When people are not that friendly when you are!!!

[grapevine]

:thumbdown:

Yep,

So I know other people must experience this- but it really gets me some days.

I recognise in myself as a person whom has been unsocial for so long has conversational *issues* a little- (meaning personally I quickly respond and over-talk in pauses and get really energetic in my speech)-

BUT- when I invest my time into people - to actually actively listen and to be friendly - I am sick of being people ignoring me or over-talking me to other people whilst still in conversation,

You know- to go away feeling un-important - or un-respected after these social situations is really horrible.

You wonder if - I talked loud enough- or maybe they can sense my social insecurity? Things like that.

Does anyone feel like this???

 

[ZenRain]

I understand that exact feeling. I don't really have any good advice for it tho, because I just end up never talking in groups. However, some conversations will just flow like that, people talking over each other. Try to find a group that will at least pull back and ask what you said...

 

[FriendlyShadow]

You're not alone because I think I've been having the same problem even ever since I was little, no matter how kind I was to most people or just being helpful/thoughtful, it's as if people looked at that and thought they could take me for granted because of that, and they think that I'm the one who should owe it up to them or something. I think the root of the problem is that I am so shy/people pleaser types that I just give in and tolerate people taking their problems out on me or criticizing me constantly about "You are too quiet!" "You can't be a mute" I sometimes wonder to myself when people tell me these things so brusquely if they stop to think how I will react to it. I don't know if they realize that it affects me and they continue to talk down on me and be harsh, or if it's just they really are too clueless to figure out how much damage that it causes me to hear them say these things. I feel so ashamed of myself because of this, because of who I am. People are only interested in bashing me if I have different standards/opinions opposed to them, it's quite sad.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

I should also add that almost everyone who's ever been around me or who I came across are either hostile, nasty, or just plain ignorant. I feel like I attract a lot of haters for some reason, maybe I give off some kind of aura that tends to make people behave so vicious towards me. That's why it's harder to accept when there is someone who is nice to me because I feel inside that I deserve to be treated like crap. What with being yelled at, people controlling me, back stabbed, disrespected, there's no way in hell I can tell myself I deserve being treated good. I just don't get why it seems that I'm the only one that suffers the most with these problems, and I take a look at the people I've been with and they seem fine.