Too Private?

[Dusti]

I don't know if this falls into the category of shyness. I never looked at myself as a shy adult, however, I was in my childhood and early adulthood. I seem to have a problem talking about myself. I feel that what is inside me is locked in there and it's just too much of an effort to bring it out. I can hold a conversation without problems, but it's usually about the other person or if the conversation turns towards me, it is usually very superficial. A book I'm reading, what's going on in the news, etc. I also don't have a problem with sharing my emotions with someone close. I was at a Wake today with some distant relatives that I haven't seen for a while. Of course everyone is going into detail about this that and the other in their lives. I found myself shutting down totally with just an occasional smile and nod and even having a negative feeling towards those that went in the opposite direction -- constantly talking about themselves. It just feels so uncomfortable to me to do this. And in the rare occasion that I do, I feel overly exposed and uncomfortable. What do you think?

 

[MikeyC]

Welcome to the forum, Dusti.

Some people do have a big problem discussing themselves for whatever reason - insecurities, depression, a perceived lack of interest, and so on - but I will say that what you have seems to be rare, considering that a lot of people I chat to do love talking about themselves. Some like it so much that my thoughts, opinions, and recounts are just background noise until they can talk about themselves again.

Perhaps one day you will be confident enough to chat about things that are happening with you, but I see what you have now as a gift - the ability to listen. It's a great trait. :thumbup:

 

[jaim38]

I also feel uncomfortable talking about myself especially when people ask about my family life, what's my family like, what I do on Friday and the weekends, etc. We all have something to hide, things we don't want people to find out about. So I don't talk about these things. I try to direct the conversation towards some other topic I feel more comfortable talking about.

 

[Capsaicin]

I'm the same way, but I don't think I'm the problem. I think it's the people who are eager to display personal, vulnerable details to anyone who'll listen who are weird.

A benefit to this is that people assume I'm always happy, in agreement, social, and outgoing simply because I don't complain about being otherwise. :thumbup: