Well something unexpected happened today.

[Eristelle]

Funny because I was feeling horrendously ugly today. I finally decided to go to the store and get more stuff for the house and for my cats. I decided to go to the pet store first... Something I regret. I walk in the store getting some canned food and as I go to the register I see my ex from almost three years ago. I was shocked and my automatic rudeness kicked in. He wasn't particularly rude, he was nice. But knowing me, I decided to be rude and act as if I forgot about him. I always do that! This time I really didn't want to be rude. Whenever I meet someone for some reason I act cold and uncaring. I'm also nervous too. Then when my mom or sister is around, that's when I REALLY act unruly. God, I feel horrible. I wanted to be nice and have a short chat but that failed miserably. I wish I could have gone back in and apologized, but with my mom around I was far too embarrassed... I guess I was severely embarrassed with her around and it didn't help my anxiety. Being rude is me freaking out on the inside.

Man... I actually want to go back tomorrow and say hi, but I know tomorrow's Sunday and I honestly don't know his work schedule. Plus what's the point anyway? I'm a drop out, we automatically have nothing in common now. I just feel bad that I wasn't friendly. I despise being around my family when I know someone. If she wasn't in the store with me id be way less anxious. I'm actually thinking of walking all the way there just to apologize... But that's an awfully long walk.

Oh well.. Guess I should just get over it because it's over with, says my mom. -_-

 

[MikeyC]

Don't worry about it now. Next time you see him, maybe you could apologise for your rudeness, but there's no real need now.

 

[Srijita52]

^I agree. I act rude too. I think I do this because I don't want to show people how nervous I'm inside. Its okay though, you don't have to appologise right away. Maybe act friendly when you meet him next time.

 

[tjwliveson]

i dont know if any else gets this but when your anxious do you get extremley patient? if find very difficult to smile and be totally polite because im so anxious
i am polite somewhat but people can tell im being unpatiant but it's not my fault im anxious.
Another i feel like people think im a freak because im not confident,even though i know alot of people might not be confident but are very good at hiding it:thumbdown:

 

[tjwliveson]

sorry thats meant to say unpatient