Want to know the core issue behind social anxiety?

[cosmosis]

J_Brown

It might be a langauge barrier, but fear of being alone is very different to fear of rejection or pain.

In your dog example, that dog becomes socially scared because he fears pain from the humans, not because he fears being alone. In other words, he chooses being alone (which causes some pain) over the greater pain (which is the pain directly adminstered by humans).

Same as humans with social anxiety. We don't like being alone (we are social creatures by nature), but we are more scared of the immediate pain that people give us, so we choose to be alone instead (the lesser of the pain).

Your example of the cat is interesting and I think you miss the point.
Cats by nature are WAY MORE anxious around people then dogs are in general. Ask yourself why? It's because they don't naturally desire companionship (they like being alone) so they only focus on the direct pain that humans can cause...they have no counterbalance.

Your cat example is exactly why your theory is wrong. Cats don't fear being alone yet they are MUCH more anxious then dogs are in general around people. They have extreme performance anxiety in everything they do.

Ask yourself why socially anxious people are more like cats than dogs and you will figure out the answer.

 

[j_brown3]

J_Brown

It might be a langauge barrier, but fear of being alone is very different to fear of rejection or pain.

In your dog example, that dog becomes socially scared because he fears pain from the humans, not because he fears being alone. In other words, he chooses being alone (which causes some pain) over the greater pain (which is the pain directly adminstered by humans).

Same as humans with social anxiety. We don't like being alone (we are social creatures by nature), but we are more scared of the immediate pain that people give us, so we choose to be alone instead (the lesser of the pain).

Your example of the cat is interesting and I think you miss the point.
Cats by nature are WAY MORE anxious around people then dogs are in general. Ask yourself why? It's because they don't naturally desire companionship (they like being alone) so they only focus on the direct pain that humans can cause...they have no counterbalance.

Your cat example is exactly why your theory is wrong. Cats don't fear being alone yet they are MUCH more anxious then dogs are in general around people. They have extreme performance anxiety in everything they do.

Ask yourself why socially anxious people are more like cats than dogs and you will figure out the answer.

It might be a langauge barrier, but fear of being alone is very different to fear of rejection or pain.

In your dog example, that dog becomes socially scared because he fears pain from the humans, not because he fears being alone. In other words, he chooses being alone (which causes some pain) over the greater pain (which is the pain directly adminstered by humans).

my cat example wasnt perfect, if a cat wasnt so small and in fear of getting eaten or killed i tell you she wouldnt have any anxiety not around people, dogs, nowhere, thats another fear of getting killed=death!

if all cats are really independent (i dont know)i tell you reject a cat and she wont fucking care, (if she can find food on her own). You think it would cause her pain if you would reject her. NO

Why to independent people rejection doesnt casues pain? Look at them they take it lightly

the not so independent ones to them it hurts, why? fear of being alone.
its subcounsciously,


To the dog its painfull going to a human coz to him it was painful being alone, he is wounded, emotionaly hurt by all the things he did wrong and got punished for by being alone.

If in the first place he wouldnt fear being alone so much, the things he did wrong wouldnt hurt him,critic wouldnt hurt him, rejection wouldnt hurt him, nothing

now he is emotionaly hurt to of course and thats how you get fucked up.


if the dog were independent and like to be alone, and the owner wouldnt know that

dog does something wrong, owner puts him alone in the room, dog goes there without a problem, it doesnt hurt causes no pain nothing, next time dog again does something wrong, owner puts him in place alone, dog doesnt care at all. no pain, nothing, its all nothing to him,

he wont have performance anxiety nothing around the human to behave good, to not do things wrong, nothing

he is emotionly hurt by it? no pain, nothing

Same as humans with social anxiety. We don't like being alone (we are social creatures by nature), but we are more scared of the immediate pain that people give us, so we choose to be alone instead (the lesser of the pain).

if you think being alone is not anxiety causing and to your mind not danegerous, than if you have a mild social anxiety, stay inside for two months, and your anxiety will get out of control, i tell you despite not getting any rejection, humiliation, embarassement, no pain

if being alone wouldnt be an issue, dangerous to your mind for survival you wouldnt have an anxiety disorder. You would as you say choose to be alone, but your mind doesnt let you choose it, it gives you anxiety the more and more your alone.

to normal people being alone for 2 months wouldnt be an issue i guess, coz they learned to be social, they never felt in danger of ending up alone.
so there mind doesnt see it as a threat. to us social phobics the mind is already in alert mode of ending up alone and dieing=which is unreal but when the human came to the planet, thats exactly what it meant (at the time with dinosaurs), and thats why we have issues with being alone.

Your example of the cat is interesting and I think you miss the point.
Cats by nature are WAY MORE anxious around people then dogs are in general. Ask yourself why? It's because they don't naturally desire companionship (they like being alone) so they only focus on the direct pain that humans can cause...they have no counterbalance.

if the cat would have the body of a rottweiler and the mindset of a cat, she would be untouchable.

A Rotweiler alone wouldnt be untouchable, he would get frustrated fucked up, angry, mad, stressed if he were alone all the time. He wouldnt function normally after a time, if the rottweiler is a social dog (i dont know)

You say ask yourself why?

Cats are way more anxious, coz they are way more in danger of getting killed and eaten coz they are small, like i said before its a different fear=of getting killed but still its the same fear of death

It's because they don't naturally desire companionship (they like being alone) so they only focus on the direct pain that humans can cause...they have no counterbalance

i had to laugh at that lol. They are scared of the human coz he is bigger, stronger a threat to the cat to get killed. if scientist made a cat with a rottweiler body she would be such a strong being.

She would be ice cold lol. In tune with herself all the time, she couldnt get emotional pain coz she has no weakness, to her other people dont matter, it would be all about her, you wouldnt be able to bring her down,

being a social being has its price. when your social your happy, when you cant be, your fucked. its a strength and a weakness

if your not a social being like a cat, you cant be touched emotionally. your ice cold, and with a killer body, your just fearless

Your cat example is exactly why your theory is wrong. Cats don't fear being alone yet they are MUCH more anxious then dogs are in general around people. They have extreme performance anxiety in everything they do.

Ask yourself why socially anxious people are more like cats than dogs and you will figure out the answer.

My cat example just shows why iam right lol. if cats would travel the world in groups and be social, they might be less scared of getting killed right, but they dont travel it together, they do it on their own,


dogs are not as scared of getting killed by everyone they see coz they have bigger stronger bodies and are beings who travel in packs. but to them being alone, without a pack is danger = thats how we humans are

Get it?

the cat has her issues to coz she is small, but alone is not dangerous to her. to her a another cat wouldnt be dangerous, she wouldnt fear when she sees another cat

"Oh shit here is another cat, let me quickly think what iam gonna say to be accepted in the cat pack, umm miaw miaw lol, no shit thats stupid, she will not like it, i have to think something better, shit why is my voice so strange, the other cat sure wont like me" Haha you get it. the cat wont fucking care about the other cat, she wont have performance anxiety around her

she just sees the cat maybe as another threat, not to be left alone, without being accepted in the pack, but as a threat to get killed.


the dog on the other hand, if he did something wrong and the pack didnt want him anymore and left him alone. to his mind that would be danger. so he would travel alone, and in constant anxiety, now if he saw another pack of dogs and dogs would talk, (and he would know from experience if he talks weird he wont be accepted in the pack)

what would happen?

his mind would give him such an anxiety when he gets to the dogs! telling him dont fuck this up, you need them to survive. But sure enough he would fuck up, talk weird and be left alone. not accepted in the pack,

next time he sees a pack it would just be worse, his anxiety, this time he wouldnt even be able to say a word

You get the idea, thats whats happeing to people with a strong social phobia. they cant even say a word in front of human




Social being = being alone is danger Period

I wont explain myself anymore, if you dont get it now, you just never will,

if you have a mild social phobia you can do everything just not avoid people more and be more lonely

if you have a strong social phobia, it will never go away till you get to be around people more and more.

If you have a strong social phobia you can teach yourself through the internet to talk like a pro in front of people, read all kinds of books, watch videos, whatever you want. everything you want, but it wont do a thing to better your chances

when you will get to the first person, anxiety will kick in so strong, telling you, you need to be accepted in the pack to survuve or you will be fucked otherwise


Here you go people, what casues social anxiety, everything here the truth and for free.

How do i know all this

cos iam freeing myself from the hurtfull emotional pain, from the danger of being alone, with EFT, and its like i can look at social anxiety in a calm relaxed way. It doesnt scare me anymore, every day less and less.

You see theres a memory ta worked on with EFT, I wrote down exactly how i think about this memory, what pain it causes me.

so the memory was about me being on a bus with lots of people around the same age around me. Than 2 girls come up i knew a bit, they sit behind me, and a minute later one of the girl taps me on my shoulders, iam scared to death, so many people around me they will all hear how i talk, who iam, they just wont like me.

so i turn around in panic, look at the girl freeze up when i see her expression and turn around without saying hi, anxiety kicks in even stronger, thoughts of i fucked it up, everyone must think iam sick, iam weird (which all translates to being alone), so i blush, i fear everyone will talk about me now behind my back how wierd iam and so on


minutes later after doing EFT, a whole different memory

i cant access this doom feeling anymore, after i tapped on how lonely i felt, how scared i was noone will like me, how scared iam everyone will be against me if i say something

i try to think of this thought that i had, before i did EFT on that memory.
of how i was scared they think iam sick, normally i could talk to them but on the bus where other people were around i couldnt. that must be weird to them, they must think whats wrong with me, they must think iam sick and will leave me alone

I cant access it, i think about they must think iam sick now, iam emotionless about it, it makes me laugh,

now if i would be in the same situation, i would on purpose stare at them lol

its like i dont give a fuck what they think about me. i dont need them there are so many other people around me i can befriend,

You see cognitive shift. Before i saw doom, my mind was alerting me that when i stared at them and didnt say a word iam fucked iam gonna die.

now iam out of this survival state and see there are a 1000 people around me wherever i look. i dont need to be afraid of being alone. no performance anxiety whatsoever for me

i could stare at them, whatever i want. Talk about emotional freedom Thats what EFT stands for = emotional freedom technique.

You people have a fearful mind that believes you will all die up alone. Thats why you see the world irrational, differently.

I dont know if you can see what i see, with the example, coz i dont have a as much of a social phobic mind anymore.

i dont know if you get it what iam trying to say that, that before i tapped on the memory, my mind was telling me i must not fuck it up with them girls. but now my mind lets me fuck it up with them girls if i choose so freely because my mind knows iam safe look around 1000 people wherever i look. i will find someone who likes me.

I dont know if a social phobic can understand this, because their minds will tell them its not true. they will not see the 1000 people around them who they can socialize with.

i will feel like i fit in in this world again more and more every day

Iam getting closer to overcome social anxiety day by day

I will be fearless people. Girls? wont be a problem. my mind want tell me theres just this one chance, just this one girl

my mind wont be in alertness of ending up alone, so i will see a 10000 girls around me, not one girl which i have to get otherwise i die, i will be able to pick my girl without any performance anxiety whatsoever


take it easy social phobics, help is here. If you are serious about getting over social anxiety. BELIEVE ME its possible.

when your mind relaxes and doesnt see people as a threat of being alone anymore.

you will never ever have this thought in your head, what do i say to him, oh shit iam quiet again, i need to talk more.

all this worrying stuff will go away. You will live a beautifull life

If you are serious about overcoming it

go to the website emofree.com and find yourself a practioner, you will be over social anxiety for sure. it will take out the fear of being alone of your memories, and soon enough you wont have panic attacks anymore

 

[StonedBob]

I've been on the website you advise, plus on the french website of EFT, and personnaly, I have huge doubts about this kind of therapy...

 

[j_brown3]

I've been on the website you advise, plus on the french website of EFT, and personnaly, I have huge doubts about this kind of therapy...

if you dont have a bad social anxiety and could go to an eft practioner as he knows how to heal you and tell him you think social anxiety is about fear of being alone. You would be thankful to him for life.

iam just saying go to a practioner because its the easiest way, you dont have to teach yourself to do eft. you dont have to believe anything just go there for one session and you will be amazed at the difference

i was doing EFT since may last year. I was tapping around how anxious i feel around people, nothing helped, i was still anxious, i tapped on how i fear peoples negative reaction, how i fear being rejected, anxiety still here, all memories still looked like doom to me.

i just believed in EFT so much that i kept with it with all the frustrations it gave me when it didnt work

then miracle, i found out its being alone, tapped on memories about how alone i felt boom anxiety gone. i could look at the memory without any anxiety feeling

its only a matter of finding your core issue. and your anxiety will drop like flies

think about it.

emotions are very powerful, you make decisions based on emotions, not on logic, or rationality, emotions are just so powerful.

what cognitive therapy does, it tries to change you to think rationally and ignore the emotion. Thats a painful way to get over something. for example go and meet a person and socialize, rationaly its no threat you know it, but your emotional response is the opposite. so you will most likely avoid the person, base your decision on what your emotions tell you

What if you could take the negative emotion you feel about meeting a person out of you?

You would rationally want to meet the person, and emotionally, which means you would enjoy it.

Thats the beauty of EFT. THats what it does. So what you would do with EFT is think of the emotion that causes you to not meet the person. I did the hard work for you and know it.

Its like this

You are angry at one person, you just see anger hate for that person, if you do EFT and tap on how angry you are at that person, the anger feeling will go away and you wont be angry at the person anymore

but theres something more to it.

Rationally because your emotional intensity is gone you will look at it differently, like its no big deal,you will think abou the memory with clarity, no negative emotions, so you will see something you never saw before you will think like in case of social anxiety if someone hurt you, he just did it coz he has his own issues.

like for example

i tapped on a memory where i had a panic attack in front of a teacher in classroom. so later i and the teacher had to go out to the library and get a book for me, while we were standing in line in library i went qucik to the toilet coz i had a dry mouth, to refresh myself, when i came back the teacher was angry at me coz i went away and get myself something to drink. For the first time this teacher was angry at me, she was never angry at me before

so me the social phobic of course thought she is angry at me coz i panicked and now even she doesnt like me anymore (fear of being alone behind it), so i felt even more hurt, even more pain and so on

now after doing EFT on the panic attack i had in the classroom, how lonely i felt when the teacher asked me a question in front of the class, how scared i was of everyone looking at me, how lonely i felt when everyone was looking at me, how scared i was of saying something wrong and ending up alone.

loneliness wasnt an issue anymore, and i automatically thought when i thought about the teacher who was angry at me, she has their own issues lol, she couldnt handle it watching me panic and now she is angry at me coz i made her feel uncomfortable. And i truly believe in this, not telling myself this, and ignoring my emotions, its completely automatic that this thought came to my mind, no forcing to belive it nothing

emotions are so powerful, they make you see just one thing, i took out the powerful emotion loneliness and the fear of being alone was gone, so i can look at my classmates who looked at me while i had a panic attack rationally, i can look at the teacher calmly and rationally why she was angry at me because my emotions are out of my way,

and loneliness just happens to be something that to social beings is threatening and so anxiety which is also an emotion takes over the first emotion thats threatening to you

Its simple as that, fix your emotions, your emotions and rationall thinking will go hand in hand

you might think its wrong for me to think that iam not at fault here that the teacher is angry at me? It just happens to be the truth, whats wrong with me having a panic attack?, can i do something about it?, NO, so the teacher to me is a bad person not worth worrying about. You see i took out the fear of being alone, and i wasnt dependent on her anymore, her reaction, nothing bothers me

look how beatifully i look at this situation now, thats were my self assertivness comes from lately around my family, i talked about in earlier posts, thats self confidence, being fearless, without emotional baggage

Talk about emotional freedom if you could look at the world rationaly like this and believe it too its true. in every way

its just beautiful. if i would be in the same situation again oh boy the teacher would get to hear my opinion, i wouldnt stand there in pain and take it, no, i would tell her in a nice calm way how i feel about her anger at me

the guys laughing at me in the classroom when i panicked, no deal at all, they are not worth knowing, and you know how i think about them now? they are same weak as me, they do it to not feel alone, they do it to make themselves feel better,

it goes like this, someone who is scared of meeting a girl, will laugh at another guy who cant meet a girl if he sees other people already laughing at him. Its simple as that, it makes him feel better, so he is not alone with his problem

talk about emotional freedom,

it all makes sense to me. I look at a human, i know all about him, his weakness his strength, social anxiety teached me so much, i will be successfull, with EFT on my side and emotrance witch is even more powerfull it will be a great life i have ahead of me.

control your emotions and you have freedom


EFT baby its the truth, it makes your emotions get out of your way. live the life you are supposed to live happy and free

 

[j_brown3]

Still any doubts about EFT?

get to a EFT practioner if you can!!

dont recommend doing it yourself coz your emotions are fucked, they will tell you this doesnt work, that wont work

you will have to much doubt

you dont have the will power and believe i had "i can do it" and a year of cognitive therapy already in your head that you would stick with EFT like i did when it didnt even really work form me (thats when i didnt know its being alone thats the problem)


Its all about emotions people, stop cognitive therapy, stop taking medications, fix your emotions

 

[StonedBob]

Again, I have doubts about EFT. Effectively, people that practice this have no diploma reconized in France (I'm french). They don't need to be psychologist, psychiatrist or doctor... It's a bit strange for me.
Anyway, if its working for you, then good for you, but I think I will try something that is considered as more reliable :roll: . (Sorry if my last sentence offend you, it's not my intention).

 

[j_brown2]

Again, I have doubts about EFT. Effectively, people that practice this have no diploma reconized in France (I'm french). They don't need to be psychologist, psychiatrist or doctor... It's a bit strange for me.
Anyway, if its working for you, then good for you, but I think I will try something that is considered as more reliable :roll: . (Sorry if my last sentence offend you, it's not my intention).

no offence taken, you can do what ever you like to get over it. Iam just saying theres nothing that can heal you better like EFT.

i know they dont have any certificates, all they have is an EFT course, but you know what? they can heal a person from pain, traumas quicker than a psycho doctor who studied for 30 or 50 years.

i can heal a social phobic quicker than a cognitive practioner who has been in this field for 30 years


it doesnt matter, do what you like to do to get better, its up to you


Another thing about why people feel anxiety when they are around people


Like i said in the example with the dog, if he was left alone from one pack of dogs and his mind now is in anxiety coz he needs to be in a pack to survive, being alone for him means he will die.

So he sees another pack of dogs. and he needs to join it to survive

What can his mind do to help him?

i talked before about that people learn new things how to deal with problems, and the mind will use newer learned things to solve a problem but if nothing else works it will go to the old flight or fight response, thats the only thing it has to try to survive


so the dog sees the pack and he need to join it to survive,

so what can the mind do to help him? can it if dogs talked make him super cool in a moment, NO he doesnt have this in him

but even if he had it in him, he couldnt use it, you cant fight something death threatening with something positive lol


you see he belives he has nothing special that would want the pack to take him, so his mind goes in the old flight or fight state, telling him he is in danger of being left alone, thats the way the mind wants to protect itself, it sees a threat it tries to fight it off or run away,

its not very practical for a situation like this


so here you go, when you start thinking you dont have anything to say, or whatever, why you start panicking. If you been rejected before because you were quiet, or many times i tell you next time your mind will be obsessed about it, you will just think about it "am i quiet" again,

when you will be quiet and feel someone wants to say something to you, you will be in panic coz you fear he will say you are quiet. quietness is death threatening to your mind then.

dont tell me you dont fear in this moment just before you panick, you will see something that will be hurtful to you, or something that will cause you rejection. the mind belives there a threat,a dead;y danger, to be left alone

social anxiety is so easy to understand

 

[j_brown2]

You all always talk about pain

what kind of people drive on the road in a car? Those that arent scared of crashing and dieing! they dont think about it. they just see driving the car from one point to the other where they wanna go

the person who is scared of driving doesnt drive on the road. when he is forced to and does drive, its a painful experience for him despite nothing happening



what kind of people socialice freely with every person they want to? THose that arent scared of being left alone and dieing

those who are forced to socialize will say it was painfull and horrible despite nothing happening


what kind of person is scared of driving? One who probably saw a crash once, or was in a crash. simple,

 

[newfiechic]

j_brown2, I agree with you completely. I have been using the energy modalities (EFT, TAT, Zpoint, etc) since this past spring and have been heavily researching core issues of social anxiety, agoraphobia, etc.
I found TAT the best of all, because you do not need to know the core issue. I would say I am almost free of it all, except for a few things that pop up as I go along.

I think most times, people who do have social anxiety will have fear of rejection anyway. It just seems to be all part of one big package. Parents with too many expectations who shamed you if you didn't do things right seem to be key. If you had a parent who was an alcoholic, like I have, you would most likely develop co-dependence, and it turns into a cycle of always feel like you have to please people so they don't leave you. Finding out that I was co-dependent was one of the biggest steps in my healing.

The fear of rejection is not so much because of the pain, it is because you don't want people to dislike you, leave you, etc...all part of fear of being alone. If you are scared everyone will reject you, then most likely you are scared you won't have people around you. Most of the time social phobics tend to keep to themselves so they won't have to go through the hurt of people rejecting them or leaving them. They choose to be alone on their own terms, rather than by other people's terms.

For any of you who doubt EFT, it will not hurt you to try it, you can learn it for free. Same with TAT at tatlife.net
I wish I would have found it 10 years ago when most of this started for me. I used it to change a lot of my thinking, come out of a very severe depression where I felt suicidal, build my self-esteem, treat shame, fears, phobias, etc. I have used it on a friend recently who almost died from a beating, I have used it on my children for phobias, pains, etc. I have a lot left to do, but for me it was amazing.

Best of luck to you all

 

[j_brown87]

j_brown2, I agree with you completely. I have been using the energy modalities (EFT, TAT, Zpoint, etc) since this past spring and have been heavily researching core issues of social anxiety, agoraphobia, etc.
I found TAT the best of all, because you do not need to know the core issue. I would say I am almost free of it all, except for a few things that pop up as I go along.

I think most times, people who do have social anxiety will have fear of rejection anyway. It just seems to be all part of one big package. Parents with too many expectations who shamed you if you didn't do things right seem to be key. If you had a parent who was an alcoholic, like I have, you would most likely develop co-dependence, and it turns into a cycle of always feel like you have to please people so they don't leave you. Finding out that I was co-dependent was one of the biggest steps in my healing.

The fear of rejection is not so much because of the pain, it is because you don't want people to dislike you, leave you, etc...all part of fear of being alone. If you are scared everyone will reject you, then most likely you are scared you won't have people around you. Most of the time social phobics tend to keep to themselves so they won't have to go through the hurt of people rejecting them or leaving them. They choose to be alone on their own terms, rather than by other people's terms.

For any of you who doubt EFT, it will not hurt you to try it, you can learn it for free. Same with TAT at tatlife.net
I wish I would have found it 10 years ago when most of this started for me. I used it to change a lot of my thinking, come out of a very severe depression where I felt suicidal, build my self-esteem, treat shame, fears, phobias, etc. I have used it on a friend recently who almost died from a beating, I have used it on my children for phobias, pains, etc. I have a lot left to do, but for me it was amazing.

Best of luck to you all

Yeah its true.noone can shake me of this believe that its fear of being alone, i see EFT clearing Anxiety causing memories and making them "boring" everyday. My anxiety is getting weaker everyday.

Once you feel alot better and dont have a strong anxiety. i recommend you try emotrance. It is the best energy healing method of them all. emotrance is not just about healing, its more than that, you will have a life you never imagined exists. And its the easiest energy healing method to learn from them all.

 

[cosmosis]

J_brown,

Sometimes listening is more helpful than talking non stop.

You've latched onto a negative concept / motivation at the exclusion of all else. It's a trap I've fallen for in the past as well. It always makes for a great opportunity for therapy though.

I will try to make it as simple as possible and use your own example.

You say people drive because they arn't afraid of crashing and dying.
That's a negative concept and only takes into account negative motivation. It's incredibly misleading.

People drive because they want to get somewhere (positive motivation) which is greater than their negative motivation (fear of getting hurt or killed).

People don't go around doing things simply because they have no fear of dying or getting hurt. It's a fallacy of looking at it only in negative terms.

Nor do people stop socializing because they fear being alone. That is one small part of a much bigger picture.

Stop and think about it for a while.

 

[j_brown2]

we

 

[j_brown2]

People drive because they want to get somewhere (positive motivation) which is greater than their negative motivation (fear of getting hurt or killed).

People don't go around doing things simply because they have no fear of dying or getting hurt. It's a fallacy of looking at it only in negative terms.

Read this and you will understand everything

please stop, do you really believe this? you say people drive because it is more positive to them than their negative motivation of getting killed death

lol

nothing can defeat a fear of death, nothing can be positive enough to face it, if there is a death threat, you wont do it, simple. Noone can tell you driving is death threatening and you wont drive anymore, you have to experience with your own emotions that driving is death threatening than you will be scared to death next time.

noone can tell you watching tv is death threatening, you just wont do anything about it, you will continue watching tv.

if you experienced though watching tv is death threatening with your emotions, you will be scared to death and never watch again, even if your favourite program is on, you wont even care about the favourite program, you just want to be safe, nothing else

thats how the weirdest phobias in this world exist.

to someone who heights, elevators are nothing to fear at all, he would laugh at one who fears heights like someone who would fear watching tv.

how does someone develop a fear of tv, as to being a fear of death?

i read once someone had a fear of tvs, and they cleared it with EFT.

when he was in hospital in operating room to be operated for something life threatening and go into radiation therapy, he looked at this tv on the wall all the time, and had emotions and fear of death feelings all the time, because of the operation and the danger he is in of dieing

so after he got out of hospital and survived, he had a strange problem everytime he saw a tv, he felt fear of death. anxiety

he couldnt have any tvs in his house, at work no computer monitor or tvs, it caused great pain and problems, so he went to a EFT practioner, and they played detective and tried to find out, were in the past did he saw a tv that was life threatening to him

after a lot of i dont know where, its not possible that a tv ever could be life threatening to me, he remembered when he was in this live dangerous operation and rememberred he kept looking at the tv who had his scans of him showing.

You see his subconscious mind saw the tv as a thread of death, he felt the EMOTIONS at the time and later on developed a phobia of tvs, tvs became death threatening

his subconscious mind associated the feeling of death he had at the time with the TV he kept on looking.


so he tapped with EFT "the fear of dieing" out of the memory with tapping on all the emotions he felt while lieing there on the bed in radiation therapy, and now he can watch tv without a problem, doesnt even think about it being death threatening to him or dangerous

so you see it had nothing to do with the tv, but he feared the tv you could say, whenever he saw a tv he was scared to death of the tv, so do you social phobics look at social anxiety wrongly. its not about the people, its not about what they do to you, its not about they are scary

ANXIETY IS A PARADOX

what is happening to social phobics, is they have loneliness associated with people and its death threatening to them, as their mind believes it dangerous to be alone.

look you know you can be alone today in this modern world and not die, but in the time where dinosaurs lived it would be death threatening, and your mind still believes its death threatening,

get it?

look around those forums, you see people posting threads "What do you want to be written on your grave stone"? and many more examples like that,

their mind believes they will die coz they are alone.

DONT YOU GET IT?

that why it works so beutifull for me, when i tap on a memory with EFT on how lonely i felt in this group of people and so on

UNDERSTAND THIS PEOPLE and you will get over social anxiety



continuing from before i mentioned this example

not to get the wrong idea again, you can though slowly expose yourself every day to a little more driving and show your brain its not death threatening, but that causes a lot of work and a long time


people just see beautifull things in driving coz they never emotionaly experienced death with it involved, close to dieing

not because its more positve driving to them than negative motivation getting killed

why do people drive, they see it as the best thing there is, because they never experienced anything life threatening with it

they exactly do what they do because they have no fear in them. but they dont think "oh iam gonna do this because i dont fear it" like i see you look at it, that is wrong

they dont even think about this being dangerous to them, they dont go in a car and think i might die today, they dont

People drive, they know rationaly it can be dangerous, but emotionaly they dont feel danger, they never experienced close death while driving.

You base your decision on emotions not rational thinking

Thats why EFT is the best there is and cognitive behavioural therapy takes long and is simple not good at all, and painful because we will feel emotional pain, because we are doing the opposite of what our emotions are telling us to do

they dont go and socialize and think i might get rejected today, no they just see positive things, because they have no fear, but they dont think about it "iam fearless" so iam gonna drive

experience something death threatening while driving, and your emotions will beginn fucking with you

have a car just break down or always have mehanical failures while you drive, it wont cause him to not drive anymore in a life time, he will never have anxiety about it. just not fun anymore, but you can easily persuade him in this car is more reliable try it,

because there is no fear of death involved.

to a strong social phobic you cant say this girl will like you, she like guys like you, you cant persuade him for nothing in the world. You cant say to him "i told the girl you have social phobia" and she will be very nice to you.

you cant persuade him, to his mind its death treatening period

his fearful mind will start imagining scenarios and think of the worst happening, to protect him to not risk being in death threatening danger


Why the hell do you think social anxiety is such a big problem, coz its death threatening to us to socialize (well thats what you believe) but i say its death threatening to us to not be accepted to socialize, and thats why when we get a chance to socialize our minds tells us we need to not fuck this up to survive


[/b][/b]

 

[cosmosis]

take the fear out, and the person will automatically just see beautifull, positive things in socializing, or driving.

And there it is.

I see this type of thinking all over the place and it makes me sad because its misguided.

It always sounds so logical, but unfortunately its never true.

Every socially anxious person has probably done something, some new therapy, some new idea that took away alot of anxiety for a bit, yet they always fall back into anxiety eventually. Why? Because all they do is trade anxiety for a temporarily void. Their body eventually wins after they tire and they go right back into anxiety...

If you think you can directly change anxiety, you are either fooling yourself or still have a long way to go.

I will say it right now, its complete and utter bullshit to think you can take anxiety away and magically you start to see positive stuff.

It's a fool's game that plays on our minds because that is exactly why we are stuck as socially anxious people to begin with...

We believe that if we take our fear away we will magically become positive again....

It's that mindset that keeps us from ever getting better and also making therapists rich.

Think about it this way instead... Use your mind to see the positive and your body becomes less depedent on anxiety and subsequently it goes.

People are don't become race car drivers because they managed to take away their fear of getting hurt or killed...don't be a fool...they are that way because they love it! they love the thrill of the ride...and they love it so much that their anxiety and fear isn't strong enough to stop them.

Same with social anxiety.

 

[j_brown2]

take the fear out, and the person will automatically just see beautifull, positive things in socializing, or driving.

And there it is.

I see this type of thinking all over the place and it makes me sad because its misguided.

It always sounds so logical, but unfortunately its never true.

Every socially anxious person has probably done something, some new therapy, some new idea that took away alot of anxiety for a bit, yet they always fall back into anxiety eventually. Why? Because all they do is trade anxiety for a temporarily void. Their body eventually wins after they tire and they go right back into anxiety...

If you think you can directly change anxiety, you are either fooling yourself or still have a long way to go.

I will say it right now, its complete and utter bullshit to think you can take anxiety away and magically you start to see positive stuff.

It's a fool's game that plays on our minds because that is exactly why we are stuck as socially anxious people to begin with...

We believe that if we take our fear away we will magically become positive again....

It's that mindset that keeps us from ever getting better and also making therapists rich.

Think about it this way instead... Use your mind to see the positive and your body becomes less depedent on anxiety and subsequently it goes.

People are don't become race car drivers because they managed to take away their fear of getting hurt or killed...don't be a fool...they are that way because they love it! they love the thrill of the ride...and they love it so much that their anxiety and fear isn't strong enough to stop them.

Same with social anxiety.

EMOTIONS my friend, behind soical anxiety is not anxiety, but behind social anxiety is loneliness, take away that emotion and anxiety will not kick in.

this emotion is painful to us, death threatening and so on, to us social phobics

READ the post above your post about emotions i explained and you will know why iam getting over social anxiety day by day

 

[j_brown2]

EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO GET OVER SOCIAL ANXIETY, or understand how it works

read the 3 post from me on page 6

which begins with "Read this and you will understand everything"

 

[j_brown1]

Wanna know how shamans could scare people to death? How that worked

How a vodoo doll worked?

Anxiety my friends, i know the answer to everything

in the example of the vodoo doll, you got so frightened by the way the shaman demonstrated it all, emotions of fear came up, then by beaing so scared already. the shaman takes a doll and sticks it with a needle.

what happens? Why can you feel it like a sting in your body? so easy, anxiety!!, it tries to protect you from the danger, exactly where the shaman stinged the vodoo doll with the needle,you will feel the anxiety as it tries to protect you, it will sting at the same place. the anxiety stinged you at that place not the shamans power

and humans of course like social phobics take anxiety at face value

ANXIETY IS A PARADOX

Thats how stupid if you will anxiety works. Thats why when you are scared of spiders and lie down at a place where you saw some spiders before, you will feel like some soft stings all over your body every few seconds and believe a spider is behind your arm or so on,

anxiety tries to protect you to get out of there

thats why when you have to talk and your mind sees this as a danger, anxiety will not let you, if you will try to talk anyway it will give you a hard time talking to protect you