Why do men *sigh* when they see a girl and then...

TooShyShy said:

Also, I never view him as pathetic let me just say that..what decent woman would? No one's perfect, we all have issues to over come.

Wow, that is such a sweet and compassionate thing to say! 🙂 I wish everyone thought that way.

Also why didn't you answer Dave McF's question? Maybe he thinks you are attached to someone else.

Do you talk a lot to him giving him enough material for an interaction between you two? Does he know enough about you in order to make little jokes or comments about your life? Do you blab all your business to him so he even knows what to say around you?

If you're posting on a social phobia website, maybe he's reflecting the kind of behavior he might be getting off of you - social phobic.

Oh sorry-

I work in the building with him..there are only 3 men the rest of us are female, him being one of the few guys, he's the only single one..the other two are married and the most i would say is hello to them and ask how they are doing from time to time but thats it!!!

He is the only one i will try to talk to the way i do. The other two guys even though they are married are very talkative and friendly. My shy guy is as well he can talk up a storm with everyone, men and women..accept with me.

I can be extremely shy myself BUT thats only withh him..i can put myself out there and speak to him but sometimes its so awkward. Its when he gets nervous and quiet that i get all shy myself..but i will still try bcuz i believe he's worth it.

Somedays are just easier than others. He's in maetenance so i always ask him to help me out with things..he never says no!!!!! He comes in right away 😀

Maybe i shoud start telling him things about my life, just blurt it out whe i see him..i am sure i could muster up some interesting stories. Mostly we talk about work related things.

Good idea.

Klaus-

So even if she asked you out - you would have said no?

Knowing she liked you wouldn't have mattered then huh 😢

wow he sounds so much like me. Although i do think i'm pathetic.

ventriloone..

So, why do you feel that way about yourself??? In what ways are you like him?

Would you believe a girl would like you and would you be able to pick up on the signals..would it matter if she tried???

i think anyone no matter how dense would pick up on your signals if what you say is true and unembelished. Although i still doubt i'd have the courage to ask her out

His behaviour sounds exactly like what mine would be . That's why i say i sound like him .

TooShyShy said:

Klaus-

So even if she asked you out - you would have said no?

Knowing she liked you wouldn't have mattered then huh 😢

Yes, I would say no...
My SA was even worst when I was a teenager.

i'd have said yes but i would likely have puked before the date and with that breath she'd want nothing to do with me anyways.

Uhhhhhh **sigh** now i i'm doing it.


Should i give up..is this a lost cause? And i agree he has to know..there's no way he hasn't picked up on my signals. Maybe all the sadness when he looks at me (and nervousness) comes from him knowing he can't overcome his anxiety.



😢

it's a bit presumptious to assume he has anxiety because he's nervous around girls. I was nervous around girls before i had my anxiety, there is a difference.

Its only me he's anxious around and i'm a girl 😀 maybe in other areas of his life he is fine..could be. I do know others have said he can be very quiet and shy at times whenever 'women of interest' are involved. He seems to have it together otherwise - its just around me. And he seems very inexperienced about what to do!!!!!

So i assume its an attraction...a crush? At least thats the way it looks bcuz he is always "looking at me'' until i look back at him, walking by me until he has the courage to say hello, he only holds my glance when we are standing very far apart..looks across the room type thing.

So i am assuming its me. He is so charming and funny with everyone else...women, men, married people, old, young, etc. its just me for whatever reason and only he knows why.

TooShyShy said:

put there head down???

I would do that if i saw a girl i liked, but thought i would have no chance with.

This make me remember every girl who ever had a crush on me and how I ran like the wind to get away from them. I've been such a tool all my life.

I must admit the feeling was never mutual. At least I'm fairly certain any girl I ever liked didn't like me back. It probably wouldn't have mattered. I'd still have ran away. Girls are scary.

cuz all women seem to be full of it.

TooShyShy said:

Its only me he's anxious around and i'm a girl 😀 maybe in other areas of his life he is fine..could be. I do know others have said he can be very quiet and shy at times whenever 'women of interest' are involved. He seems to have it together otherwise - its just around me. And he seems very inexperienced about what to do!!!!!

So i assume its an attraction...a crush? At least thats the way it looks bcuz he is always "looking at me'' until i look back at him, walking by me until he has the courage to say hello, he only holds my glance when we are standing very far apart..looks across the room type thing.

So i am assuming its me. He is so charming and funny with everyone else...women, men, married people, old, young, etc. its just me for whatever reason and only he knows why.

I haven't read this whole thread so I dunno what's been and said etc. but if you like this guy you should actually just sit down with him and tell him you don't care about his shyness or performance anxiety and that you don't think less of him because he can't pursue very well. That's easily the most reassuring thing a girl could say to guys like us.

I don't care that he's shy as long as he tries and he does.

ALL last week he was hanging around where ever i was (its very obvious at this point) and everytime he would leave the room...he'd look back at me and i would just look at him speechless. He's never close enough for me to do or ay anything else.

I don't know if he does this to see if i am looking while he leaves..or maybe to make eye contact since he talks to others when he's "hanging out" a few feet away from me - this has been his thing lately so i am not sure but i think if i had the opportunity to talk to him alone i would to tell him i was willing to work through it.

I just don't think HE thinks he has a problem since he is so easy going & relaxed with everyone else.

Why shy males sigh, put their head down and then walk away? They don't believe in themselves, they don't have the courage to walk up to a girl, start a conversation and take it further on from there. They fear rejection and humiliation, and then seeing a beautiful girl who they yearn for, but think they can't get just makes them sad. That's at least how I perceive it^^.

It just seems a bit crazy IF you know the girl wants you, if you were told by a coworker or friend and she is there feeling the same way as you and waiting...

I just don't get it.