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[teaforone76]

Hello everyone. I am feeling pretty severely depressed, and the absolute worst in my whole life up until now. I am a sufferer of social phobia and have been since age 11. I am almost 40, so that makes 29 years ! Right now, today, I am homeless and staying at a hotel. Have no family whatsoever, in fact, my own EX brother, helped me with money for an Apt., then had the absolute evil nerve to take money back. %$#@! My parents died by time I was 15. Other family; Aunts, Uncles, etc., all have treated me like a freak of some sort in family. Thanks ****s. I do not have a job, do have income from disability thank God, and no friends at all, not even one. I always had at least 1 friend always. My biggest problem today in my life is not so much SP, that still plays a part, but ANGER. Actually RAGE. I have been evicted, arrested, unfriended, broke up with, etc., because of my severe anger issues. But I am still mad that my mother and I had to say goodbye when I was only 15, AND found her dead on her bedroom floor. For past 25 years, life nothing short of hell ! I never could work, keep friends, stay in school, date, etc. I have no kids, have been through a horrible relationship with someone I have loved for 14 years, it ended after 2 years off and on with her. She wanted to kill me and I had to get an order of protection against her. So no home, no car, no job, no kids, no family or friends at all. No wonder I feel so bad. I want to say this too shall pass, but will it ? At 40 ? I'm scared, really scared. :sad:

 

[sam369]

There is always hope as long as you are alive. Life has being difficult for so many of us for many years, but we have managed to survive in this world, and many of us have even made great contributions to the society, sometimes as simple as helping each other on the forums.

You have managed to live with SP for almost 30 years. Things may not look good to you now, but it's certainly not the end of the world. It's not over as long as you don't give up.

Many of us might have had some difficulties similar to yours, but most of us did not give up. No matter how hard it is, there will always be solutions. Just think about what you can do to make things better. If you cannot change others' opinion yet, you can certainly do things to make yourself better. Maybe one small step at a time. If others can see hope in you, they will be better to you over time.

You should be strong and try to make things better; if not for someone in this world, do it for people who love you in heaven. Things will get better.

 

[Megaten]

Holy crap, I am sorry dude.

 

[Strong]

This was a really sad read. I'm sorry life has did you this way OP. I hope you're able to overcome the bad things and enjoy your life.

 

[mwake]

God bless, hugs.

Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk

 

[teaforone76]

Thanks. Much appreciated.

 

[azouzi]

There are things that we can change and others that we simply can't, I really hope that you get your life together because it is never too late

 

[fate12321]

Wow, that's pretty though man. I hope you can hang on. Things look bad now but hopefully things will eventually turn out good for you. You can PM me when ever you like if you need to talk to someone.

 

[Kiwong]

That's a tough thing to be going through. Hope things can improve for you. Anger and fear are the two faces of anxiety. Is there some sort of anger management program you can do? I understand what it is like to be scared most of the time, but it can change into something less fearful.

 

[R3K]

the anger and rage is like your subconscious taking over by using your emotions. your constant depression and anxiety probably triggered it. you gotta try and channel the anger into useful energy... I know it sounds weird, but you can be angry and use it to motivate yourself to take action without showing it and actually scaring ppl.

I've used my anger carefully to overcome my fears and anxiety in recent years (i'm 36 btw so i'm close to the same phase of life as u are). if ur friends/family won't help you then F'em and get your money/house/car/wife on your own and just spit a green, chunky loogie on the ground everytime you think of them.