Trying to figure out assertiveness ideas

[shinghan]

Hey everyone! I've been going through social anxiety group therapy and now I'm at the point where I should start working on assertiveness. I'm really lost as to how I can do that. I don't have any friends where I'm living since I moved cities. I don't work or volunteer as well so obviously I don't have any co-workers to talk to. I don't go to school as well. I currently watch over my sister's kids while she works. I feel like I'm pretty limited with opportunities for practicing assertiveness.

Here are some things I thought of:

- giving compliments to my niece, nephew, and sister
- returning an item to the store
- expressing appreciation


I don't really know what else I can do at the moment. I'm hoping to have a list after all this.

Any thoughts, ideas, and comments are greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

 

[Ransfordrowe]

Hi.Maybe you can practice being more assertive whilst you are babysitting.You are bound to need to say yes or no to requests from the kids.

Alternatively returning goods to a store,is a good idea but choosing the right time of day to avoid huge crowds is important.This might be a more advanced for you know and maybe should be tried when your more comfortable with being assertive.

Good on you though for attending groups to help with your issues.

 

[Megaten]

I suppose you can say hi to neighbors regularly if they are friendly.

 

[arjuna]

I think you are normally assertive when you are with lots of people. I'm not sure why you want to practice being assertive. Also, assertiveness has its limits. Why don't you try to get a group of friends or a job and start from there? If you are an adult people won't normally be difficult in any case...

 

[shinghan]

Oh gosh I totally forgot about this thread! I'm going to bump this thread since it's still useful!

Hi.Maybe you can practice being more assertive whilst you are babysitting.You are bound to need to say yes or no to requests from the kids.

Alternatively returning goods to a store,is a good idea but choosing the right time of day to avoid huge crowds is important.This might be a more advanced for you know and maybe should be tried when your more comfortable with being assertive.

Good on you though for attending groups to help with your issues.

That's actually a good idea Ransfordrowe! I really don't express anything at home. I usually just let them do whatever and then have them eat and sleep at certain times. When they do something inappropriate I don't say anything just because I don't know how to handle situations like those, so it's a great place to start thanks! I think I can start with maybe saying no to my nephew when he tries to eat an unhealthy snack or something. He likes to eat anything with sugar and he will usually eat when he reads a book. I would feel bad for saying no though.

I suppose you can say hi to neighbors regularly if they are friendly.

Thanks Megaten! It sucks for me since I live in an apartment. I do run into people while going up and down the elevator sometimes. Saying hello to someone is still quite a daunting task for me since any kind of talking with any strangers is nerve wracking. I still say it in a very quiet voice which leaves me thinking if the other person even heard or not. I've been doing exposure exercises that involve asking for the time and directions to places I've already been to.

I think you are normally assertive when you are with lots of people. I'm not sure why you want to practice being assertive. Also, assertiveness has its limits. Why don't you try to get a group of friends or a job and start from there? If you are an adult people won't normally be difficult in any case...

Thanks arjuna for the suggestions! I'm actually working on the assertiveness just so I can actually find some volunteering experience or a job.