Why am I the only one who post in the AvPD forum?
- Thread starter April72
- Start date
DepravedFurball
Well-known member
I'm avoiding the avoidant forum?
Lol! Laugh if you want, but you haven't said a nonsense. Many avoidants haven't got the confidence enough even to begin a new thread.
DepravedFurball
Well-known member
I don't think I even made a proper into-thread... merely hijacked someone else's saying 'Oh, I'm new, too!'.
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Ah, well. The easiest way for me to *avoid* thinking that people might take my comments the wrong way, or believe that I'm just an idiot, is to simply not post anything at all.
All too often I'll type out a reply to a post or comment, then edit it five times, and finally just delete the entire thing.
Plus... I have an innate belief that if I ever *do* create a thread, then there's undoubtedly gonna be some people out there that think I'm only looking for attention. I combat that hypothetical by keeping quiet. Yay, me.
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Ah, well. The easiest way for me to *avoid* thinking that people might take my comments the wrong way, or believe that I'm just an idiot, is to simply not post anything at all.
All too often I'll type out a reply to a post or comment, then edit it five times, and finally just delete the entire thing.
Plus... I have an innate belief that if I ever *do* create a thread, then there's undoubtedly gonna be some people out there that think I'm only looking for attention. I combat that hypothetical by keeping quiet. Yay, me.
DepravedFurball
Well-known member
Odd... posted twice. Silly satellite-connection.
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Another reason to stay silent, damnit.
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Another reason to stay silent, damnit.
YellowBird
Well-known member
some people are even shy to write online?
I don't think I even made a proper into-thread... merely hijacked someone else's saying 'Oh, I'm new, too!'.
<.<
>.>
Ah, well. The easiest way for me to *avoid* thinking that people might take my comments the wrong way, or believe that I'm just an idiot, is to simply not post anything at all.
All too often I'll type out a reply to a post or comment, then edit it five times, and finally just delete the entire thing.
Plus... I have an innate belief that if I ever *do* create a thread, then there's undoubtedly gonna be some people out there that think I'm only looking for attention. I combat that hypothetical by keeping quiet. Yay, me.
Lol! I was called "attention seeker" some time ago. I don't blame the guy who told it, bc he saw that my nickname is repeated in the subforum over and over again. But, does he really know me to make a judgement like that? No, he doesn't.
The same with you and other avoidants. Perhaps, someone can judge your posts but they don't know anything about you. Their judgements are going to be wrong and the most part of the users are not gonna judge you bc we are avoidants and we know what it means and how much it hurts.
They are avoidants. So, it's not so much being shy as avoiding critising. (Sorry if I haven't written this sentence well. I tried it the very best).
I also noticed here and in other forums that avoidant males have even moré difficult to participate. I'm sure there are many reasons but I think it's bc they are moré prone to block out their feelings.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
I'm avoidant, but I just post in the main forums for some reason. Probably attributed to laziness.
My last post was on the social anxiety forum as it wasnt specific to avpd and more people post/reply there.
I had been getting on with things pretty well until now so I guess I come on here more when I'm not coping so well and I hate just posting negative things and moaning.
I had managed to completely piss off my therapist a while back but I turned it round and therapy has been going really well since. We talked about it yesterday and I agreed that it has been going well and that I had done a positive thing and was doing better. He was happy not only that I am, but that I had allowed myself to accept that - normally I will not accept any praise or positive comments. It felt good but I said it felt uncomfortable too so we stopped talking about it. I then really couldn't think of much to say and it was only when I left I realised I had (unconsciously) lied about something and that there had been things I wanted to talk about and had mentioned none of them. So I guess I shut down after the positive comment and am now beating myself up about it and feeling like I am failing again. I can see what I am doing right now and I know what he would say to me but I still feel down about it and frustrated. I don't know why I make it so hard on myself :kickingmyself:
I had been getting on with things pretty well until now so I guess I come on here more when I'm not coping so well and I hate just posting negative things and moaning.
I had managed to completely piss off my therapist a while back but I turned it round and therapy has been going really well since. We talked about it yesterday and I agreed that it has been going well and that I had done a positive thing and was doing better. He was happy not only that I am, but that I had allowed myself to accept that - normally I will not accept any praise or positive comments. It felt good but I said it felt uncomfortable too so we stopped talking about it. I then really couldn't think of much to say and it was only when I left I realised I had (unconsciously) lied about something and that there had been things I wanted to talk about and had mentioned none of them. So I guess I shut down after the positive comment and am now beating myself up about it and feeling like I am failing again. I can see what I am doing right now and I know what he would say to me but I still feel down about it and frustrated. I don't know why I make it so hard on myself :kickingmyself:
Stop the beating! Therapy is never going to be one straight, upwards line, there are always going to be steps forward and what feel like steps backwards again. Doesn't mean you're not still slowly going forward. Seeing what you're doing is a first step.
I think a lot of us here are very good on making things hard for ourselves. I do it all the time. My advice for you: just come on here and post whenever you want to, don't worry about being negative or moaning. We understand!
I think a lot of us here are very good on making things hard for ourselves. I do it all the time. My advice for you: just come on here and post whenever you want to, don't worry about being negative or moaning. We understand!
Stop the beating! Therapy is never going to be one straight, upwards line, there are always going to be steps forward and what feel like steps backwards again. Doesn't mean you're not still slowly going forward. Seeing what you're doing is a first step.
I think a lot of us here are very good on making things hard for ourselves. I do it all the time. My advice for you: just come on here and post whenever you want to, don't worry about being negative or moaning. We understand!
Thank you Aylaa. Very wise words. Focusing on the good and not criticising myself are things I am working on but struggle with so very much. It does help knowing other people have the same struggles. I avoid talking to people about it because it's so hard to describe and it doesn't even make sense to me. I think it must just sound like I'm making life hard on myself and complaining over nothing.