Update On Dating Unavailable Guy!


Well-known member
Hi All

Here is a quick update on my original story. Here is the link for full story:

Anyway, my EX boyfriend. Feels refreshing and quite weird saying that.

He stayed over on Friday evening. Made it clear that he didn't want to discuss our relationship and nor his decision. However, he informed he wants to maintain in a relationship together. However, we cuddled up and he admitted he likes affection but in small doses.

I texted him last night initiating that I want us to sleep together today when he comes over. He agreed that he wasn't going to drink nor take meds for the day.

At first he promised me he would come over at 12pm today and then changed it to 15:30pm. I wasn't happy and then he changed it to 2pm.

He rang me later and informed he was going to the pub to have lunch and a shandy. He wasn't going to chicken out and he will be at my house at 2pm.

It came to 2:30pm and no sign of him. I rang him and he informed he was still at the pub. He had two beers and was finishing his dinner. He then backtracked and said he had two shandys.

It came to 15:15pm and he turned up at my house. He came in and admitted he had 2 beers. He never apologised. Obviously he drank to avoid sleeping with me.

I got into bed whilst he laid on my bed. I laid in bed crying. Tears rolling down my face. He tried to hug me but I told him not to touch me.

I guess, I realised enough was enough. It wasn't the fact that he lied to me and made promises he didn't want to keep. He didn't show any care nor respect for me despite making plans and then doing something else. He didn't have the decency to be honest instead he strung me along.

I woke up at last and realised I had to end it.

I asked him to leave. I told him it was over between us. I've had enough of the lack of communication. He admitted he found it difficult to come over and sleep together. I feel more for him more than he feels for me. He wants to remain in the relationship with me and he does care for me very much.

I made it clear that he should be honest and instead of stringing me along - then he should pick up the phone and tell the truth. He admitted he was scared of the reaction but I informed I would respect him more if he just told me the truth.

I also informed that he has dodged us talking about the status of our relationship. He doesn't communicate and isn't honest. When he pushes me away when I go to touch him, it feels like rejection. I told him I missed him whilst he was on holiday and he couldn't tell me the same.

He left my house without a fuss.

Although I cried madly when he left. But I realised it was something I had to do.

Now it's time to work on myself and my self esteem issues.
That sounds like it was hard to do, but that you made the right decision. Good job! Taking this opportunity you have now to work on yourself sounds like a smart idea as well, I always find it is easier to make strides when you are not in the thick of things, like a relationship or other commitment. I hope you find the same to be the case for you.
You made a smart decision in letting him go. He obviously was toying with your feelings. I'm sure you don't see it right now, but better things are coming.


Well-known member
Hi.Feels odd commenting on another person's relationship but since you posted on the forum maybe you want that .Anyway.It takes strength to stand up for yourself in a relationship were you are emotionally invested but the other person is not pulling their weight.We all deserve to be treated with consideration and respect .Unfortunetly if you fall for the wrong person then that may end the relationship in some cases since some people like to have things all there own way and be boss in the relationship.They may choose some one they believe will accept being treated badly.You deserve someone good enough for you.


Well-known member
Hi.Your an anxious sensitive person it seems,like many on this site including myself.Your self esteem has taken a knock like it would for alot of non anxious people as well as the anxious.Sadly you are experiencing the negative side of getting into relationship,i.e the breakup.Just remind yourself that ending the relationship was for the best and dont think about going back to him if he was not the right person for you.If he did not treat you well enough then its best to not be with him.Focus on improving your self esteem by reminding yourself of your strengths.If thats what you want then there are other guys out there better suited for you.If you want to stay single for a while to recover then thats fine too and so is staying single longterm.