why do men need to be confident?

[Jesushasomeoneforme]

Why do us men need to be confident around women. Having social anxiety can effect our confidemce. If were not confident women won't even give us a second look. I feel very depressed. If it weren't for medications for sa I would kill myself because I can't get one female to like me. I love me a lot.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

maybe you should try men?

 

[Pookah]

Everyone needs confidence these days. SA affects all levels of interaction, especially the one to which you refer. We're all working with a handicap around here.

 

[Tiercel]

I think it comes down to this: if you don't think you're worth it, no one else will either. Even if you do think you're worth it, you need a way of conveying that to others whom you meet (meaning you need confidence). Would you rather be with someone who makes you feel better about yourself or someone who constantly looks to you for validation?

Like Pookah said, everyone who uses this site is handicapped. Or as I like to put it, socially retarded. And yes, that makes everything involving other people more difficult for us. But with the right attitude, lots of scary hard work, and enough support, I honestly think that everyone here could get their problems down to manageable levels.

And I've never read a post where you pined for a male companion, so maybe you can leave all the men to Lorraine. I hear that they only ever want sex anyway.

 

[illuminationSP]

Why do us men need to be confident around women. If were not confident women won't even give us a second look.

I've still been loved, liked or noticed by the opposite sex and I'm without confidence...

 

[GhoulsNightOut]

I actually don't mind when a guy seems nervous/lacks confidence around me. I take it as a huge compliment! I guess that would only come from a social phobic chick lol

 

[illuminationSP]

I actually don't mind when a guy seems nervous/lacks confidence around me. I take it as a huge compliment! I guess that would only come from a social phobic chick lol

Yeah, many girls approve of that timidness. I personally prefer shy girls instead of confident ones, so it goes both ways.

 

[worrywort]

Why do us men need to be confident around women. Having social anxiety can effect our confidemce. If were not confident women won't even give us a second look. I feel very depressed. If it weren't for medications for sa I would kill myself because I can't get one female to like me. I love me a lot.

I hear ya man! I know the feeling VERY well! ::

but don't worry man....you're perfect the way you are....just focus on yourself and your own battles.....and someday....god willing.....love will find you.

You don't have to be superman to be an attractive person. I know, for me, I've always found myself way more attracted to messed up girls with issues etc. I love the underdogs, and I'm sure there's a lot of girls out there who feel the same.

You love yourself right? so that's a great start....I'm sure you have tonnes of lovable qualities.....you're just undiscovered!

 

[fudgy]

jesus might have someone for you but you need to help out

I am only going to say what has been said ...

You get what you put out , like attracts like...

You don't have to be an extrovert , the one who holds the party together , the loudest voice , the one who will captivate the full rooms' attention.

personally in a room full of people I will be attracted to the one who keeps his own council quietly somewhere and doesn't attract attention.

you have to start at the begining , alone ... stood staring in the mirror saying ..." you are fabulous no matter what" with a big smile on your face ,your head held high and bollox to the world.

You have sa
I have ocd
him over there has agoraphobia

we all have a cross to bear on this site , we have it , it wont go away unless we try harder than most people, we have this hanging over us ...but ... it has to start within if any healing can be done.

I hope your ok and jesus too

 

[fudgy]

I want to give you a visual example of what I am prattling on about.

You walk in a room and someone is sat crying their eyes out , imagine it ...your mood will drop , your face will change , your voice will even change its tone , everything about you will reflect that persons misery because its natural for us to empathise and switch our mode to a low/high tone to suit the mood of the situation.

Now walk in a room where someone is laughing...laughing so much they are rocking back and forth and holding their stomach ..... I am smiling just thinking about it haha .... you would give a total different response to ^^^ the one above , your face , voice , mood and actions will now mirror that happiness if even for a short while.

See how much control the person in the room had ? See how they can change the total mood and setting just by what they are giving out ?

I hope you can see what I am saying.

 

[BlackPuma]

I don't think that's true at all. Some may go for the confident guy, and some may go for that shy, less confident guy. Confident or not, it's how you act within your own level of confidence that seals your fate around them. Your unconsciously displayed body language speaks louder then your voice.

The fact that you're uncomfortable around them, might make them uncomfortable to be around you. Try to forget about the whole relationship/hookup/love thing when you're around girls. It takes the majority of the pressure off.

Because really, girls and women are people just like guys. There is no reason why they should be so scary to a male beholder.

My apologies if that was a little bit blunt. ^W^;