Why do I want to cry when I think about love?

[ImNotMyIllness]

I think you're very conflicted. You yearn for love but are terrified of being hurt. Love is a natural emotion and something all humans need.
Hopefully, you meet someone and everything works out.

 

[BlueDays]

It often comes down to feeling that you don't deserve the love. Someone once told me that kids who grow up without a sense of love and security and affection will often become adults who are unable to love or receive love.

"we accept the love we think we deserve"― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

^Very true.:sad:


I came to believe that because my own father never had any desire to be in my life at all I found it hard to accept that any other man would want to be around me.

Unfortunately not having the natural love/acceptance you're supposed to receive from a father then led to me developing a low self-esteem. That then led to accepting the first guy that was prepared to be in a relationship with me, even though it was a really toxic situation.

It is extremely difficult to allow yourself to be vulnerable and exposed in love when you have not had any positive experiences to use as a good foundation.

 

[greggy]

I didn't know where to post this, it's not directly a love problem so I decided to post it here.

It's very simple but I don't know why it happens...

I don't have a boyfriend and I've always had problems with this, not that I think I'm ugly, I feel more like I'm not adequate, or "I don't know" how to be.


Everytime I start feelings for someone or I imagine the idea of showing love or recveing love, I feel like I'm a little girl in the middle of the woods, terrified and about to cry. And I don't like to feel that way. It's as if I wanted to be just like this, not feeling those things because it's a lot of sadness.

I even stopped reading a movie because the main character was too lovely . I feel very stupid saying this but this is how I feel when it comes about love. I feel too exposed, too vulnerable and it's sad, and I can't stand it.

:sad::sad:

Hey I feel exactly the same as you, My cousin has just got divorced and in the space of 3 mounths he's had 2 girlfriends! And it seems the girls are lining up to be with him! I just know this would not happen to me and that makes me feel empty inside. And to make things worse there is a girl I really like that told me she only likes me as a friend. Story of my life. I hope things improve for you!

 

[Nightjar]

I didn't know where to post this, it's not directly a love problem so I decided to post it here.

It's very simple but I don't know why it happens...

I don't have a boyfriend and I've always had problems with this, not that I think I'm ugly, I feel more like I'm not adequate, or "I don't know" how to be.


Everytime I start feelings for someone or I imagine the idea of showing love or recveing love, I feel like I'm a little girl in the middle of the woods, terrified and about to cry. And I don't like to feel that way. It's as if I wanted to be just like this, not feeling those things because it's a lot of sadness.

I even stopped reading a movie because the main character was too lovely . I feel very stupid saying this but this is how I feel when it comes about love. I feel too exposed, too vulnerable and it's sad, and I can't stand it.

:sad::sad:

Strange you should write this for I feel almost the same. I long to be loved and to love but it has never happened. In fact I am scared to find love. I am one that hides my emotions and feelings and only let them out when I am by myself. Books and movies that portray love up set me for they remind me of what I long for and have not got. And yes I to feel vulnerable and scared to be hurt. But I think I no the reason for my problem and it stems from my childhood.