Why making decisions seems so difficult?!?

[Dark angel]

I don't understand why it so difficult for me to do some decisions and "moving forward". I get so scared when it comes to taking the next step on some aspect of my life. For example, I've said here before that one of my aspirations is to become a doctor. Quite a difficult thing to do when you don't no confidence in yourself whatsoever and you don't trust your own instinct to the point where you get paralyzed doing certain tasks. But this has been a dream of mine since I was a little girl. I'm about to graduate from my bachelor's degree after this summer and I know what the next step should be(taking the admissions test) but I'm so scared of doing so, and I know t is because of my fear of failure. But the thing is I don't want to keep letting things pass me by.
The other day I went for a drive with my best friend and we pass through a street with several clubs on the sidewalk and a bunch of young people( 18-20 years of age mostly) were hanging out and I couldn't help but notice how I've let my life past me by without doing anything about it and not noticing. It made me so sad watching that and I get emotional thinking about it because I know time cannot be recovered, so those are expereicnes that I won't be able to have anymore. I've let so many opportunities(important ones) go by hiding in my house ,literally and burried in books in my room as an excuse to not dealing with other situations and it makes me angry and sad all at the same time.::
I'm currently 25 and I can't be doubting what my actions should be in order to get where I want to be. Specially when it comes to a career as medicine that requires several years of study and it is preferable to start as soon as posible. I can't talk about these feelings to my family because they just won't understand me. They don't know what really goes through my mind and about my fears. And even when I would love them to know all about it, is quite difficult to put in words what SA implies and all my insecurities.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I know a few people who have this problem but I think it's because we put so much importance on 'doing the right thing for the future' when really; in the moment-- it's impossible to see the future.

Have you ever written lists of things you would like to accomplish, and the steps you would need to take to accomplish them?

Have you ever just said 'yes' to everything for one day?

These could be some good experiments to try, I think.
You know you need to do something-- but it's hard to figure out where to start.
I understand that much far too well...
All we can do is try, though.

 

[gustavofring]

Interesting question. I think it's because we're lonely. We lack the basic thing people need to be confident and mentally healthy: sociality. We keep everything in our own heads instead of being able to express ourselves.

If we talk with people about decisions and plans, we put it out there, it becomes a more tangible thing, and people around us can give us support and faith. They can also give us input that can make us weigh our decision better. We need that mental stability of having people around us that care.

I feel like making lists alone doesn't cut it. We are social animals, and if we aren't nurtured by our environment we stray off course.

So yeah, it's part of that vicious circle. That's why overcoming Social Anxiety and AVP etc. is very important in life, if we want to move ahead.

 

[Dark angel]

^^^ That is precisely what I don't like. The whole deal of overcoming SA. Yes, I would very much like to do it. But it takes time, and that is precisely what I don't have. Time doesn't wait for me so that I can decide to make a first step and that is what mortifies me. I don't want to wake up regreting that I didn't fight for what I wanted the most. But, how can I fight against the sensation of being paralyzed by my insecurities and fears? Same thing happened when I started college, beside my passion for medicine, I have love for acting but because of my fear of being surrounded by too much people and what they might thought of me, I didn't made an adicional major on it. And today I regret it so much. It is frustrating.:: I don't want to keep on missing things... But oh, it is so hard.

 

[Jaysonguy]

^^^ That is precisely what I don't like. The whole deal of overcoming SA. Yes, I would very much like to do it. But it takes time, and that is precisely what I don't have. Time doesn't wait for me so that I can decide to make a first step and that is what mortifies me. I don't want to wake up regreting that I didn't fight for what I wanted the most. But, how can I fight against the sensation of being paralyzed by my insecurities and fears? Same thing happened when I started college, beside my passion for medicine, I have love for acting but because of my fear of being surrounded by too much people and what they might thought of me, I didn't made an adicional major on it. And today I regret it so much. It is frustrating.:: I don't want to keep on missing things... But oh, it is so hard.

Why not do things that expose you just a bit to others?

Like gaming in random matches with a headset, you only have to talk when you feel like it and you're still interacting with others, as time goes on you can become more vocal and go from there.

It's not realistic that one day everything clears and you're all set, it's a gradual process that's going to have it's ups and downs.

 

[hidwell]

^^^ That is precisely what I don't like. The whole deal of overcoming SA. Yes, I would very much like to do it. But it takes time, and that is precisely what I don't have. Time doesn't wait for me so that I can decide to make a first step and that is what mortifies me. I don't want to wake up regreting that I didn't fight for what I wanted the most. But, how can I fight against the sensation of being paralyzed by my insecurities and fears? Same thing happened when I started college, beside my passion for medicine, I have love for acting but because of my fear of being surrounded by too much people and what they might thought of me, I didn't made an adicional major on it. And today I regret it so much. It is frustrating.:: I don't want to keep on missing things... But oh, it is so hard.

I think you are far to hard on yourself, the fact that you have nearly qualified to be a doctor is a huge success for which you should feel justly proud. No one in this life is perfect, so try and focus on all of your achievements and ignore that little voice in the background that tries to put you down.