Where does your social phobia come from?

KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
and how does it manifest itself?

I am curious to know how others feel and how it came about. Sometimes I am so unsure of myself and the world that I dont even know if it is social phobia or whether I am just....a bit strange.

To give you an example of what I am asking I will tell you about how I feel, and how what I percieve my problem to be.

I believe that SP is mostly due to world experience as we grow up. I think that core beliefs are formed during childhood and ingrained into our beings as adults. I will admit that I feel quite bitter and cynical towards people, although I do try my best to be as forthcoming as possible.

There is something about me that is adding to my increasing paranoia, I lack social nicities, even if I am "Nice". I can FEEL people looking at me and I am often baffled by how afraid and closed off from people are by one another.

I dont have a lot of friends you see, so I tend to overcompensate by just talking to people I dont know and introducing myself, but I can feel people assessing me whether or not I am "good enough" or an "equal" and as to whether or not they would want to associate with someone like me. (Most often not...I walk funny, bald, and look kind of goofy)

Due to my SP, I have an egalitarianistic view of how I think people should deal with each other. I am not fond of rejection, and it upsets me greatly.. although on a rational level understand that it is part of life.

Anyway I could go on, but I wanted to make this more about others, rather than me. I am looking for answers, because sometimes I feel I just dont understand the world, because most people seem to be unwilling to talk about how they feel in the real world, I thought I would ask here

mmm..thanks for taking it seriously....I should of known better.
 
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Uber Schnitzel

Uber Schnitzel

Well-known member
Hyperhidrosis as well, the actual condition itself and growing up hiding it from everyone. You'd be surprised (well around here ppl would understand) how much not being able to touch another person will f**k you up. I'm much more on top of the condition now and more open about things, I tend to wear everything on my sleeve now. As for the SA I'd say I'm pretty much "cured", it doesn't have the same grip on me it used to have.
 
evi

evi

1
My social phobia came from my upbringing. I am 51 years old now and I have suffered with SA since I was 19. My parents are both holocaust survivors. Although my mother is the sweetest person in the world, my father is an angry, abusive, and bitter man. He took this anger out on both me and my brother in the form of physical and emotional abuse. When I was young and didn't understand the holocaust, I could never understand why my father was angry. When I reached my teenage years, I understood what happened to them, but I still couldn't understand why he would take his rage out on us.
WE WERE NOT THERE IT WASN'T OUR FAULT!!!
 
Fear of people

Fear of people

Well-known member
ShyKiwi said:
and how does it manifest itself?

I am curious to know how others feel and how it came about. Sometimes I am so unsure of myself and the world that I dont even know if it is social phobia or whether I am just....a bit strange.

To give you an example of what I am asking I will tell you about how I feel, and how what I percieve my problem to be.

I believe that SP is mostly due to world experience as we grow up. I think that core beliefs are formed during childhood and ingrained into our beings as adults. I will admit that I feel quite bitter and cynical towards people, although I do try my best to be as forthcoming as possible.

There is something about me that is adding to my increasing paranoia, I lack social nicities, even if I am "Nice". I can FEEL people looking at me and I am often baffled by how afraid and closed off from people are by one another.

I dont have a lot of friends you see, so I tend to overcompensate by just talking to people I dont know and introducing myself, but I can feel people assessing me whether or not I am "good enough" or an "equal" and as to whether or not they would want to associate with someone like me. (Most often not...I walk funny, bald, and look kind of goofy)

Due to my SP, I have an egalitarianistic view of how I think people should deal with each other. I am not fond of rejection, and it upsets me greatly.. although on a rational level understand that it is part of life.

Anyway I could go on, but I wanted to make this more about others, rather than me. I am looking for answers, because sometimes I feel I just dont understand the world, because most people seem to be unwilling to talk about how they feel in the real world, I thought I would ask here

mmm..thanks for taking it seriously....I should of known better.
Click to expand...

I think my SA comes from my parents...as both of my parents were shy in nature and mainly kept to themselves and had few friends when I was a child and maybe I have my parents traits...but then again who knows exactly why I have SA.
 
drumev

drumev

Active member
Poor parenting did it for me. And of course some personal characteristics. Since my family enjoyed to belittle and embarrass me in front of other people and at the same time destroy my self-reliance instincts, I grew up feeling inferior and I having all sorts of issues. That manifested in the unlocking of my social phobia the first time I changed the enviroment (entering high school).
 
Lost Girl

Lost Girl

Well-known member
A lot of bad experiences from my childhood which led to low self confidence and self-belief. I learned that people in general are not to be trusted and will prey on the weak. I am weak and too trusting, so I fear practically everyone.
 
Damaged

Damaged

Well-known member
I really don't know, it could of built up from all the guys that have treated me bad, my dad leaving my mum all the stressful situations.

But sometimes i think my agoraphobia was because of my ex bf. As i was fine before i met him, and a month into our relationship i started having panic attacks and now without him im finally getting better.
 
Elenwen

Elenwen

1
We moved around a lot when I was growing up and I never managed to develop the proper social skills. As well, since we moved so much and I changed schools so much, I was always the new kid and therefore always being judged/assessed. I think that carried over into my personality even when we finally did manage to settle down.
 
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