To be honest, I just want to be myself now

tooshytosay

tooshytosay

Well-known member
I am sick of trying to live up to other people's expectations -

Of being this outgoing, sociable, talkative, 'interesting', character that society wants us to be.

I am just sick of trying to be who I am not.
So I just don't care any more - I really don't!

I would rather be myself all my life rather than try to live a life being somebody else's expectation.

I would rather not have friends.

I would rather not have a "girlfriend".

Because I am just sick of society, and the incomprehensible workings of it. I just want to be myself, who I was born to be. If who I am is at odds with society, so be it, so be it! I don't care. Why should I even bother to conform with this conformist, close-minded, prejudiced, discriminatory world?

The pain of loneliness is nothing compared to the pain of not being yourself. I'd much rather be utterly lonely than be someone else.
 
S

Silvox Black

Well-known member
I understand where you are coming from. There are times that I grow weary of all "society" has to offer. Yet I must caution you from breaking completely. You will find that the human mind requires friends no matter how much the body denies it. Some of the things you feel pressured into having due to society, thus resulting in you rejecting it, may not necessarily be bad. You are young and so it is understandable that you do reject it, but I ask you to keep an open mind in these things. Not all of the things society recommends are bad. Merely the majority of society is.
 
DarkSeeker

DarkSeeker

Well-known member
Good for you, now you can go and get your dignity back. You aren't anything if you don't think you exist right?
 
Hellhound

Hellhound

Super Moderator
Just because you are yourself it doesn't mean you won't have any friends or a gf. Some people won't expect you to be a certain way...
 
theblank

theblank

Well-known member
tooshytosay said:
I am just sick of trying to be who I am not.[/I]
Click to expand...

Me too!!! There's so much pressure to conform and be like everyone else that I just can't stand it. We were all created to be unique, one of a kind individuals...not carbon copies of one another.

I've been trying hard to "be myself" (whoever and whatever that is) and not care what other people think about me. It's been a struggle because I'm so used to hiding and suppressing who I really am, that I get scared and resort back to being a socially acceptable, empty shell of a human being. This causes a war inside of me and a lot of self hatred. My goal is to be authentic to who I really am and be my own original person. Whoever likes me likes me, and whoever doesn't, doesn't. I look forward to living a life that is in agreement with who I really am and finding friends who love and accept me for who I really am.
 
V

Vecis

Well-known member
I am done trying to be like anybody else long a ago. I cannot be ultra social person, I got only one close friend and I accept it. I dress how I like and believe what I want. The number one rule in psychology I believe Is to be in harmony with yourself if you not then there is problem.
 
T

thor01

Well-known member
You summed up exactly how I feel too!! I will only be me, even if it keeps me stuck socially where I am.
 
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jannuzf

jannuzf

New member
agree totally with you..but what if being like that affects your chances in life? I feel I am more that capable of having quite a few jobs (in terms of intellect), but struggle to get them currently because I find it hard to 'sell' myself to others. A lot of this difficult stems for the fact that I am humble, and dont feel like exaggerating about my past work experiences...also because I feel unease at pretending to be something I am not. What to do...
 
A

ABCguy

New member
I agree 100% with OP. It sickens me that you have to be moulded a specific way in order to seem "normal" in society and to people.
 
D

Demnos

Member
Love the posts here, guys, potentially sarcastic as that may sound *grins*.

May I share something with you that was of great help to me, years ago?

In order for YOU to be HAPPY (that is ultimately what this is about, isn't it?) you need to discern who YOU are. That is to say, what YOU represent/stand for. Specifically, what YOUR values are.

When I say “values” I don’t mean “stuff you like” I mean, specifically, what you aspire to.

For instance, my heroes (the people I aspire to the same ends of) are Socrates, Machiavelli, Napoleon and Miyamoto Musashi. When I take the time to analyse that list, my values become evident.

Wisdom, Sacrifice, Morality, Power and a sense of Honour (however that is defined).

Who are your heroes, and, by extension, what are your values?

The answer to that question is the very basis for defining who YOU are. Until you understand who YOU are there is no hope at all of anyone accepting you for who YOU are, because you are still trying to define yourself. No one can journey with you if you do not know where you are headed, right?

Strangely, the very fact that you’re looking for answers puts you far ahead of the rest of the world, evolutionarily speaking. Most people who believe in God (sorry to use religion as a metaphor, here) have never read the Bible, and most people who are social have no idea who they are. They have simply learned what the general population expects of them and they have adhered, without thought, to that code.

Of course, these people would not lay down their lives for the codes they live by, because the code does not reflect who they are, it simply dictates what they have elected to show the world.

Once you understand who YOU are then you will understand where you are headed. If Money, Respect and Control are your values, then stand for them. Live in their pursuit. Die for their possession.

Others who pursue those same values will befriend you. Those who despise those values will reject you.

This is life. Understanding the world is no more complex than understanding yourself and the fact that nothing in the universe is independent; but rather, we are all completely inter-dependent.

Without plebeians there would be no one to rule, and therefore no one for the Powerful to exercise their power over. Without the poor there would be no Wealthy. Without contempt there would be no Respect. We need all perspectives in order to have any. Find out what yours are and play that hand.

Walk your path. You will find that there are others on that same road.

If you do not walk the path, you will simply remain standing where you are, and clearly this prospect is unsatisfactory to you, or you wouldn’t be posting here.

No?
 
Lea

Lea

Banned
Demnos said:
Love the posts here, guys, potentially sarcastic as that may sound *grins*.

May I share something with you that was of great help to me, years ago?

In order for YOU to be HAPPY (that is ultimately what this is about, isn't it?) you need to discern who YOU are. That is to say, what YOU represent/stand for. Specifically, what YOUR values are.

When I say “values” I don’t mean “stuff you like” I mean, specifically, what you aspire to.

For instance, my heroes (the people I aspire to the same ends of) are Socrates, Machiavelli, Napoleon and Miyamoto Musashi. When I take the time to analyse that list, my values become evident.

Wisdom, Sacrifice, Morality, Power and a sense of Honour (however that is defined).

Who are your heroes, and, by extension, what are your values?

The answer to that question is the very basis for defining who YOU are. Until you understand who YOU are there is no hope at all of anyone accepting you for who YOU are, because you are still trying to define yourself. No one can journey with you if you do not know where you are headed, right?

Strangely, the very fact that you’re looking for answers puts you far ahead of the rest of the world, evolutionarily speaking. Most people who believe in God (sorry to use religion as a metaphor, here) have never read the Bible, and most people who are social have no idea who they are. They have simply learned what the general population expects of them and they have adhered, without thought, to that code.

Of course, these people would not lay down their lives for the codes they live by, because the code does not reflect who they are, it simply dictates what they have elected to show the world.

Once you understand who YOU are then you will understand where you are headed. If Money, Respect and Control are your values, then stand for them. Live in their pursuit. Die for their possession.

Others who pursue those same values will befriend you. Those who despise those values will reject you.

This is life. Understanding the world is no more complex than understanding yourself and the fact that nothing in the universe is independent; but rather, we are all completely inter-dependent.

Without plebeians there would be no one to rule, and therefore no one for the Powerful to exercise their power over. Without the poor there would be no Wealthy. Without contempt there would be no Respect. We need all perspectives in order to have any. Find out what yours are and play that hand.

Walk your path. You will find that there are others on that same road.

If you do not walk the path, you will simply remain standing where you are, and clearly this prospect is unsatisfactory to you, or you wouldn’t be posting here.

No?
Click to expand...

Demnos you're a great philosopher but there is no need for too much philosophy here, as some things are quite simple. You obviously never suffered asperger syndrome or autism spectrum disorders which I have and suspect people like OP have too. Then you're an outcast everywhere you go, have difficulties getting jobs, friends and everything. Even if you try! Then you might philosophise as much as you want, but that will not change the fact that you always will walk upon this earth as a weirdo. To you it might seem as if we're dwelling on misfortunes but these are a hard fact of our everyday lives. Having "wisdom, sacrifice, morality, power and sense of honour", will not feed you bread, will not give you a job, will not take you away from abusive conditions at home, will not give you anything. If I was a dirty happy deceptive slut, I woud get on somewhere in life much easier. So, honorable moral qualities definitely yes and I would not give them up for anything, just want to say they won't change your condition and miserable life.
 
Lea

Lea

Banned
Sorry it wasn't even misunderstanding, you meant well and I guess I understand what you wanted to say. But as you see I am a bit bitter (not actually just a bit, especially today), that makes me react bitterly as well. Both answers can be in a way right, all depends on the point we look at it from.
 
D

Demnos

Member
your point is, none the less, well founded, ma'am.

it is arrogant of me to assume that logic can be as useful to other people as it has been to me.

i appreciate your honesty, so please don't feel that i've missed your point.

to be fair i quite enjoy your somewhat maternal aggression. people here are very fortunate to have you watching out for them.
 
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