weird feeling when making eye contact

[iwanttogetbetter]

Ok i know this topic has come out a few times but its been one of my biggest flaws at the moment not being unable to make eye contact. Sure i can look at people in the eyes but then it just feels so overwhelming that i have to look down. its like when i look at a person as soon as eye contact is made all i can feel is what the person is thinking or their energy its really weird. Bah how the hell im i going to survive 6 more weeks of school.....

 

[Harleyq]

I think even people who don't have social phobia have a hard time making eye contact.

I've found that people with pure, sky-blue eyes, are really easy for me to make eye contact with (I've only known 3); I don't know why. I guess because not many people have them. Even if you took all the people with blue eyes and put them together, it's difficult to find people with the bright, bright blues so I'm just like "Cooool!" lol. As far as everyone else, though, I can't look them in the eyes.

 

[recluse]

Sometimes i feel uncomfortable looking into even my parents eyes because i kind of feel ashamed of myself, i don't know it's a weird feeling...Kind of a feeling i don't have the right to make eye contact because i'm unworthy. I find this happening on my depressive days.

 

[reslo]

i have trouble with eye contact too. I have to consciously remind myself a lot to look at people~ and sometimes I'll count in my head look at the person 1-2-3, look away at some object 1-2-3-4...
i usually feel like when someone looks at me, they can see all of my faults, and that im just not measuring up to whatever expectations i should be~


The book Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety, it talks about eye contact~
"a study of two-party conversations suggests partners typically give each other eye contact between 30 and 60 percent of the time while they talk. The length of these glances is anywhere from one to seven seconds." and "Prolonged eye contact is usually reserved for displays of intimidation or of love and concern. In normal social interactions, eye contact consists of repetitive glances only one or two seconds in length, interspersed with periods of looking away."

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I honestly don't think my phobia would be that bad were it not for having to make eye-contact. It's very draining for me to look people in the eye for any period of time, regardless of who they are in relation to me.

I try to take on an expression of contemplation or deep thought when I'm out and about, to dissuade anyone from talking to me for this very reason.

 

[blue]

my partner told me to imagine a tringle on the persons forhead (strange i know!) when you talk to them and focuss on that instead of looking directly into their eyes apparently people carnt tell.

 

[Mikefly]

Look at people in the nose instead of the eyes that works sometimes and they think you are looking them in the eyes. I've found out it's all about timing look at them some look away if you have to get the timing down pat.

 

[Noca]

I was getting good at eye contact then I relapsed and couldnt make eye contact with my therapist yesterday...

 

[iwanttogetbetter]

i dont think that looking someone in the mouth, nose, middle of the eyes or anywhere else works...i've tried them all. Its just so weird because you want to show them your paying attention. i havent tried the triangle on the forehead though ill try that but i doubt it will work. I don't really know, i do go on periods where i can look at people in the eyes but thats when im social anxiety free or on some kinda of benzos, alcohol. your mind is a lot more quiet and u can just stare at them and enjoy the interaction. gahh hope the triangle thing works....O and i can stare at animals and handicapped people in the eyes it doesnt give me the feeling of pulling away, i can kinda stare at a friend at school fine but it still a bit awkward....something is wrong with me!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[iwanttogetbetter]

sometimes when i'm looking into someones eyes i worry that they might be thinking that i want to have sex with them. then i question myself do i want to have sex with this person. then all i can think about is having sex with them while i'm talking to them

lol... dude thats so weird. what happens if its someone who looks like a hippopotamus? do you still think that way?
i love giving girls i want to have sex with them looks its fun just as long as its in a playful manner not a stalkerish look. god i wish i was normal

 

[recluse]

I have the same problem with sheep::........Well i am from Wales

 

[Jake123]

I have the opposite problem of not being able to make eye contact, I tend to stare people straight in the eyes and I guess sometimes it intimidates them.

 

[releaseme]

yes, most of the time it is weird making eye contact. i feel as if i have this sign over my head, and if i look at them they'll see the sign, and i'd rather not have people read that sign.

 

[Phobologist]

I have a real issue with this on days where I am anxious. On other days I feel okay. I have found that it begins with worrying that I have to make eye contact to avoid making them feel uncomfortable. From there I then worry that I am spending too much time "staring". So that's how it works in my case.