What makes a person popular and desired?

[Toomuchfear]

Hey I have a question. What makes someone popular, what makes other people want to be around them? What qualities is it that makes a person desirable, wanted and loved?

For example, my friend has been travelling for a year, and now she's back, everyone is so excited, and are rushing to see her and tell her they've missed her. Now if I've been away, no one would miss me or go crazy over the fact I'm imminently returning. It's the same with other friends as well, they're always surrounded by people who are smiling and having fun with this person.

I rack my brain trying to think how come these people are so liked by others. My mother always told me that in order to be popular, I should emulate their behaviour, but it didnt work.

I always try to be happy and smiley and chatty to everyone I meet at work, but every day that goes by I'm alone. I was eating chicken bites today, and a colleague said that they put all sorts of horrible things in them, so I joked that he should have told me before I ate them and I laughed, but he just ignored me. Everything I say I do seems to be met with silence or a 'Oh right' response.

 

[vancouver24]

omg i know what you mean!

i feel same way exactly..

maybe its because these people go out a lot and they have experiences with these people and become close to them... maybe they are good at keeping a lot of connections.. that when they leave.. all the people miss talking to them about their problems or experiences...

im just geussing..

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Social skills in general. Also, the ability to put people around them in a better mood than they were before.

 

[Toomuchfear]

Vancouver...I have shared experiences with people, but we have no 'vibe' between us, but I guess I don't know how to make such connections

Nathaniel....do you know how I can learn social skills? I hate being alone, when I know deep down I'm a nice, lovely persons!

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Practice, I'd say. Though I've heard that books like 'How to win friends and influence people' are actually helpful.

 

[Toomuchfear]

I have read that in my quest for friendship, a good read if you like a bit of history. It taught how to make sincere compliments and how to persuade people into your way of thinking. It's good I think if you have social skills already, and you want to resolve disputes and influence people with your decision in the workplace etc.
What I'm needing is how to talk to people and get a good response, and get a good conversation going without running out of things to say and the awkwardness coming in.

 

[Guffaw]

Confidence is a major factor. Before I had SA I had bucket loads of the stuff. My phone was always ringing, everyone wanted to know what I was doing. Now no one cares
I found simple things like smiling or winking would invite people to talk to me. People also love to think they're funny. If you laugh at someone's jokes, they'll feel an almost instant attraction to you. One of my ex's is very funny and if someone doesn't laugh at his jokes, he dislikes them immediately.
People also like endearing traits. My most popular friend is the clumsiest woman I've ever known. It's actually strange that she is so popular because she's selfish, and sometimes very rude. But she simply doesn't care what people think.
Concentrate on all your good points, and flaunt them as much as you can.

 

[Guffaw]

As for keeping a conversation going, talk about them. People love talking about themselves. Ask lots of questions about them and that should invite them to ask questions about you.

 

[doesit]

you should ask yourself why do you want to be popular and desired in the first place ?As i see it family is first in life and then few close friends and relatives that are important in life.as example you said work colleague commented on your food,so what ? Why would you want to impress or be liked by someone who is ignorant towards you,remember people who you know for many years and can trust those are important.As i believe there are many sayings its better to have one friend than 100 gofs

 

[Aussie_Lad]

They are usually people with high energy levels, who get excited about what they do and are prepared to speak passionately about their life to whoever is prepared to listen. They have many interesting stories that make people laugh or cry or just be able to relate to somehow. At the same time though, they also take time to listen to other people and encourage others to make something of themselves.

 

[BlueDays]

Social skills in general. Also, the ability to put people around them in a better mood than they were before.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou.

^I have found this quote to have a lot of truth in it.
And of course to be able to make people feel good requires the necessary social skills :/

 

[coyote]

Social skills in general. Also, the ability to put people around them in a better mood than they were before.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou.

^I have found this quote to have a lot of truth in it.
And of course to be able to make people feel good requires the necessary social skills :/

i third this sentiment

 

[NewtoThis]

I'm pretty sure I'll never know. Ah well.