used to have SA- but doing better now? Help us!
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bcsr
Well-known member
I've actually made quite a lot of progress.
I can, usually, hold a conversation with people pretty well. I have a decent job, bought my own home two years ago, I've made a few good friends. Of course there are still moments when those anxieties kick up, and it's been a pretty rough couple of months for me.
I've worked with a therapist, I've been on four different medications, none of that helped. The only thing that helped was forcing myself to do things that would cause my anxiety to spike. Exposure.
Exercises can be as simple as going shoe shopping. I tried to have some fun with mine, and make myself feel as uncomfortable as possible. I probably wouldn't recommend mine for everyone, lol. I did some pretty ridiculous stuff, but it worked for me.
I can, usually, hold a conversation with people pretty well. I have a decent job, bought my own home two years ago, I've made a few good friends. Of course there are still moments when those anxieties kick up, and it's been a pretty rough couple of months for me.
I've worked with a therapist, I've been on four different medications, none of that helped. The only thing that helped was forcing myself to do things that would cause my anxiety to spike. Exposure.
Exercises can be as simple as going shoe shopping. I tried to have some fun with mine, and make myself feel as uncomfortable as possible. I probably wouldn't recommend mine for everyone, lol. I did some pretty ridiculous stuff, but it worked for me.
sullyS25
Well-known member
I am doing a lot better than how I was in the past. I dont use medication though. I stopped self-medicating with alcohol and drugs and found meditation and spirituality. I have learned to accept when I am feeling anxious and to try and focus on my breath. Acceptance has been key for me. Instead of beating myself up when I am in social situations for not talking more, I accept that I may not have anything to contribute to the conversation and that I tend to be shy around people I do not know. I have tried to stop comparing myself to others because that is a lose-lose situation. I will always find someone that is "better" than me in all aspects of life if I compare myself to other people. As hard as it is sometimes I try and concentrate on the things I am grateful for as opposed to the things in life I dont like. I have embraced positive thinking but am not unrealistic about it. If I constantly think about negative things, my reality will manifest itself accordingly. Constant complaining never got me anywhere and always made things worse...especially when I was with other people. I try not to feel sorry for myself and recognize that some people would love to live the life I live. I don't mean that in a narcissistic way either, I am just thankful for what I have in life.
mart22n
Well-known member
Exposure. Questioning my beliefs and fears. Talking to (or at least trying to) 3 strangers a day is helping a lot. Example: Yesterday I was driving in a cab. Felt anxious of course as I was chatting with the driver.
Me: "I have this problem: I feel afraid of talking to people. What do you think about it?".
Taxi driver: "What causes it? Why?"
Me: "Being teased and mocked in my childhood."
Taxi driver: "Well, there are bad people from every nationality, there are no bad or good nationalities. There's nothing to be afraid of when you talk to people."
And I felt better afterwards
Me: "I have this problem: I feel afraid of talking to people. What do you think about it?".
Taxi driver: "What causes it? Why?"
Me: "Being teased and mocked in my childhood."
Taxi driver: "Well, there are bad people from every nationality, there are no bad or good nationalities. There's nothing to be afraid of when you talk to people."
And I felt better afterwards
slapstick
Well-known member
I wouldnt say I used to have SP...but rather that I'm continually getting better at dealing with it and it doesnt overwhelm me as much as it used to...Key things for me was landing this job where my sister worked which had so few staff (5) and had alot of room that I could keep to myself if I ever had one of my anxiety attacks....2nd was finding a hobby like a sport like Ive always played sport so when a cousin of mine askd me to join his team I havnt lookd back since. You meet alot of people in those situations and youll find people you get along with and screw the rest lol jokn...And third was therapy...I found out through therapy the real cause of my SP after that a light bulb went off in my head and realised then and there I was gona get better.. Five years ago I couldnt leave the house..now I have so many good friends that I cant count them off the top of my head. I am confident when I go anywhere by myself...and I had 3 gf's in the space of 3 months....I can have a long conversation with someone without fear of a panic attack and am getter better every day...
On a last note if you drink alot of coffee quit. Its asking for a panic attack and cigarettes to..um hypnotism and other forms of relaxation techniques help if u do dm everyday...thanx for reading if u have..
On a last note if you drink alot of coffee quit. Its asking for a panic attack and cigarettes to..um hypnotism and other forms of relaxation techniques help if u do dm everyday...thanx for reading if u have..
Sartana
Well-known member
ありがとう;584910 said:
Same as this. I just constantly put myself in to situations that I didn't feel comfortable in. One of my biggest things with SA was that I used to feel sick every time I went to go to a club, to the point that I sometimes went home after only an hour. So I forced myself to go out twice a week. Got myself a job which meant I had to talk to people, made myself talk to people at uni rather than sitting 2 seats away from them, etc.
But you have to commit yourself to trying, simply suffering through things you don't like alone won't work. Oh, and distance yourself from people who don't treat you as an equal.
I tried medication (citalopram) before any lifestyle changes and it made me 50x worse. It actually sent me a bit crazy. I won't take pills like that again.
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setmefree
Member
It was a long process to get to where I am today, you should know there is no quick fix to this. I could go on for hours what helped me, but it might not work on anyone else. Instead I will tell you the most important thing I realized:
Living life is not about being perfect. Nobody is perfect (what is "perfection" anyway?), and if someone would ever manage to become perfect, he/she would be the most generic and boring person ever and nobody would like them anyway. Our quirks and faults are what makes us special and interesting to other people.
Living life is about not being afraid of making mistakes and looking like a fool sometimes. You need to make mistakes in life, it's important. And making mistakes can even be fun and fullfilling, because at least you were brave enough to try, and now you have gained a new experience and know what not to do the next time. Somehow you need to take a step back from yourself and see the humour in life and the comedy in failing. Laugh at yourself, take a deep breath and move on. The confident people you see on the street have failed a million times over, that's why they are confident, because they have learned how to handle failure. And you can too if you practice.
Living life is not about being perfect. Nobody is perfect (what is "perfection" anyway?), and if someone would ever manage to become perfect, he/she would be the most generic and boring person ever and nobody would like them anyway. Our quirks and faults are what makes us special and interesting to other people.
Living life is about not being afraid of making mistakes and looking like a fool sometimes. You need to make mistakes in life, it's important. And making mistakes can even be fun and fullfilling, because at least you were brave enough to try, and now you have gained a new experience and know what not to do the next time. Somehow you need to take a step back from yourself and see the humour in life and the comedy in failing. Laugh at yourself, take a deep breath and move on. The confident people you see on the street have failed a million times over, that's why they are confident, because they have learned how to handle failure. And you can too if you practice.
The Observer
Well-known member
I don't have SA anymore either.
I never used any meds while I had it either. The way I overcame this begain when I said "I dont choose to be like this anymore" then things started to change. I thought different and I acted different and this put me through a transformation. To be honest part of me was saying "f**k it, why should I be like this and not have any fun in life?"
I did look inside and question myself as to why I was like this, I could not see a reason and the way I think is, if there is no reason then there is no problem. Don't be under the assumption "well then, you never had it" believe me when I say I did, it was bad and my childhood and early life was made up from much discord and trouble for many years.
Even if I did find a reason, I'd look for a soultion and my soultions to my own choices in life are "Do I choose this, to be like this? think/act this way? If things are out of my control I'll find other ways of dealing with problems but when it comes to states of mind this is what I do.
I don't susbscribe to the idea/thought of prolonging anything that is unnesessary. I came to the conclusion that SAD was an unnesessary thing in my life that I had no want/need or desire for, so it had to go.
I think you have to find a balance somewhere between the negitive aspects of your personality (our fear & insecurities) and the positive parts and find away to make them work in harmony with each other. If you let the bad overcome the good for so long and keep on giving in and feeding it with all the BS it loves over time it takes a commanding and dominant grip of you (fear) and its so much harder to break free from. That said, it is not impossible as you can see from my post and others here it can be done. You just have to want it enough.
Why do it?
Well these days I am in college learning Sound Engineering
I have made new friends
I'm a happier person
Life is not as bad as I once used to think it was
I never used any meds while I had it either. The way I overcame this begain when I said "I dont choose to be like this anymore" then things started to change. I thought different and I acted different and this put me through a transformation. To be honest part of me was saying "f**k it, why should I be like this and not have any fun in life?"
I did look inside and question myself as to why I was like this, I could not see a reason and the way I think is, if there is no reason then there is no problem. Don't be under the assumption "well then, you never had it" believe me when I say I did, it was bad and my childhood and early life was made up from much discord and trouble for many years.
Even if I did find a reason, I'd look for a soultion and my soultions to my own choices in life are "Do I choose this, to be like this? think/act this way? If things are out of my control I'll find other ways of dealing with problems but when it comes to states of mind this is what I do.
I don't susbscribe to the idea/thought of prolonging anything that is unnesessary. I came to the conclusion that SAD was an unnesessary thing in my life that I had no want/need or desire for, so it had to go.
I think you have to find a balance somewhere between the negitive aspects of your personality (our fear & insecurities) and the positive parts and find away to make them work in harmony with each other. If you let the bad overcome the good for so long and keep on giving in and feeding it with all the BS it loves over time it takes a commanding and dominant grip of you (fear) and its so much harder to break free from. That said, it is not impossible as you can see from my post and others here it can be done. You just have to want it enough.
Why do it?
Well these days I am in college learning Sound Engineering
I have made new friends
I'm a happier person
Life is not as bad as I once used to think it was
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Newtype
Well-known member
This is good. I have come a long way myself and I still have a lot more to do. It's a long process that takes years. There's no easy or quick way.
I never took any medication, never had any therapy, I did it all by myself. I gave myself a goal, something that I wanted to achieve in life at all cost. Every day I work towards the achievement of that goal. The first thing you need to do is stop being negative. There are so many negative people on this forum and it's so annoying. You have to expose yourself. Yes, you will be scared, but you can't let the fear ruin your life. The first time is always the hardest. The second time is easier, the third time is even easier, etc. At one point, you'll be so used to doing things that it won't bother you anymore.
And yes, sometimes you will abandon at the last minute and choose to stay home. It happened to me a bunch of times in the beginning, but now I never do it. Even though I'm scared, I go, and when I come back home, I laugh because it was easier than I thought. Don't expect that you'll be perfect because you won't be. The only thing you can do is improve and keep persevering.
freestylemonster
Banned
I've gotten so much better over the last few years. Like everybody else who has posted, it just came from being brave and exposing myself to my fear. I go to the pub once a week with a good friend and a bunch of his friends that I don't really know. I rarely get very anxious unless I'm going on a date or something, and when that happens I take propranolol (A medication that lowers physical symptoms of anxiety/nervousness). But I think it all comes down to practice and determination in the end.