What will you do next month?

Edith

Edith

Well-known member
I'm making changes.

Every month I want my life to be slightly better than the last.

I've done this for a year now. I make a goal for something that i want to accomplish by the end of the month... and then i do it. It sounds a bit silly... a bit too easy even... but really, it can be hard, but its helped an awful lot.

Over the past year I have grown so much, done so many things that I never thought i would do and made some amazing lifelong friends.

Last year my first goal was:

January: "Say yes to at least one invitation."

It took me a bit of courage to actually do it... but when i did it felt amazing!! even though it was an awkward hangout with some co-workers, it felt so good to accomplish that... so i modified January to "Say yes to at least FIVE invitations"... and i did that too!

So every month i did something small... and then something bigger and bigger and bigger... sometimes i did stupid things... and made mistakes, I cried and had some terrible lonely nights... but i wouldn't change a thing!

This past year has been the best of my life, and i will never be the same person again... i have confidence and happiness that i never thought i would have.... I'm actually content, my mind still races from time to time and i still have shyness and anxiety, but i can manage it now. It feels good to know that this can get better.... i really never thought it could.

Based on the success of last year I am continuing my "12 Goal Year"... so far January is going well...

January: "Say "no" even when its hard"
February: "Have a party with old friends..."

What goal would you make for February?
 
lyricalliaisons

lyricalliaisons

Well-known member
That sounds a little like a New Years Resolution (for lack of a better phrase) that I came up with. I decided to do at least one thing each month that scares me. So far, I've done like ten in this one month.

I have no idea what I could pick for February, but I guess it would be to get through school it just started on January 20, & I'm already having a really hard time.

Good luck with anything else you decide to do :D !
 
danstelter

danstelter

Well-known member
That's awesome that your doing that. I used a similar strategy and my life totally changed as well. I think that I am going to continue to use the strategy for the rest of my life because it adds so much fun, as you noted!
My goal in February is to gain skill at managing anxiety when speaking in front of groups!
 
Moonie

Moonie

Well-known member
That's a pretty cool idea. I think I am going to steal your idea of saying yes to an invitation - if, of course, I get invited anywhere. I don't have many friends that would ask me somewhere.. just my sibling.

And my BF and I pretty much aren't talking anymore, so I can't say yes if he tries to invite me out with this couple again.

We'll see!
 
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Dave_McFadden

Well-known member
flakeybarkk said:
I think I'm going to wait until March, at least. February's too darn cold to make big changes just yet
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You could learn to cook...it's a good skill to have in any case, and at least you'd spend February in front of a hot stove...


EDIT: actually, now that I think about this more, I have had "weeks" where I tried to learn a "skill". For example, I spent one week several years ago trying to figure out how to eat with chopsticks. I don't think I'm really good at it, but I'm probably better off for having made the effort....
 
Edith

Edith

Well-known member
Moonie said:
That's a pretty cool idea. I think I am going to steal your idea of saying yes to an invitation - if, of course, I get invited anywhere. I don't have many friends that would ask me somewhere.. just my sibling.

And my BF and I pretty much aren't talking anymore, so I can't say yes if he tries to invite me out with this couple again.

We'll see!
Click to expand...

For me the first time I was invited it was 'easy' to say, "Yes" because it was just some co-workers... but after that when I upped my goal and nobody invited me anywhere it got harder.

One of the invitations that I accepted was from a taxi-driver.

When I got in the cab he struck up this conversation with me; asking me all kinds of questions... which normally makes me uncomfortable... but he was such a sweet little old man that I really didn't mind. His English was really bad and when I told him that I was an ESL teacher he got so excited. When he dropped me off at my place he said, "Can I... er... how do I say... buy you coffee and we speaking more English together?" and normally I would have said, "Um.. I'm sorry... bye!" and ran away... but this time I said, "Um... sure!"

So this old Korean man and I sat on the corner and drank coffee together and just laughed and chatted for 10 minutes or so. Then we shook hands and parted ways.

It may sound strange to say but, that was maybe one of the nicest little moments of my life... after that coffee I realised that I was going to be OK.

So, my advice to you is to try and accept all kinds of 'invitations'... even the out of the ordinary ones. After that day I found myself being more aware of 'invitations'... and more eager to accept them. And I've never looked back.
 
Emmmmy

Emmmmy

Well-known member
Edith said:
It may sound strange to say but, that was maybe one of the nicest little moments of my life... after that coffee I realised that I was going to be OK.
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That made me smile :D I'm really pleased for you.

You've inspired me. All my thinking and theory-making about how I've got this bad just make me dwell on my problems more.
I think taking proper action in a gradual way like your doing is the way forward.
 
kayelle

kayelle

1
Edith said:
So this old Korean man and I sat on the corner and drank coffee together and just laughed and chatted for 10 minutes or so. Then we shook hands and parted ways.

It may sound strange to say but, that was maybe one of the nicest little moments of my life... after that coffee I realised that I was going to be OK.
Click to expand...

That's so nice!
I had a similar experience to that aswell, though I only have a vague memory of it now. I was waiting for a bus home on a crowded street, having an awful panic attack where I was sure I was having a heart attack, and an old man came up to me and just started talking to me. He didn't ask me any questions or try to have a conversation with me, he just talked for about ten minutes until the bus came. I have no idea how much I would have freaked out if he hadn't done that. If i believed in angels, I would be certain he was one!
Anyways, I already have a goal for March which will be giving a presentation to about thirty people in college for fifteen minutes (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!), but for February I think I want to try walking places and going places on my own, I always have a safe person with me or nearby and I HATE it.
 
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duma

Active member
I will start university. And continue to get pestered by my parents to take up a part time job ontop of going to university, they just dont understand the hurdle I am already taking on!
 
freestylemonster

freestylemonster

Banned
This is a really good idea! I'm glad to see it's worked out so awesomely for you!!


I think I'm gonna try to invite the few friends I have to do stuff, and maybe in March I'll start talking to people I don't know.
 
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