Sacrament
Well-known member
Alright, I haven't come here in months and months, but I have a word of advice, and if it helps even a single person overcome social phobia/anxiety, then I've done my job.
I've been suffering from Social Anxiety since I was 18, triggered by a crazy break up with one of my exes. I lost all self-confidence, and couldn't even go to school anymore.
I spent a lot of time stagnant, too afraid to give my life meaning and purpose, a sense of direction. I know a lot of you are going through this, some of you unable to even step outside, or go to the grocery store, anything.
But if you want things to get better, you need to want it, and you need to work very hard. You also need to celebrate every small victory you can get, and let it inspire you to try, try and try again.
In order to be a little more specific, I'll give you a scenario that I know will get some of your hearts racing just by reading it: imagine you're a writer, and you feel like your work is decent, and want to get it out there. Imagine you enter a literary contest (on a national level), and suddenly you get a telephone call informing you you've won. Great news, right? Yes, I was happy as hell, because something like 200 people entered, and they gave my work top marks.
But after all the joy and happiness of winning, you realize something: the award ceremony. Bright lights, a stage, tons of people staring at you, listening to every stuttered word that comes out of your mouth, watching your body tremble with panic. Yeah, I'm sure you can imagine what it would be like.
And that was me last Friday, on the 23rd. Ever since they called me to let me know I had won, I told myself "I knew this could happen, I've won a couple of contests in the past, and knew my work has what it takes to win". Above all, I told myself that if I didn't go to the ceremony (it wasn't mandatory, since they would send me the cheque anyway), I would deeply regret it, and it wouldn't improve my situation.
So I went. I tried to imagine it all week long, tried to imagine every possible question they would present me with, names of writers that inspired me if I were to be asked something of the sort, etc etc. Obviously, there was no way of knowing.
So I thought, because the award ceremony was in a relatively small town, that the ceremony itself would be modest, and not a lot of people would attend.
Wrong. Place was packed. I'm talking 200+ people, and not enough seats for everyone. My heart was going a million miles an hour, my face was burning up, I was sweating, the whole nine yards.
But what matters is this: despite all this, and despite the fact that it was ten times harder for me than it was for any of the other people (honorable mentions, other categories, etc), and despite the fact that my face burned even more when they called my name, I got up, got on that stage, grabbed the microphone, smiled, gave a little speech, AND I even read some of my work to the audience, even though my voice was sort of shakey and I was reading just a little too fast. Humiliating, right?
No. I got so much applause, so many smiles, and such an incentive to keep on writing, that I couldn't believe it. There were even some girls sitting in the row behind my parents that said "I like that guy" (they told me afterwards), even before I had read my work. All it took was to say a little joke and do what I had planned to do.
They had a speaker present. She could have read my work and I could be sitting down with my cheque and be happy it was over with. But I wanted to read it. I wanted people to hear it from my own lips, my own words, my own work. And their response was amazing.
And now, looking back on it, I'm tremendously happy I went. I feel inspired, more alive, more worthy of things, of happiness.
What's also terribly important, is that I didn't do this for anyone but myself. Why? Because I'm worth it. Because I have the right to be happy.
And so do you. So go out there, work out, take a walk by the beach, take your dog to the park, and don't be afraid to smile. Be confident, be happy, enjoy the little things, and celebrate every small victory, no matter how silly it may seem to you. But above all, don't give up. Stand your ground and fight for yourself, because you are worth it.
Cheers!
I've been suffering from Social Anxiety since I was 18, triggered by a crazy break up with one of my exes. I lost all self-confidence, and couldn't even go to school anymore.
I spent a lot of time stagnant, too afraid to give my life meaning and purpose, a sense of direction. I know a lot of you are going through this, some of you unable to even step outside, or go to the grocery store, anything.
But if you want things to get better, you need to want it, and you need to work very hard. You also need to celebrate every small victory you can get, and let it inspire you to try, try and try again.
In order to be a little more specific, I'll give you a scenario that I know will get some of your hearts racing just by reading it: imagine you're a writer, and you feel like your work is decent, and want to get it out there. Imagine you enter a literary contest (on a national level), and suddenly you get a telephone call informing you you've won. Great news, right? Yes, I was happy as hell, because something like 200 people entered, and they gave my work top marks.
But after all the joy and happiness of winning, you realize something: the award ceremony. Bright lights, a stage, tons of people staring at you, listening to every stuttered word that comes out of your mouth, watching your body tremble with panic. Yeah, I'm sure you can imagine what it would be like.
And that was me last Friday, on the 23rd. Ever since they called me to let me know I had won, I told myself "I knew this could happen, I've won a couple of contests in the past, and knew my work has what it takes to win". Above all, I told myself that if I didn't go to the ceremony (it wasn't mandatory, since they would send me the cheque anyway), I would deeply regret it, and it wouldn't improve my situation.
So I went. I tried to imagine it all week long, tried to imagine every possible question they would present me with, names of writers that inspired me if I were to be asked something of the sort, etc etc. Obviously, there was no way of knowing.
So I thought, because the award ceremony was in a relatively small town, that the ceremony itself would be modest, and not a lot of people would attend.
Wrong. Place was packed. I'm talking 200+ people, and not enough seats for everyone. My heart was going a million miles an hour, my face was burning up, I was sweating, the whole nine yards.
But what matters is this: despite all this, and despite the fact that it was ten times harder for me than it was for any of the other people (honorable mentions, other categories, etc), and despite the fact that my face burned even more when they called my name, I got up, got on that stage, grabbed the microphone, smiled, gave a little speech, AND I even read some of my work to the audience, even though my voice was sort of shakey and I was reading just a little too fast. Humiliating, right?
No. I got so much applause, so many smiles, and such an incentive to keep on writing, that I couldn't believe it. There were even some girls sitting in the row behind my parents that said "I like that guy" (they told me afterwards), even before I had read my work. All it took was to say a little joke and do what I had planned to do.
They had a speaker present. She could have read my work and I could be sitting down with my cheque and be happy it was over with. But I wanted to read it. I wanted people to hear it from my own lips, my own words, my own work. And their response was amazing.
And now, looking back on it, I'm tremendously happy I went. I feel inspired, more alive, more worthy of things, of happiness.
What's also terribly important, is that I didn't do this for anyone but myself. Why? Because I'm worth it. Because I have the right to be happy.
And so do you. So go out there, work out, take a walk by the beach, take your dog to the park, and don't be afraid to smile. Be confident, be happy, enjoy the little things, and celebrate every small victory, no matter how silly it may seem to you. But above all, don't give up. Stand your ground and fight for yourself, because you are worth it.
Cheers!
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