What do you live for?

[IntheLabyrinth]

I have know idea why I haven't offed myself yet since I really don't feel I have anything to live for. I guess it must be the fear of dying. This is going to be my second quote from Candide in as many days but it's only because they have both been perfect for the thread.

“I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our more stupid melancholy propensities, for is there anything more stupid than to be eager to go on carrying a burden which one would gladly throw away, to loathe one’s very being and yet to hold it fast, to fondle the snake that devours us until it has eaten our hearts away?”
― Voltaire, Candide: or, Optimism

 

[xDreamseller]

I honestly don't know. I guess only the built in natural drive to stay alive is keeping me going at this point. I don't have any dreams or whatever. Sure I've got plans for the future, but that's just sort of because you have to if you don't want to live on the sidewalk.

I'm not even scared of death, in fact it intrigues me quite a bit. I do plan to kill myself (if I'm not already dead) before I get too old anyway. No set age, just when your body and mind starts to go downhill. Who wants to be "living", unable to do basic tasks for themselves? I dunno if that's weird and in my mind I don't even class it as suicidal. It's not that I dislike life, I just don't want to be old.

Wow that made me sound so depressed, I'm actually pretty happy with my life right now. Sure some things could be better, but nothing is that bad.

 

[yesman]

Honestly, I don't live for anything anymore. My life is completely empty.

 

[ForWantOf]

At this point, I'm just living for the quiet moments. If I get through 80% of the day comfortable in my own skin, that's a better day than most.

If I pass into sweet, dreamless sleep at night without any heart palpitations or cold sweats, I'm in a good mood the next day.

If my mind stops prodding me and grants me a brief respite of serenity so I can read a book or just sit for a moment without feeling depressed and anxious, I chalk up a win for that day.

If I have a really good gym day, a really good one where my head was in the game the whole time, and I push myself just that little bit further than normal, and I can, with no regrets, wash the blood from that day's deadlift off my shins in the shower and ride out the endorphin high until a lay my head down that night, well, that's just heaven for me.

 

[Earthcircle]

to see what happens next

This is probably the best answer I could give. My failure in psychotherapy and with meds is really making me feel that there is nowhere to turn.

 

[EscapeArtist]

The faith in all the opportunities in the world and all the things I haven't tried, the new experience I haven't exhausted. New ways of thinking, acting, progressing, possibilities and decisions I haven't come to, new days that sometimes feel totally different than yesterday, and good moments where you break the mold to see if anything else is out there, that are hella rare but feel glorious and inspiring

 

[Solomon]

I apologize if my answer offends anyone, but what motivates me to keep enduring this condition and to continue living is to, someday not that far, have plenty of money and have sex with pretty women. Secondary interests are to enjoy music and to travel.

I'm currently working hard to meet my goals, and every bad day I have (socially speaking, and which are the most), I tell myself I must go on and not give up.