Why not suicide?

Patrick123

Well-known member
I'm 23 and I am failing out of school -not because I can't handle the intellectual press (laughauble), but because I don't care.

I just started taking Lexapro and I hurt, physically and emotionally, everywhere...

I'm remoreseful for becoming the kind of person I detest.

I just descovered that my girlfriend of 3 1/2 years has, again, cheated on me, thus forcing me to confront her and end the relationship.

I want to take the lives of my obnoxious roommates.

I just don't care.

Sometimes I just want to 'let go of the wheel'
'is the mail here yet?'

Why not suicide?
 

kt2222

Active member
i think that it;s a good step that you have vented your anger on here.

but i would suggest that having these kinds of thoughts and feeling that low and depressed that pro help is really your only step now.

x
 

Twirl

Member
I actually think what you're going through is good. I think you start to find freedom when you begin to not give a Fuck about whatever it is that you are giving such fuck about that's causing you so much pain. I've heard all my life that you must exhaust all possibilities before you throw in the towel and I think you could be on the brink of something. Only it's the opposite of what you're thinking. Just let go of the wheel, dude, and see where the wild ride called "Life" takes you. It's a real possibility worth trying. See what happens when you no longer give a fuck what anyone else thinks of you and no longer care how you come across to the world. It's worth a try. And I think you'll be surprised by the results.
 

Ky

Member
Because things always get better in the future no matter how bad they appear to be in the present.
 

BashfulDoll

Well-known member
Ky said:
Because things always get better in the future no matter how bad they appear to be in the present.

honestly, that sounds like a line from a movie [imo] but im sure you meant it with the best intentions. :lol:
 

Patrick123

Well-known member
Fuck it, I just took 8 mg of ativan (16 pills) and I'm thinking of following it with 10 (10mg) ambien -washing it down with vodka. Why not...
 
Why not? Because you can do anything you want with your life. you can start all over again. You can end to life you have now, not by killing yourself, but by starting fresh.
Please call someone if you did take those pills, and please don't take any more.
 
Patrick123 said:
Fuck it. Seriously, fuck it.


Fuck it fuck it fuck it.

I'm not trying to be an asshole or put you down when I say this. But typically anyone that asks why not suicide / why not kill myself / I'm gonna pop some pills blahblah more than likely ISN'T going to kill themselves. Someone that wants to kill them self will do it and not look for someone to tell them not to / reasons why they shouldn't. That being said, if everything is that bad for you, you should go seek some help. Have you tried counseling? Some kind of therapy? I see you said you're taking Lexapo, which I never really believe in drugs to treat depression or anything for myself but won't tell others it won't work for them. How long ago did you start taking the Lexapro? Remember, it could take a few weeks to a few months before these drugs actually become effective. It has to build up in your system. Just hang in there, shits not as bad as it seems. Most of us on this board have been pretty down in the dumps too.
 

Livingwithoutlivin

Well-known member
I've been taking xanax every now and then and I'm starting to get the feeling It's making me have less control of my thoughts or body. I mean, I was only taking 1.5 mg, and then 2 days ago, I decided to take 2mg to go see a movie with my ex. Well, later on he told me that I looked anxious and sad at the cinema, so I was confused, how could that be when I took 2mg, that's exactly what I didnt' want to happen. I know that i was sleeping throughout the movie, but I guess my sadness and anxiety is denting into my face.
 
How do you know it was the xanax that made you "look" this way? Don't let someone else interpretations of you look affect how you think you feel.

If it was the xanax, just remember taking more necessarily doesn't make it work better. It could actually have an adverse effect, especially if you've been taking 1.5 for a short time or significantly long time.

Hell, my first panic attack was caused by taking too much Claritin thinking it would help my allergies out more.
 

Patrick123

Well-known member
update, I guess

The same day I started this thread I was admitted to the ER as the result of an overdose. In the end, I took over 30 .5mg ativan pills (equivelant to 150mg of valium, for those who aren't familiar with the potency of ativan), 4 10mg ambien pills, and chased it with about 10 beers. My esophogus collapsed and I was put on a resperator. I was given a 50/50 chance of survival -or so the nurse said. Obviously, I pulled through...

Yeah, I think I need some help...
 
Hey, don't be self-destructive if you think this will make people feel sorry for you. It won't. That's playing the victim. Suicide is one of the most selfish acts in the world. You live, and sometimes bad things happen, but you get over it. And you learn from it. You're not the only person in the world with trouble, you know. I am not out to harangue you, if you have problems seek help. We all need help once in a while. It's your choice, but if I was you I would choose life. There's always tommorow to begin anew. Have hope! :)

Look at my username: Angelus Novus. It's a painting by Paul Klee. It is the inspiration for Walter Benjamins 'Angel of history'. "the angel of history. His face is turned towards the past. Where we perceive a chain of events, he sees one single catastrophe which keeps piling wreckage upon wreckage." The winds of progress propell him forward into the future, but all the while his head is turned toward the past. Walking backwards into the future. This is the philosophy of life. Sometimes we lose our footing, we lose, we experience loss. But the key is to keep going, because nothing teaches us better than experience. You only gain experience from failure. You move into the future by using guideposts from the past. If you can take the suffering and learn from it you will come out the other side a stronger person.

Joseph Conrad talked about something similar: He wants us to submit to what he calls the 'destructive element' (pain, suffering etc.) cause only this way can we gain experience and become stronger people. I'm not saying, seek out trouble..but if it does come, in your case, don't be a coward. Deal with it! Learn from it! Have hope, faith and will..

May cowards tremble at lofty waves,
To you they bring good fortune!
You know the hidden reefs,
And are familiar with the tempests!

(Conrads father)

Defy misfortune, be a fighter. Deal with your problems, don't commit suicide.
 

Patrick123

Well-known member
Really?

AngelusNovus,

I think it's quite obvious that I did not, in fact, commit suicide.

And please, don't label me a coward; depression and anxiety are serious illnesses which have the ability to displace any sort of logic or compassion which a person would normally possess. While it's apparent that I've lost my grip on my own emotional retention, it's quite clear that you have no idea what you're talking about.

To have possessed such an astounding amount of narcotics (ativan and ambien), one would have to have seen a psychiatrist, or have one hell of a drug dealer. I was prescribed my medication by the former. It's not as simple as you seem to believe; medication and counseling aren't a panacea.

It has been my understanding that this was a forum for venting and networking. I didn't post my initial message for sympathy; I was confused and looking for some bit of understanding.

It's not my intention to be an asshole, but I would appreciate it if you didn't try to berate me with pseudo philosophy and references to your posting name -which clearly indicate your own illusions of grandeur.

Trust me; you're not as smart as you think you are...

Thanks, though, to everybody else for the help!!!
 

no1

Banned
why not suicide? because everyone is raised believing that suicide is a sin, or that you are giving up on life, etc. I think a human being has every damn right to commit suicide if it is done in honor and integrity.
 

BashfulDoll

Well-known member
no1 said:
why not suicide? because everyone is raised believing that suicide is a sin, or that you are giving up on life, etc. I think a human being has every damn right to commit suicide if it is done in honor and integrity.

couldn't have said it better myself. why continue to suffer everyday of your life till you eventually die? just cuz someone will miss you? to me THATS selfish
 

Weirdo

Well-known member
no1 said:
why not suicide? because everyone is raised believing that suicide is a sin, or that you are giving up on life, etc. I think a human being has every damn right to commit suicide if it is done in honor and integrity.

exactly! when I said this on one health forum, they thought i was nuts :lol:
 
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