dannyboy65
Well-known member
So there's this girl that I have been talking to for months I was with her yesterday for the first time yesterday. I really like her! yesterday was great. We went to the exhibition that was in town. We went on rides and I was just happy I was with her. I felt a lot of anxiety, and butterflies in my stomach, my schizophrenia was going crazy. Something about her made me feel good even through all that anxiety and schizophrenia I was happy. When we were inside watching the dogs compete in a dog show, we messaged eachother through my ipod I would write in the notes and give her it and she would write back. I think she really likes me too, and at the end of the night we were alone and typing to eachother (we both have anxiety and get very nervous) and she told me she couldn't explain her feelings cause of a disorder she had. I told her she didn't have to explain anything to me because all I care about is that she is herself I don't care if she's in any state I would look after her and I wouldn't ask her to explain I would just let it be. She then said no one has ever said that to me before. She kept saying stuff about her disorders, I never judged because no matter her disorder she is still her and that's the girl I want to be with. I then asked if I can hold her and she nodded she was nervous but later told me it was adorable. When I held her the voices disappeared for the first time, my anxiety went away. For the first time in a long time, I felt happy. Then when she left I just felt so alone I was back in the world I came to hate people were saying shit to me cause I was alone, I missed her, I still do. she doesn't care that I have problems I can be open with her and she'll help me. She tries to be open with me but I know its hard for her to explain her feelings. I don't mind though one bit Cause it's what makes her herself. even thinking about her now it gives me butterflies. I wish I could explain everything but I can't.
i hope yall work out