Will I Ever Be Free?

Global

Global

New member
Hi People

Where do I start.....

Well am a 21 year old male with very low self esteem and Its killing me :( I've been working for about 10months now (First Job) and am finding It very hard to fit in because am not use to social situations. If all eyes are on me, I will instantly feel light headed and start to blush. I get so self obsessed on what am doing or the way I look I end up messing up! For example, couple of weeks ago am making a cup of tea for the office and my whole hand is shaking and am spilling it everywhere because am concentrating on not spilling it this doing so :(

Is this just a faze? Will I ever be normal?

Am really depressed :(
 
Last edited:
M

MadCat

Well-known member
Global said:
Hi People

Where do I start.....

Well am a 21 year old male with very low self esteem and Its killing me :( I've been working for about 10months now (First Job) and am finding It very hard to fit in because am not use to social situations. If all eyes are on me, I will instantly feel light headed and start to blush. I get so self obsessed on what am doing or the way I look I end up messing up! For example, couple of weeks ago am making a cup of tea for the office and my whole hand is shaking and am spilling it everywhere because am concentrating on not spilling it this doing so :(

Is this just a faze? Will I ever be normal?

Am really depressed :(
Click to expand...

This is often a problem, when you focus so hard trying not to do something, it often gets worse. A good example of this was with the tea. The idea is that you are focusing on it too much which causes you to end up becoming overwhelmed with a single object in your mind, which causes all sorts of oddities and stress, making you shake and spill the tea. Anxiety is a real bastard!
 
DoodlebugSA

DoodlebugSA

Member
It was kinda difficult when I started working as well especially the annoying induction (when you have to get to know everybody else) All I can say is hopefully it will get better (it did for me - but I was lucky enough to have someone who made all the moves to befriend me). I remember the first couple of days actually having to force myself to go into work - it would have been so much easier to quit and not have to deal with it. ::(:
 
D

ds29

Member
Try to fake yourself being comfortable in social gatherings. It might sound strange but it's an effective way to reprogram yourself and at the same time building a strong confidence.
 
madmike

madmike

Well-known member
I had a hard time fitting in at work last year. I was at college at the same time, so i only had to go in 12 hours a week, but i never liked it. I guess you really have to step out of yourself and try to get to know some people, at the end of the day it's other people who determine whether or not you enjoy yourself (whether or not you like it). Sorry, just wanted to say i've been there and know it's really hard...
 
tucktick

tucktick

Well-known member
I have been working at a restaurant for about six months as a side job. I dropped and spilled shit in front of customers, it was really embarrassing. It didn't go away for a long time because I cared too much, this is like the biggest thing with us SA'ers, we give a shit for no reason. I'm better now and I can talk to customers eye to eye most of the time, unless its a really hot girl, then I twitch. But thats besides the point, I just stopped ****ing caring, my insecurities started to tail off and I felt better. Plus I got in a fight with a customer and everyone was looking at me. I called him an Idiot and told him to **** off, in front of the whole restaurant. (By the way customer was an idiot, I mean really stupid, I'm not a mean guy, lol.) I guess I just had it, don't get me wrong I still have a long long way to go, this bastard anxiety won't go away this easily. So, yeah I'm just all about pushing your self to the limits. Sweat till u don't have any left and then keep going.
 
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