Today is the worst day for me in a long time and a friends attitude isn't helping

[Sora]

Ok today has being very hard for me it's like everything hit me at once. I have not felt so well the past few days, I am finding myself very drowsy and feeling dizzy on top of this I have being working too much (maybe it's connected?).

I really feel like I need a big break or rest, but I can't yet. Suppose I will try to make it until tommorow and then give myself a nice relaxing weekend! Why does it feel like everything is happening all at once, nevermind I have a busy weekend so hopefully seeing a few friends will chill me out (hopefully because most people annoy the hell out of me, like the following example!)

Anyways onto the friend, now I really feel like shes trying to piss me off sometimes because sometimes her attitude stinks or the things she says you can just tell shes having a dig at me or that shes not impressed. Someone help me understand what she is thinking or why she is doing this, I've being to the pub with her and some friends a few times but some weeks I don't make it due to work and as soon as I tell her this she is like "thought as much..." "thought so..." that alone to me sounds pissed off or very unfriendly. Am I looking into it too much? I know sometimes text can be misinterpreted but this just feels like something else. I've just stopped replying to her there because I didn't know what else to say in the end and I sensed it going no where good so I left it. She is quite often cold feeling though but I know she has issues opening up to people and trusting people. Still this shouldn't really affect her being like this with me over something so little. Especially if I have to work!

There are many times when I will have a big conversation with her too and it's all great but sometimes when she talks a lot (this is online) she will talk for a while but as soon as I say something that is long she will quite often just reply "ok" I am talking after a huge paragraph, and sometimes in relation to her replies...and all I get is "ok" it makes me think like "ugh! is that it, that's not very sociable!" or sometimes I think shes purposely doing it to piss me off (am I allowed to swear on here? oh well, sorry everyone too stressed I haven't even realised up until now, I hope I haven't swore too much, will try notice from now on). For instance before I was busy working while on msn, not very busy just doing some mild work so my replies were taking longer than usual and she was typing away like a mad woman, I did reply to most things she said just delayed. If I never replied to one single little sentence she was like "well your clearly not bothered are you?!" and then she would be asking me what is wrong and that I seem "angry at her" One day she even asked if I was ok today implying I was stressed the other day and I was like "eh? when did this happen I am fine!"

Why would someone get so worked up over me not going to something? Is it a sign she misses me and wants me to go or is it something else? I can usually figure these things out but with this girl I can't and I am hoping it's not another case of "crazy girl" because I usually attract the crazy ones who willl just mess with my head on purpose. I'm not allowing that to happen this time which is why I have stopped replying but it's just annoying especially as she seems like such a good friend when she doesn't act in these ways.

Sorry it's a massive post and I am rambling, completely understand if no one replies. That's another thing bothering me right now I feel very lonely and like no one even listens to me when I am actually with people and trying to get involved. Like a few moments ago for instance my mam said "are you coming to the haloween party then?" I said I do not know yet and then she said "look you can wear this costume!" and I said "mam I'm not dressing up for it, I don't see the point in haloween to begin with and I hate parties!" she then basically blanked that and said "or look I have this one too..." I was thinking AAAH! then it really annoyed me because she said "you're boring!" I simply replied "I'm never bored!" That really annoys me when people who love parties say that to me, I am not boring I'm just into different things to you!

Eek rant over, sorry people, just really stressed and needed to get this out somewhere. Really would like some light on the friend situation if possible though I am not sure if anyone will be able to.

Thanks.

 

[Agent_Violet]

She sounds like a really needy,insecure person.

it also sounds like she tries to get you involved and is frustrated that you don't get more involved. Perhaps she takes this as a personal insult?

As for taking a really big break...i hear ya honey! I get that way too sometimes. Feels like the world just jumped onto your back and won't leave you alone. It'll pass and you'll feel less overwhelmed soon. Just handle it one problem at a time.

 

[Sora]

She sounds like a really needy,insecure person.

it also sounds like she tries to get you involved and is frustrated that you don't get more involved. Perhaps she takes this as a personal insult?

As for taking a really big break...i hear ya honey! I get that way too sometimes. Feels like the world just jumped onto your back and won't leave you alone. It'll pass and you'll feel less overwhelmed soon. Just handle it one problem at a time.

Yeh, the worst part most of these things are small minor issues, normally they don't affect me but right now I feel like I have no connection with anyone except her so when I can't do something with her or don't want to go to the pub (for millions of reasons) I feel like I am saying no to company forever, like I won't ever get it again. I know deep down I will but my minds just messing with me tonight.

I've emailed the client anyways and they are being understandable so I can have a small break tonight and then fix it tommorow (hopefully). Then a nice weekend break!

I should start feeling better soon I hope. Just really bugs me when people do this. The thing is she doesn't seem that needy, she always says to me how she doesn't really open up and she hates it. She says she hates affection and stuff too and she would find it weird if someone hugged her for too long and stuff but part of me thinks she is just afraid to let people in. Perhaps I should try to set my problems a side and see if I can figure out if that is what it is. It's just being too hard tonight especially in text.

She has actually said sorry before, though only once I think. I just wish she would tell me something, I can't handle it when people don't communicate properly, worst part is she is likely never going to admit it, I mean shes only said sorry once. I don't see her doing that often. I'm not sure what to do guess have to wait it out (hate that!).

Thanks a lot though, really helps knowing someone else is trying to understand. I will stop rambling now as rambling will only make me think of it more. Time to go relax!

 

[Little Miss Muffet]

Hi Sora,

When you replied you couldnt go and she replied: " thought so" she does sound pissed off like she expected you to say it. Has she invited you a few times and youve not gone? She does sound insecure like shes taking it personally.

We need people that understand us: my sister for example really understands me: if i arrange to do something but the pressure really builds up and i cancel she will say: " dont worry, dont feel pressured to come, take care of yourself, see you ... and cos that pressure has been taken away i then feel able to go, cos i know whatever happens i have support.

 

[Sora]

Hi Sora,

When you replied you couldnt go and she replied: " thought so" she does sound pissed off like she expected you to say it. Has she invited you a few times and youve not gone? She does sound insecure like shes taking it personally.

We need people that understand us: my sister for example really understands me: if i arrange to do something but the pressure really builds up and i cancel she will say: " dont worry, dont feel pressured to come, take care of yourself, see you ... and cos that pressure has been taken away i then feel able to go, cos i know whatever happens i have support.

Hey, thanks for replying

I have only said I am not going twice I think. Maybe 3 times, once I might of been ill but I have been more times or equally. Just lately I have being very bad in terms of my mental state, I tried to tell her this but she just doesn't say a damn thing whenever I let her know I have a problem (which is very rare because I hardly ever complain/tell people my problems). The first time I did open up to her she basically said nothing or "ok" was proper explaining to her how I feel like I am struggling and donno what I can do, at one point and she replied "ok" that really annoyed me so I thought right well she clearly pushes me away or doesn't want me to open up to her so I just won't tell her when somethings wrong with me.

Also she did this the very first time I said I could not go, she said "thought so..." or "I predicted you would say that" I think she likes to be able to predict me, but she can't. Although the past week and then this week she has even though both weeks I did intend to go but I got ill or busy working.

I would be thinking the same lines as you if this had not happened from the first time I said "no" How can she predict I would say no when I have always went before?

I've calmed down now anyways but it's still good to get others opinions on this so thank you! I know what you mean about how people can comfort you and then you feel like you want to go, that has happened to me a lot and I have went somewhere and enjoyed it!

She tells me she is shy and doesn't like to talk about things but I never see the shyness, I see she doesn't really want to talk about things though and for several weeks now I have just being thinking to myself "shes cold" why do I want to be close to someone whose going to be like this? Fact is I am a sucker, I like to be nice to everyone and I want to help her if I can but it doesn't seem possible to. Then I start to wonder if it is me but I think I am just being silly then.