what would you do?

[kuze]

I went to walmart on saturday and the usual stuff happened, ppl gawked and stared at me like I was a freak. I have scoliosis and facial abnormalities, this causes my agoraphobia, its been like this for a long time. I want so much to be alive but this problem stands in my way. I always read about the typical advice, 'ignore them, if they cant accept you, its their loss'. It sounds good on paper but when ur in a place as large and as crowded as walmart and everybody close to you is staring, it hard to find the resolve to go about ur business and be calm. I feel like a lowly human being when I go out, I cant escape the fact that i'm not like you, I daydream about being able to go to a store and not be noticed. After these encounters, the usual happens, I keep a fairly good face in the car and as soon as I get back in my room, I break down internally, its monday now and I'm still depressed. I've been thinking all the time about how to make sense of my life, I cant be in here for ever. How will I build relationships? Will I ever meet a woman? Will I get a good job? Will I always be depressed? These are the questions that race through my head everday. My question is, if you were me, your ugly, there is no surgery for you, you have no friends, no social skills. How would you deal with it? how would you make something of this?

 

[recluse]

I know it sounds cliche but true beauty comes form within, and if people can't accept you because of how you look then they are not worthy people.

 

[kuze]

idk whats wrong with my face, its asymetrical, everything on the right is higher than the left and my bottom lip is protruding and very large, it must be some rare genetic problem. My mom never talks to me about it either

 

[kuze]

makes no sense now, im technically healthy, there is probably no chance of plastic surgery, or it might be too expensive.

 

[Day_Tripper]

Get a hobby, become good at something.

 

[Helyna]

Do something crazy. Like dye your hair bright green. This says, "I don't care if you stare at me, I'm confident with myself!"
If you lie enough, it could come true.

 

[lettypagb]

8O , :lol: thats funny ,sorry ... u know ,those spanish countries they do plastic surgery for like 1000 ,with the passport and stuff more 500 ...hope u get better with the plastic

 

[kuze]

I dont necessarily believe i can get surgery, I know I'll have to live like this for a long time. Its just I dont know how to feel good enough to be something. I wish I could make friends again like when I was younger, just knowing that there are ppl that value me would be nice, until then I'll always be depressed and lonely like this.

 

[Weltschmerz]

I'll be your friend.

You can write me at: [email protected]