work is going to be worse

[LazyHermitCrab]

So I work at this grocery store at a specific department and my boyfriend who is my only friend there works in another. He's heard people tell him that i don't talk, shy, all that stuff but now he is going to actually work in my department since his department doesn't give him enough hours. He's friends with everyone in my department and it's just embrassing for 9 hrs a week for him to witness how awkward i am at work. I don't talk to anyone unless it's required and he's going to be like :O It's one thing to hear about it but to witness it for a long period of time.... yeah freaking out. He's visit me in my department but only for 5 minutes at a time but hours of seeing this, is going to be a nightmare i think he already feels "bad

 

[Section_31]

awww hermit *hug*

does he know about your S/A?

 

[Nanita]

I understand that this creates a lot of worries for you. I have had the same worries, at times when I have been in awkward situations with my boyfriend + other people.
I´m always scared that he will be dissapointed with me and my weird behaviour. Or that he will get sad because he sees I´m suffering.
Actually he has been surprisingly understanding and has not been dissapointed or tried to make me change my behaviour.
Anyway I still have those worries though. It´s hard to be in a relationship when having trouble socializing with the partners friends, family, etcetera.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

awww hermit *hug*

does he know about your S/A?

I'm not sure. I figured it kinda speaks for itself. When he was trying to ask me out he said it was hard for him because i was so quiet and that he would see me run away after work was over so he couldn't ask to hang out before :/ Maybe he liked the challenge of it all >.>

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

I understand that this creates a lot of worries for you. I have had the same worries, at times when I have been in awkward situations with my boyfriend + other people.
I´m always scared that he will be dissapointed with me and my weird behaviour. Or that he will get sad because he sees I´m suffering.
Actually he has been surprisingly understanding and has not been dissapointed or tried to make me change my behaviour.
Anyway I still have those worries though. It´s hard to be in a relationship when having trouble socializing with the partners friends, family, etcetera.

Thanks for sharing. I always feel bad when he feels bad when I have trouble with people and asks why i seem okay sometimes and other times it seems really hard for me to talk. It's like a constant challenge because meeting his friends and family was really hard. The reason why I think my other relationships wouldn't last over 5 months was because I didn't communicate a lot and was too afraid to meet friends and/or family and still am so it's just difficult. He asks personal questions too like "were you really lonely before me?"

 

[Section_31]

I'm not sure. I figured it kinda speaks for itself. When he was trying to ask me out he said it was hard for him because i was so quiet and that he would see me run away after work was over so he couldn't ask to hang out before :/ Maybe he liked the challenge of it all >.>

Maybe you should be honest with him?. Would understanding more perhaps enable him to support you better with this?. How do you think he would react to you telling him about what your dealing with?

I dont really know you situation, so i apologize if these suggestions have been done already.

I hope it works well for you, Keeping my fingers crossed.

 

[deleted #89]

No no no no...stop.

You are anticipating and jumping to conclusion. This is exactly what peopel with SA have TO STOP DOING. You are not the only one of course even I do this but I have learned to see those kind of patterns.

Ok listen you have a movie playing in your head.

This is your movie: I will work with my BF for 9 hours and he will see what I am really about. I will not talk allot and make him/me feel awkward.

Now close your eyes and play this movie in your head:

I will work with my BF for 9 hours and at times we are going to laugh and talk and at other times we are going to work because that's what we are suppose to to at work.

Just picture and visualize your ideal scenario. Play it over and over in your head. This is exactly what you are doing but you just have the wrong movie in your head. Visualization is not a joke and can really work if you do it on a daily basis for *30-40 minutes at a time.

* the more the better.