black-wings
Well-known member
Obviously everyone here joined in order to share ideas on how to cure S.A. But I'm curious as to what other methods you guys are taking toward getting rid of social phobia?
What steps are you taking towards curing your S.A.
- Thread starter black-wings
- Start date
lyricalliaisons
Well-known member
I didn't join this site to share ideas on how to cure SA. I don't think it can be cured. It can be managed, though. The only people who say they are cured are people who had it very mildly to begin with, or maybe just had it confused with shyness & once their shyness went away or got better, they considered themselves cured of SA, when actually they never had it to begin with. I'm sure I'm not the only person who didn't join this site looking for a cure. That's not what this site's about. It's for people with SA to meet others with SA & realize that they're alone by relating to one another's experiences.
I highly doubt I will ever be rid of this problem, but I am going to a psychiatrist, a therapist, a vocational specialist, & taking medication to help make it easier to cope & hopefully make it somewhat better. But I don't think I'll ever fully be rid of it because it's been with me for pretty much all of my life.
I highly doubt I will ever be rid of this problem, but I am going to a psychiatrist, a therapist, a vocational specialist, & taking medication to help make it easier to cope & hopefully make it somewhat better. But I don't think I'll ever fully be rid of it because it's been with me for pretty much all of my life.
I've been reading a Social Phobia self-help book called Dying of Embarassment. I also attended CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) for 2.5 months which really helped me.
It's really helped lower my anxiety and gave me a more positive outlook but I still make other people nervous which sucks. It must be something like how in a herd of wildebeests or zebras when one of them gets spooked they all do and start running. I'm "spooked" all the time and most other people pick up on it and get "spooked" as well. It used to bother me but I think I'm just accepting it at this point. It doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
It's really helped lower my anxiety and gave me a more positive outlook but I still make other people nervous which sucks. It must be something like how in a herd of wildebeests or zebras when one of them gets spooked they all do and start running. I'm "spooked" all the time and most other people pick up on it and get "spooked" as well. It used to bother me but I think I'm just accepting it at this point. It doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
Luthien
Well-known member
I didn't join this forum to share ideas for cures. I don't know how I feel about the idea of a "cure". I don't really think you can cure SA because I don't really think there is anything really wrong with any of us. I think that we are just a different type of people, a much more sensitive and possibly emotional sort of people. I feel that the way modern society is set up in most countries doesn't allow for diversity of mind and is not equipped to deal with people who think differently. So I don't think we need to be "cured" I think we need to learn how to live with the rest of society. It's just a lot harder because we have to figure it out on our own, since there is no acceptance or empathy in society for the hyper-sensitive.
I joined this forum to hear others talk about their experiences. I wanted to hear what was different and the same. I guess I was just curious, but I end up giving LOTS of advice, but that's just in my nature.
What I am doing towards my own "recovery" is to nurture myself, mostly. I spent my whole life devoting all my energy and attention to others and totally ignored my own needs. So I'm working on recognizing what my needs are and finding the balance between selfishness and selflessness.
I'm also working on quieting the nasty voices in my mind, by noticing them and telling them where they can stick it. The most helpful thing for this, I've found, is yoga and meditation. It's sort of like martial arts training. You ingrain the moves by training so that if a fight arises, you don't think, you only act. This is how meditation helps, you practice observing your thoughts without judgment and quieting your mind in the hopes that one day it will be an automatic to control what thoughts you allow in and what you don't.
And then I'm working on boundaries. This is one of the most important things for me, personally because I am so sensitive to other people and their emotions. I can feel other people's emotions in a very disturbing way and I read Tarot and can intuit things that surprise me. But I've never learned how to protect myself against all the energy and emotion that's just floating around out there. So now I'm trying to learn. Trying to find me in the sea of souls... If that makes any sense. I suppose when I'm around a lot of people there's just so much going on on some other level that I can't explain, but I feel... And my SA is me hiding from that. Hiding from other people and their energy and emotion because I really can't deal with it anymore.
I joined this forum to hear others talk about their experiences. I wanted to hear what was different and the same. I guess I was just curious, but I end up giving LOTS of advice, but that's just in my nature.
What I am doing towards my own "recovery" is to nurture myself, mostly. I spent my whole life devoting all my energy and attention to others and totally ignored my own needs. So I'm working on recognizing what my needs are and finding the balance between selfishness and selflessness.
I'm also working on quieting the nasty voices in my mind, by noticing them and telling them where they can stick it. The most helpful thing for this, I've found, is yoga and meditation. It's sort of like martial arts training. You ingrain the moves by training so that if a fight arises, you don't think, you only act. This is how meditation helps, you practice observing your thoughts without judgment and quieting your mind in the hopes that one day it will be an automatic to control what thoughts you allow in and what you don't.
And then I'm working on boundaries. This is one of the most important things for me, personally because I am so sensitive to other people and their emotions. I can feel other people's emotions in a very disturbing way and I read Tarot and can intuit things that surprise me. But I've never learned how to protect myself against all the energy and emotion that's just floating around out there. So now I'm trying to learn. Trying to find me in the sea of souls... If that makes any sense. I suppose when I'm around a lot of people there's just so much going on on some other level that I can't explain, but I feel... And my SA is me hiding from that. Hiding from other people and their energy and emotion because I really can't deal with it anymore.
M1tCh
Banned
That pretty much sums up how i feel.
Danfalc
Banned
I like this thread,Currently I'm not doing a whole lot to work on my social anxiety.I'm trying to focus on getting back into a normal healthy routine such as sleeping properly and stuff.
Once I feel I have done that to a degree,I will be going back to the gym to force myself to leave the house (I have Agoraphobia) and because I did it a few years back and it helped so much.I'm also trying to get therapy right now.
madness_lover
Well-known member
I didn't join this site looking for a cure. This particular condition I don't think it's something that can be "cured" behind a computer monitor on a forum but rather by directly attacking the source. In other words, confronting people face to face and talking to them. Although I don't think there is something inherently wrong with being less social that the majority.
Rather I joined this site because I could relate to many of the stories being told here. Some of them mirror my own life. It's not easy talking about this sort of stuff with your friends when they are total social butterflies and just 'don't get what the big deal is'. Here I've found people who are a little more like me and that makes me feel so free to express myself. And heck why not? Maybe form a new friendship or two and give advice once in a while.
Being completely honest I don't think what I have is truly SA..or if I do it has to be a mild case. I'm just very insecure due to years of emotional abuse at school. Very self-conscious.
What do I do to overcome it? The best thing I believe someone with social problems can do. Be cruel with myself and throw myself out of my comfort zone. Right now, men make me a little bit uncomfortable because I never spoke with them much in school. So I'm making an effort to step away from my female friends a bit and make conversation with boys. Trial and error. sometimes I screw up horribly but I take note of what I did wrong and remember that for next time. Fear of people staring? I force myself to look back at them straight in the eyes until they turn away no matter how hard I might be shaking.
I also take care of my appearance more to help me boost my self image.
Rather I joined this site because I could relate to many of the stories being told here. Some of them mirror my own life. It's not easy talking about this sort of stuff with your friends when they are total social butterflies and just 'don't get what the big deal is'. Here I've found people who are a little more like me and that makes me feel so free to express myself. And heck why not? Maybe form a new friendship or two and give advice once in a while.
Being completely honest I don't think what I have is truly SA..or if I do it has to be a mild case. I'm just very insecure due to years of emotional abuse at school. Very self-conscious.
What do I do to overcome it? The best thing I believe someone with social problems can do. Be cruel with myself and throw myself out of my comfort zone. Right now, men make me a little bit uncomfortable because I never spoke with them much in school. So I'm making an effort to step away from my female friends a bit and make conversation with boys. Trial and error. sometimes I screw up horribly but I take note of what I did wrong and remember that for next time. Fear of people staring? I force myself to look back at them straight in the eyes until they turn away no matter how hard I might be shaking.
I also take care of my appearance more to help me boost my self image.
bigrob
Well-known member
I'm on four meds atm. Three daily and one for when I have a panic attack.
I joined here. I find seeing others with the same problems and feeling comforting.
I would like to go to therapy. I've tried to go for almost a month now. So far I have managed to call then 3x and made it as far as the parking lot. I don't know why but it gives me anxiety in itself. Maybe I'm afraid of being labeled "crazy" even though the point of going is to get helped.
I joined here. I find seeing others with the same problems and feeling comforting.
I would like to go to therapy. I've tried to go for almost a month now. So far I have managed to call then 3x and made it as far as the parking lot. I don't know why but it gives me anxiety in itself. Maybe I'm afraid of being labeled "crazy" even though the point of going is to get helped.
Felgen
Well-known member
I had a very severe anxiety in my teens. I've almost overcome it now. Steps I've taken are dating, a course on social skills and analyzing conversations that I'm in.
Me
1. Stoped being a christian -> i put my hope on god to help me, guess who that went. So now i deal with my problems more then before
2. Self medication with alcohol -> it helps with the anxiety
3. I try to go out -> sometimes i am strong outer times i am totaly broken!
4. I train concentrations exercises which r helpfull
5. i try with CBT, self learned
Well that was what i had to share!
1. Stoped being a christian -> i put my hope on god to help me, guess who that went. So now i deal with my problems more then before
2. Self medication with alcohol -> it helps with the anxiety
3. I try to go out -> sometimes i am strong outer times i am totaly broken!
4. I train concentrations exercises which r helpfull
5. i try with CBT, self learned
Well that was what i had to share!
Felgen
Well-known member
I'd recommend that you don't medicate yourself with alcohol. I did in my teens, and it didn't help me much. In the end, the anxiety was even worse than it was in the first place!
Alcohol may get your foot inside the door, but from there, it all relies on your social skills.
Alcohol may get your foot inside the door, but from there, it all relies on your social skills.
Alcohol removes the anxiety for awhile ... It may not be the best way to go but your options aren't that good either ... but i am reflecting about it ...
jamez
Well-known member
I joined this site ages ago when my anxiety/shyness was quite bad. I was surprised that people had similar problems. The way I went about things was that I tried to numb myself from the fear and through sheer exposure...and giving a don't give a **** mentality. It helped for a while as I could be a little more outgoing and such. But numbing yourself isn't the way to to go. I always found myself reverting back to old habits.
Anxiety though is just a fear of something and it can be overcome. In this day and age people are afraid of all sorts of **** they think can bring them harm. Some are real but most are not.
The way forward for me is to accept any emotions or feelings I have but not let it control me. Learning is vitally important and I try to read as many good books as I can. I can recommend a lot of good books to anyone who wants it. The more you know the less you fear. Learning about myself and about real things. Also, trying to take more control over my life. The speed bumps along the way are a decade or two of fearful behaviour but it can be overcome I believe.
Anxiety though is just a fear of something and it can be overcome. In this day and age people are afraid of all sorts of **** they think can bring them harm. Some are real but most are not.
The way forward for me is to accept any emotions or feelings I have but not let it control me. Learning is vitally important and I try to read as many good books as I can. I can recommend a lot of good books to anyone who wants it. The more you know the less you fear. Learning about myself and about real things. Also, trying to take more control over my life. The speed bumps along the way are a decade or two of fearful behaviour but it can be overcome I believe.
Exposure is the best therapy for any phobia.
I suffer with panic disorder and generalised anxiety. The way in which I'm trying to beat it is that I'm going to work (part time) whenever I can get hours. I work a job that's very much social with people 18-22, so that pushes me a lot. Underneath all of the depression, sickness and other panic symptoms I'm encountering, I'll never give up. I'll always have that spark because I desire a different life, it's just sometimes, it doesn't shine very brightly.
You can all do it.
I suffer with panic disorder and generalised anxiety. The way in which I'm trying to beat it is that I'm going to work (part time) whenever I can get hours. I work a job that's very much social with people 18-22, so that pushes me a lot. Underneath all of the depression, sickness and other panic symptoms I'm encountering, I'll never give up. I'll always have that spark because I desire a different life, it's just sometimes, it doesn't shine very brightly.
You can all do it.
Danfalc
Banned
From your posts your obviously a smart person and I hope you don't take offence or consider me condescending trying to give you advice.
But I self medicated with different substances..and even medication from doctors, and in my experience,anything you use to self medicate is only a short term crutch,and will likely just cause more problems in the long term.After self medicated,I found my anxiety rose in situations more and I needed to self medicate more ect
I hope you do reflect on it,because it sounds like your taking a lot of other really positive steps.
NinjaLikesToast
Well-known member
I honestly don't think there is any way out of this. or a "cure" as you say. I have come to accept that I am just different, and hope one day I can find someone that can accept that as well and put up with my silly phobia's haha. Not sure if that will ever happen, but I will try to be happy/content no matter what my life brings me. I know myself pretty well.. and I think there is no way that I personally am going to change things, so the sooner I accept myself for who I am, the sooner I can get on with enjoying the little things in life.
Danfalc
Banned
To me it doesn't matter if it can be cured or not,what matter is the fact that it can be improved.And if it can be cured great,whatever is true will both take the same amount of hard work.
I'm doing baby steps,now I finally have my sleeping sorted,exercise and going to the gym is my next step,as well as seeing my friends more.
I'm doing baby steps,now I finally have my sleeping sorted,exercise and going to the gym is my next step,as well as seeing my friends more.
Thank you for calling me a smart person, intelligence is always relative but I appreciate that, I hope someone else will build your self confidence as you have done for me! Sadly one of the basic truths is that you never can understand why you feel as you do, because it is not govern by logic it is govern by emotions. A person who is scared of spiders will still be scared of them even if they understand that it is illogic.
I know alcohol is a bad idea and I know that it would be better if I did not drink it. You are right, but that doesn’t solve the problem as with the simile I did. But it is a first step, and I will walk toward the direction your advice suggest.