you can. you know you can.

[honeydippedxo]

Guys if you really want to improve your lives you already know what you have to do. Times a tickin, don't waste your life being so miserable. Time to stop the sob stories, let go of the past and let a new story begin. No more babying yourself, making excuses and blaming. Its all just a waste of your own time. Get out there with your head held high! Let your voice be heard. And stop over analyzing everything. Everything will be alright. All the things other people have done to you are not as bad as what you're doing to yourself. The only way to get over your fears is to face them. Face them every single day no matter what happens! No more hiding away and giving up. Life knocks everyone down its up to you to get back up. If you honestly want to change you will. Its not easy but nothing worth anything comes easy.

 

[deleted user 1]

Give me £4000 and I'll be able to do this.

 

[honeydippedxo]

You dont need money to change. Thats just an excuse and you wont change thinking like that. Sorry to tell you but its the truth. I'm not trying to be rude or upset you but I'm not gonna sugar coat it.

 

[Snowdrop]

I really really want to believe that. You have no idea how much. But I'm just so tired. It feels like I've been fighting this every day since 4-5 yrs ago. I just can't think of what I'm doing wrong. It's like I've been facing my problem each day and being blown back every time. I've told myself that 'I can do it' so many times but why does it never work. I haven't been happy in years and I don't know what to do about it. Twice counselling hasn't helped, nor has medication. I still feel depressed about things that I know are stupid. I feel horrible that I'm putting my family through this, they know I'm sad and yet I'm too stuck in my ways to do anything about it. I feel so frustrated and so angry all the time that I'm stuck like this. I think exactly the same as you say, if you want to change you should do so yourself, but I don't know what to do, just can't make it work...
It just feels like my life has changed so drastically, I am too far in, it's changed too much to change back to normal. It feels like life will never be 'normal' for me again. I'm sorry if I sound like a whiny piece of cr*p but it's really how I feel and you couldn't possibly be as aggravated by myself as I am.

 

[deleted user 1]

You dont need money to change. Thats just an excuse and you wont change thinking like that. Sorry to tell you but its the truth. I'm not trying to be rude or upset you but I'm not gonna sugar coat it.

That isn't entirely true. The principle is a valiant one, however, it is contextually flawed in my case, as in numerous other cases.

 

[Interzone]

It's really easy to tell someone to change, it's not easy for them to actually change. Trust me, most of us have heard what you just said many, many times. If only it were so easy.

 

[UglyAsianGuy]

Stop BSing

 

[EscapeArtist]

it's true.
i guess this means right at the moment i dont want to change.. I dont believe that much will change with my depression if I change. Instead i'm reaching out for nature, fitness, and finishing school. I believe that will force me to face my social fears as well because I'm going to join some groups and going to have to go back to school.

but, i will read this thread back over when I am once again motivated to change. It does come, monthly almost, but am just not right now...

 

[Interzone]

I don't know how to change, I need someone to teach me.

 

[deleted user 1]

I feel aweful for posting at all now. We're all shooting Honeydipped down here. Honey, your post won't solve the physical injury that I have suffered, and it won't change how I feel about it. That said, there is still much I can take from your post. You are right in what you say. And this attitude adjustment will be the cornerstone of every recovery from this. Right now I'm not very receptive to your post, but it's definitely something that will be on my mind and I will strive for it. It takes a lot to conjour that kind of positivity and enthusiasm, especially when things don't go your way, I have a lot of respect for you because of this.

 

[Falkor]

Yes. I did hear this so many times also. I need a way to find to cope with my fears, and anxiety. Like SnowDrop, I would love to believe that, It´s what i´m fighting for everyday, but I will eventually be the person I wanna become, I hope!. I know you share a good message with us, like not worry so much about everything and just go for it and don't analyze everything.
But it's what we deal with. It's not like we can use magic and ''Zoof'' it's gone. No, we deal with a serious issue, and we have to fight, and it's not easy.
But , It's good for sharing, because eventually we have to think like that.
Like don't care about what we feel, and just face society everyday.
We DO need to think differently so thats true

It's really easy to tell someone to change, it's not easy for them to actually change. Trust me, most of us have heard what you just said many, many times. If only it were so easy.

 

[honeydippedxo]

I already knew before posting that most would disagree and get a little mad about what I said. But I say it anyway and I wont stop because I know it's true and I know all of us can get through it. Knock down my positive attitude but I wont stop trying. I never said that it is easy to change or that all of your problems will change if you just adjust your state of mind. what I said was it's all up to you! You can lie to yourself as many times as you want and say you dont know what steps you need to take to improve your life but deep inside you know all the answers. You're just afraid to do what you need to do or are discouraged because you tried and it didnt work out. So what? It's better to spend your time trying & trying again than to sit and wallow. Nothings going to change unless you make it happen.You give up too easily.You wanna lie to yourself and tell yourself your life is always gonna suck so why try? Then go ahead but its not true.Others may bring you down but you're the only one holding you back.

 

[deleted user 1]

I already knew before posting that most would disagree and get a little mad about what I said. But I say it anyway and I wont stop because I know it's true and I know all of us can get through it. Knock down my positive attitude but I wont stop trying. I never said that it is easy to change or that all of your problems will change if you just adjust your state of mind. what I said was it's all up to you! You can lie to yourself as many times as you want and say you dont know what steps you need to take to improve your life but deep inside you know all the answers. You're just afraid to do what you need to do or are discouraged because you tried and it didnt work out. So what? It's better to spend your time trying & trying again than to sit and wallow. Nothings going to change unless you make it happen.You give up too easily.You wanna lie to yourself and tell yourself your life is always gonna suck so why try? Then go ahead but its not true.Others may bring you down but you're the only one holding you back.

The truth is almost always the hardest pill to swallow. But dont let that deter you.

 

[DespairSoul]

hello::

How many times i was hearing just those words? How many times i was trying change this i will not even counting. Advice is super and worse is practice that.
Babying and crying is propably my destiny. No one was saying that live will be easy. A lot of times i was hearing oh is still good u should think about people
what dont have food,or suffer in war but i feel like im in the war but this cant be complaining is diffrent situation is completely something else. Do people think
wich dont suffer with psychic and negative thinking if someone suffer in war or dont have food not,they dont care and piecefully eat theirs meal in Mcdonald.
Ofcourse they dont care and why they should. Always i say myself Isnt yet so worse could be worster.But can be?If this is hell. I want so much but i feel in my body like in prison.

Thank you for your advice u are right with this what u say everyone from us know this. Is now up to us how we will deal with that. I wish nice day.

 

[Danfalc]

Good post.It's rare someone post's someone can post something like this without resorting to telling people to just snap out of it.But for me at least your words ring very true.

It's a hard mentality to get your head round at first,but it's a eye opener when you do.

 

[DespairSoul]

It's not like we can use magic and ''Zoof'' it's gone. No, we deal with a serious issue, and we have to fight, and it's not easy.


This ZOOF i was wishing so much times some timemaschine or ring what i turn on my hand and everything will be back my beautiful live with out psychic on the edge. Maybe someone will one day make it something like that) Hihi would be cool!

 

[Hastings & Main]

Good spirit to have!
Spent over two decades wondering what the **** was wrong with me (insert your own problems here for effect) until a few years back when I finally got some names for what was wrong with me brain-meats, and then I found this place, and just going through a few pages that first day had a positive effect on me. And at this point I'm much more sociable at work and outside, so - while being positive may eventually take a toll on my all-black wardrobe - it's a solid stance we all gotta take.
Keep it going.

 

[Snowdrop]

You can lie to yourself as many times as you want and say you dont know what steps you need to take to improve your life but deep inside you know all the answers.

But that's the thing. I honestly don't know. I hate being a downer but it's true. I've tried everything possible, yet things still haven't improved. I want to believe I have all the answers if only I look deep into my soul but I come up with nothing, and it sucks.

 

[Danfalc]

But that's the thing. I honestly don't know. I hate being a downer but it's true. I've tried everything possible, yet things still haven't improved. I want to believe I have all the answers if only I look deep into my soul but I come up with nothing, and it sucks.

Snowdrop have you tried c.b.t therapy?If not look it up.You can buy some quite good books on sites like amazon for cheap (I would recommend overcoming social anxiety and shyness)

There is also an audio series by Dr Richards which is quite popular and worth getting.It doesn't suit everyone,but I think it's a really good place to start.

 

[honeydippedxo]

Its the giving up part where you fail. You have to try until it works not "lets give this a try" aww didn't work out? ok that doesnt work so forget it. Try again and again and again...see no progress? Dont give yourself time to stress, and think negatively. Try something else. Giving up and waiting around for motivation isn't going to work. You have to do it. Today not tomorrow. Once you realize that the ball is in your court and always has been, you'll be able to make a real difference in your life. You can live a happy life even with sad and any other issues you have in your life. Do you think cancer survivors would make it if they just laid down to die right when they got their diagnosis? Gave up after a few years of failed treatments? Dwelling on every bad thing that happens to you and worrying about everything isn't gonna do you any favors. Its a step at a time, a day at a time. There's no magic fix to your problems. Its how you deal with them that makes the difference.