress with learning and repeated practice just like how anybody would learn a skill. its like those people who seem really strong and confident had to learn their behaviour from scratch as well, before that were they a loser? its just a label from someone who thinks they know it all trying to step on others. i think we need to give people a break, just because you are successful in your mind doesnt mean you can shove it in peoples faces who may not be doing as well.

Wonderful. Now that we all agree that there is no clear definition of a loser, and that even those we see as losers may have most adorable traits (which eventually got them the girl) why is it that almost all of you have been at other threads, complaining about being "worthless losers with no life" and hence unlovable?

If you can rationally think about the lives of others, what makes you fail at doing so about your own life?

It is in general a good thing to aim high, to work towards success. But this is clearly about bashing oneself for aspects which are either unchangeable or irrelevant, like looks or one's voice, or other superficial characteristics, like financial security.

You are basically wronging yourself if you expect more from you than from others. If someone else is fine, or adorable the way he/she is, then the same can be said about you. Most people here think that others expect too much of them. It's not even about what they expect of themselves.

If you don't care if someone else is a loser, why do you think that others care if you are a loser?

Tlachtgha said:

I wish that were true but I don't think so. Things like sensitivity, sense of humour, loyalty etc. etc. are just side issues to most people.
Sexual attraction and money are what it all boils down to in the end.

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I wish to meet a girl who will put those qualities (sensitivity, sense of humor, loyalty) first. She has to.

Remus said:

I think any kind of pity-party/negativity complex is a turn off to both sexes, a lack of self esteem is not appealing to others, lets face it, a potential suiter is looking to be you lover not your therapist

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that is spot on m8.

klytus said:

If you don't care if someone else is a loser, why do you think that others care if you are a loser?

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Every once in a while people will be ridiculed, teased, or maybe just criticized by others for not fitting the social norm. This can come from family, friends, bullies or whatever. The problem is when we think that everyone feels that way about us before they even get a chance to say anything.

So what's the lesson here guys? If your life is miserable, don't act miserable and weak, pretend to be happy, confident and strong! People love that!

ok i was married to a girl who looked liked a model 5 foot high long blond hair , when i went out with her lots of blokes would stare ....... but you know what she was an idiot , if she had the chance to get away with it she would cheat on me ... she was like that with all the men she went out with .. but promised me she wasnt like that anymore ... i dont know really if she ever cheated on me but she was just selfish .. no time for me or our kids .. i thought getting married was all about being a family ... dont regret being married to her cos i got great kids now ... its how you get on with a person not how they look ... yea there has to be some attraction , but its how you get on together , an old lady we moved in a nursing home said to me years ago ... gary if you can be freinds with a girl and you get on ... you have more chance of making it work then if its just sex shes was 87 , old people know it all but young people just look at them and ignore them ... they have lived a full life and know more than we do ......

actually it's a very complicated subject. The brainwashing of the media, the conspiracy on this earth, exopolitics, etc. etc. etc.

Also, people think that gender roles are universal, or that we are inherently promiscuous. If that is so why do we have to form pair bonds for survival, and the raising of our children? Why do we have to learn how to have nonejactulatory orgasm? Some species form pair bonds, some don't. In some species the male takes care of the children, has "womanly" traits. The females having 'manly' traits. Some are monomagous, mate for life. Some are promiscuous, because to slowly make their species sort of immune to inbreeding with time, and controlled exposure. Some have more vasopressin in their systems and some don't.

We are also one of the only species to have sex for pleasure.

Back long ago, humans survived by being evil to each other. You see this in the animal kingdom. primitively , or evolutionary wise we had to outcompete each other to get the women. There was intrasexual selection and intersexual selection. Humans were more intrasexual ie, the men competed amongst each other for Sexier traits to get women, rather than traits that would ensure survival of the whole species and thus themselves. And that is also largely governed by the mind and evolutioanry development of the psychology of the species.

So women had to choose the most violent aggressive domineering man, or at least, those were the only choices available anyways, because we humans hadn't learned that we were better off if we came together and lived in peace.

We are still learning to live in peace, and also spiritually/psychologically and technologically developing, though there are still some of the old mindsets being used by many many people, and such that the society is built on it.

Ie, the monetary system is based on lack. When economic times become hard, women become prostitutes, and men revert back to the same pattern of dealing stress to overcome stress, which repeats violence and the continues a downward spiral. The pwoers that be know this. That's why they have enslaved us with a monetary system (based on the idea of "lack of resources" which there really is none, money is based on a number on a screen or some magical "worth" of "precious stones" or made up quanity of natural resources that the bankers make up when really there is more of that resource than they make it out to be) and made the world such that our accomplishments don't mean a thing but rather how evil we can be to attain money,because really most of the time, your accomplishments don't mean jack **** because there are evil people that rule the world and don't let people's accomplishments take them anywhere or to get money.

So yeah, it's a messed up society. Hopefully we are outgrowing this but there are still people who stil believe in evil thnigs, even unconsciously too. There are things at play also behind the scene which people do not realize that these same people support which only contribute to continuing the struggle.

We have to learn to control this power of sexuality. For centuries and more The Evil Powers That Be have been using sexuality to keep humanity in darkness by creating taboos and basically manipulating things to keep us enslaved by sexuality, and the lack thereof. We have to learn to become more spiritual and that also means to contorl our sexualiy, learn to sublimate it. It's the only way, for traditional sexual practices CAUSE STRESS on the stress maintenance system of the bodies. IT depletes us of the hormones that make us feel good. The lack of sex makes us deficient in oxytocin and the reward system becomes ****ed.

Seriously it's pretty damn fed up but this is where we are. And people need to come together and realize this and work towards the better, and stop stopping down to uncivilized, unuseful practices which only serve to harm us in the long run. For evolution, for sanity. For the survival of our species, AND YOU.

Most of the wars that we have on earth have it's origins in SEX and sexuality. In Procreation. The Evil Powers That Be know this. And people (women) also breed this. So not just men, but also women have to stop this madness.

This also makes it so that people (men mainly) who have never had experience with women in their past, once they get older, they can't get anyone because they were supposed to have had much experience with women in their past, to get women in the future. Again also based on lack.

The fact that women keep choosing older men is instilled in their minds, it keeps the younger men from maturing such that the older they get, the more they want to get younger women because they never had it when they were younger. And women wonder why men go after the younger girls.

I mean... really.......